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Old 30-11-2017, 04:33 PM
seadog seadog is offline
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Default Christmas story.

Be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas as the police are checking on people.
Last night I was out for a few drinks with my mate Danny and one thing led to another and we had too many Sambuccas as well as a few ales. Not good. Knowing I was over the limit I decided to leave the motorbike and take a bus home.
I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breath tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it passed.
I arrived home safely and no accident, which was surprising because I have never driven a bus before and I am not sure where I got it from.
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Old 01-12-2017, 05:28 AM
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Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
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You plank! Lol! An oldie but a goody! as they say!
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Old 06-12-2017, 01:40 PM
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I got pulled twice last year by the police doing checks.
One was the breathalyser at about 10-30am which was negative. I gave up the booze many years ago so it's a pleasure not to have to think about whether I'm safe to drive at night or in the morning after. That was my first breath test.

The second time in town I was profiled by two coppers standing on the exit from a traffic island at a retail park.
I could see one of them surruptuciosly mouth into his radio as he looked directly at me.
So around the corner I was flagged into a service road to have a good doing over. Or car safety and documents check. So there was a full anpr van as I pulled in which would have confirmed my legal driver status. There was also two full traffic cars and loads of bill on foot.
I wondered if they were looking for terrorists or summat like that?
As I pulled up a copper came over and started asking me dumb questions like where have I been etc.
Then her mate came over and checked the car tyres and did a walk round safety check. While I was talking to one copper at the window the other one did a vehicle check on her radio stood behind the car.
Then the copper at my window asks to see my driving license. I said I haven't got it on me. The muppet then comes out with "you have to carry it by law".
We then had a heated discussion about the BS she gave me. She gave me a police caution as well.
I know the law well enough that you do not have to carry a license on the road. But she want having it and got all stroppy with me until one of colleagues s wandered over and I asked her to explain to her colleague. Thankfully she did confirm what I said.
So the stroppy copper then gave me a documents producer. I pointed out there was no need for a producer because the anpr had checked me on the way in and her mate did a vehicle and driver check stood behind my car.
But she had to have her strop so I took the producer and within 7 days took my docs to the designated police station.
I wasn't too chuffed.
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Old 06-12-2017, 05:48 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HOS View Post
I got pulled twice last year by the police doing checks.
One was the breathalyser at about 10-30am which was negative. I gave up the booze many years ago so it's a pleasure not to have to think about whether I'm safe to drive at night or in the morning after. That was my first breath test.

The second time in town I was profiled by two coppers standing on the exit from a traffic island at a retail park.
I could see one of them surruptuciosly mouth into his radio as he looked directly at me.
So around the corner I was flagged into a service road to have a good doing over. Or car safety and documents check. So there was a full anpr van as I pulled in which would have confirmed my legal driver status. There was also two full traffic cars and loads of bill on foot.
I wondered if they were looking for terrorists or summat like that?
As I pulled up a copper came over and started asking me dumb questions like where have I been etc.
Then her mate came over and checked the car tyres and did a walk round safety check. While I was talking to one copper at the window the other one did a vehicle check on her radio stood behind the car.
Then the copper at my window asks to see my driving license. I said I haven't got it on me. The muppet then comes out with "you have to carry it by law".
We then had a heated discussion about the BS she gave me. She gave me a police caution as well.
I know the law well enough that you do not have to carry a license on the road. But she want having it and got all stroppy with me until one of colleagues s wandered over and I asked her to explain to her colleague. Thankfully she did confirm what I said.
So the stroppy copper then gave me a documents producer. I pointed out there was no need for a producer because the anpr had checked me on the way in and her mate did a vehicle and driver check stood behind my car.
But she had to have her strop so I took the producer and within 7 days took my docs to the designated police station.
I wasn't too chuffed.
Did you say 'Merry Christmas' as you left?
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:57 PM
HOS HOS is offline
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Yeah I think I said kiss m ass
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Old 07-12-2017, 07:00 AM
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Many years ago, I got pulled in the car three times in one night. I was sober and talking 3 other mates home, who shall we say were a little over the top

First time, we'd only got a few miles down the road and stopped and got a producer. This was normal as when we used to go to the same place on the bikes at least two of us got pulled every Thursday night anyway.

So we got back to my town and got pulled there. a female copper and a sergeant, they wandered round the car looking at the tyres etc and then the female copper got to the window to check the tax disc. I did recognise her from school at least 4 years previously,when she was in my class, Susan Hogarth, will never forget her name. So did my mate Mick (RIP),

"I'VE FUCKED HER" ............. shouted Mick at the top of my voice, of course the guys in the back joined in and I'm cringing waiting for the cuffs to go on.

She went scarlet, walked away from the car and the sarge fell about laughing "on your way".

We got pulled again just before me and Mick dropped off the two reprobates in the back, copper recognised those two in the back and as he had never seen my car before decided to pull us, another producer
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Old 07-12-2017, 04:57 PM
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The year Barbara Castle introduced the breathalyser I was involved in a drinking contest with my future Brother-in-law. We left on my Ariel and sidecar and were getting close to his home when he shouts 'There's some cops behind us' and the blue flashing lights came on. I turned to look behind me and saw the twat was was hanging down the back of the sidecar on his back with his arms dragging along the road. I pulled over and and as a pre-emptive strike, said to one of the coppers 'I suppose you want to see my license.' Trouble was I was so pissed I could hardly see and kept fumbling thruogh my wallet for the little red provisional license. Meanwhile the other copper had finished bollocking said Brother-in-law and asked where he was going 'Home' he replied. Where's your mate going 'Jamaica' came the reply (I lived in Brixton at the time).
The copper said to me ' Make him walk, next time I could do you for dangerous driving.' I rode off as fast as I could once I was out of sight, I came close to shitting myself but either the coppers were aware and alright oir they were totally clueless, either way I managed not to lose my license......
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