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Old 06-03-2015, 01:32 AM
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Default raising standards

I hate to say this, but I have noticed that certain people on this forum are not taking things seriously enough.. I think this is down to poor education and I don't blame these people, rather I blame our education system..

We are using outdated textbooks, for instance I have noticed that dictionaries now have the words computer, television, aeroplane and laptop but one of the most common words in everyday use in the English language is missing..

Sharted.. To fart and follow through.

So I propose that we try to raise forum standards by listing everyday words that are not listed in the Oxford dictionary.

John.
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Old 06-03-2015, 10:16 PM
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How about those words that are in the Oxford dictionary but with the wrong definition?

Such as "oxymoron" Which actually means a stupid person who looks like a cow.
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Old 06-03-2015, 10:42 PM
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welcome additions to the oxford English dictionary FUBAR and FUGLY
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Old 06-03-2015, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harry View Post
How about those words that are in the Oxford dictionary but with the wrong definition?

Such as "oxymoron" Which actually means a stupid person who looks like a cow.
Is that not a moron that looks like a ox Harry

Last edited by The Beer Monsters; 03-04-2015 at 04:36 PM. Reason: Fixed broken quote. Obviously posted by a moron...
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Old 06-03-2015, 11:27 PM
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No because an ox is an ox but a cow is oxy (like an ox)


Here's another, Abscond = beer belly
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Old 06-03-2015, 11:48 PM
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Isn't that abs orb

John.
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Old 07-03-2015, 06:18 AM
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I thought that was a Party Seven, but then I'm one of them unedu...unedif... thik st*ts!
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Old 07-03-2015, 10:00 AM
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How about;

Gladiator
An unrepentant cannibal.
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Old 08-03-2015, 09:37 AM
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How about

Anemic
A small Irishman

Metronome
A small man on the underground
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Old 12-03-2015, 04:33 PM
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Crank = When one goes for a crap, then you decide to chuck one out as well.

Gunt = When a lady of larger proportions has a pot belly that reaches all the way under to her bum, with no discernible separation.

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Old 12-03-2015, 05:30 PM
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Juxtaposition! - WTF is that then?
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Old 12-03-2015, 05:55 PM
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Gunt = When a lady of larger proportions has a pot belly that reaches all the way under to her bum, with no discernible separation.

Now I have to bleach my mind and my eyeballs.

John.
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Old 26-03-2015, 08:12 PM
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Just thought of another one.

Giggle....................To sing a funny song
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Old 26-03-2015, 10:08 PM
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How about gay that means someone happy and carefree, and not someone who gets their shopping delivered by the back door.
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Old 27-03-2015, 04:56 AM
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On that same Basis how about Queer - meaning not feeling very well, or Odd looking and not as Excalibur so succinctly puts it "Get their shopping by the back door!"
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Old 27-03-2015, 11:41 AM
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I said I was trying to raise standards not lower them, here in the valleys many of the houses are built on the hillside so we have a lot of uphill gardeners.

There hopefully talking about our funny shaped vegetables should get us back on track.

How could that possibly go wrong.

John.
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Old 27-03-2015, 01:26 PM
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I've got a penis that looks like a cucumber......
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Old 27-03-2015, 05:29 PM
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Not sure how John expects to 'raise' standards - wouldn't you need some standards to start with?
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Old 27-03-2015, 05:32 PM
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I'll have you know I have very low standards young lady.

John.
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Old 27-03-2015, 08:05 PM
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Well I spose I should congratulate you - cos that's more than the rest of us have!
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Old 28-03-2015, 05:03 AM
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"Ennin Stannit! Ennin Stannit!" A Morcombe and Wise classic... Sounds like John trying to teach us!
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Old 29-03-2015, 11:52 PM
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Convex - To annoy a prisoner
Exhume - A dead person
Expert - An older woman's breasts
Extern - A dead sea bird
Humid - An app for recognising sub-vocalised tunes
Jubilance - A Semitic emergency vehicle
Sexism - A coitus specific double-entendre
Sixties - Almost enough neckwear for a full week
Vagilante - A hardcore feminist
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Old 29-03-2015, 11:54 PM
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Ejaculate - a phrase used to describe a northern chap arriving after the appointed time.
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Old 29-03-2015, 11:57 PM
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Camping - A potentially serious engine fault
Gape - A homosexual primate
Gusto - A Spanish wind
Method - Methamphetamine Overdose
Methodist - Someone dying of the above
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Old 31-03-2015, 07:05 PM
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all of the above,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,pmsl!
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Old 31-03-2015, 07:24 PM
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Quote:
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Camping - A potentially serious engine fault
Gape - A homosexual primate
Gusto - A Spanish wind
Method - Methamphetamine Overdose
Methodist - Someone dying of the above
Class. Do you listen to "I'm Sorry I Don't have a Clue" ?
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Old 01-04-2015, 01:10 PM
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Cannabis - a tin full of Urine
Canape - a posh tin of urine
Piano - How much you urinate per year
Cantaloupe - Unable to run away to get married
Antelope - Insect with large horns
Cobbler - A person who lays cobbles
Urine - shouted by your partner during sex
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Old 01-04-2015, 03:32 PM
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There goes the neighbourhood!
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Old 02-04-2015, 01:09 PM
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Bourbon - A French Bore
Insinuate - Eating too much cake
Motorcycle - Mohammed riding a bike up a large hill
Algae - Liken
Lion - A person telling untruths
Tanks - Sound of gratitude
Beefeater - A person who stamps on bees
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:27 PM
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Virgin - on the ridiculous
Penis - mightier than the sword
Cock-a-leekie - Prostate problems
Fanny - Cockney joker
Nipple - Japanese Apple
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