100% Biker 145

100% Biker 145
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Sometimes you really do have to wonder about people, don’t you?

A few weeks ago I was at this bike show with me Bandit. I’m standing chatting with someone I know and saying that, even though the bike’s only been on the road a short time, I’ve already heard a good few folk telling their mates that it can’t possibly work and so must’ve come in a van. I kinda knew this was going to happen because, as you probably know, bikers can be incredibly conservative (with a small ‘c’, not a large one – conservative, not Conservative, y’know?) when it comes to anything a little out of the ordinary, but it still makes me smile. I’ve never learnt to drive, you see, so bringing it anywhere in a van is really quite difficult…

Anyway, the person I’m talking to (no names, no pack drill) decides this is very amusing, and from that moment on takes it upon himself to remark loudly any time anyone goes near the bike, “came in a van, you know!”. Most people either don’t hear him or take no notice, but these two blokes who are checking it out do, and take exception to it. “Bloody hell, that’s a bit out of order,” one of them says, “I don’t think they should allow bikes that weren’t ridden into bike shows.” And his mate agrees.

Greatly amused by this, I lean towards the pair of them and say, “yeah, I’ve heard it’s got no engine internals either – it doesn’t even work.” Now bearing in mind that the bike has a UXB-logo seat and I’m the only person there wearing a UXB-logo’d hoodie, they don’t seem to make the connection and wander off, shaking their heads in disgust. No, really.

A short while later, it’s trophy presentation time and, as the Bandit has been awarded ‘Best Engineering’, when it’s my turn I fire it up and ride down to the stage to receive my award, making sure that I catch the eye of the two blokes who are standing watching me as I ride past them and nod. Well, at least they both had the decency to go a slightly red colour and look at the floor after I’d caught their eyes…