100% Biker & Trike Magazine Forums

Go Back   100% Biker & Trike Magazine Forums > 100% Biker > Down The Pub

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #3751  
Old 03-03-2018, 05:35 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

FFS Man keep the noise down! There's rumblings about doing up the bloody annexe as it is!......the polystyrene tiles in there keep mysteriously falling down leaving adhesive blobs for me to scrape off!.....
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3752  
Old 03-03-2018, 06:00 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
FFS Man keep the noise down! There's rumblings about doing up the bloody annexe as it is!......the polystyrene tiles in there keep mysteriously falling down leaving adhesive blobs for me to scrape off!.....
I worked in the factory where they made those tiles (Trondex) and they should come down because they are fecking dangerous, a serious fire hazard, emitting Cyanide gas as they burn. When I worked there as a tool fitter they formed a factory fire brigade because of the risk, though it was believed that freshly formed (by steam) mouldings would not burn as they were considered self-extinguishing. We had been formed about 2 weeks, just enough time for some basic training from the real Fire Brigade and a bit of first aid when a worker cutting down some pipes managed to set fire to a large amount of mouldings in cages below him. He fucked off, leaving his oxy-acetylene cutter in the middle of the blaze and did not trigger the alarm!
I was on the mezzanine floor and noticed some of the asian workers running, which made me think they were giving money away in the canteen since most never moved faster than a slow shuffle. I turned and the flames were now licking across the ceiling, aprox 30 foot high and my mate said " come on, this is what you volunteered for!". It took around 15 mins to put the fire out, especially since most of the fire hoses were surrounded by mouldings, and the fire brigade turned up just after (this was during the 70's when the FB was on strike, but we were a special case as the toxic fumes from a fire could kill the nearby village).
On another note, I worked with a guy, while contracting, who had massive burn scars on his back. He had got totally pissed and come home collapsing face down on his bed. Probably from a fag the flat went up in flames and the fire brigade had to smash the front door down as he was still in a drunken stupor. The polystyrene ceiling tiles were melting and dripping all over his back, but he said the worst pain was from where they grabbed both legs, pulled him out and caught his bollocks on the door step! Not sure if he was kidding, but you never know......
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3753  
Old 03-03-2018, 06:49 PM
HOS HOS is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
Ah, well my nearest neighbour is about 1/4 mile away, so no worries about upsetting him. So I can play at pyros and play music as loud as I like (well when the missus isn't about). But I've spent most of the last two years bringing the house up to a liveable standard, that's before we put our stamp on it. Y'know paint the plaice green wit orange paintwork put bloody kitchen islands in so you have walk around the fucking thing coz it's always in the way. knock all the walls down coz you (She) wants open plan living, the bath placed in the middle of the room for no know reason other than She saw it in Shit Housekeeping and any other fad that these bloody home mags come up with!
Those posh home magazines have got a lot to answer for!!!
We called in a small local collective of shops in a nearby village and there's the usual chintzy tat shops and a deli and a cafe and a bespoke kitchen shop. So after a cup a tea and a bun we wandered over to this kitchen place and had a poke around. There was an ooje island unit and they are topped with a 2" thick slab of polished granite with a sink cut into it and a fancy tap. So we asked one of the sales staff how much the island unit would cost,?
Well I tried very hard not to show that I almost choked when he said the price. Me trying not to look like a ejjit by being clueless about kitchens.

The price just for the island unit was ten grand!!!!!!
I was trying to calculate how many decent bikes I could get for that much wonga? Like you do? I generally work expensive things out by comparison to the number of motorbikes it would be in the garage.

I've heard of people spending £25,000 which is nothing in the world of snobby kitchens. It's a lotta money for somewhere to keep the beer cold and unwrap your takeaway? I'd rather be out on the bike than have a snobby kitchen.

I'm not in anyway ashamed about knowing nothing about nobby kitchens, I don't get it.
Reply With Quote
  #3754  
Old 03-03-2018, 06:56 PM
HOS HOS is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Default

Today I are connecting up my new (refurbished) pc.
Its a Dell and with a 19" Dell monitor.
Very nice and I'm happy with it.
Windows, 500gb hdd, 8gb Ram, 6ghz speed, WiFi and ethernet.

I'm just setting up my software and licenses to activate em.
Reply With Quote
  #3755  
Old 04-03-2018, 07:32 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Today I are doing bugger all!
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3756  
Old 04-03-2018, 09:35 AM
HOS HOS is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
Today I are doing bugger all!
Tis the sabbath
Reply With Quote
  #3757  
Old 04-03-2018, 12:38 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HOS View Post
Tis the sabbath
Friars Sabbath is a Saturday.......
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3758  
Old 04-03-2018, 04:47 PM
HOS HOS is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
Friars Sabbath is a Saturday.......
Days....... numbers...... its all confusing
Reply With Quote
  #3759  
Old 04-03-2018, 08:04 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

'Tis the Jewish Sabbath, Muslims on Friday and Christians on Sunday, all the same but different.....
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3760  
Old 04-03-2018, 10:57 PM
HOS HOS is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
'Tis the Jewish Sabbath, Muslims on Friday and Christians on Sunday, all the same but different.....
Yeah same shit, different brand label.
Reply With Quote
  #3761  
Old 04-03-2018, 10:58 PM
HOS HOS is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
'Tis the Jewish Sabbath, Muslims on Friday and Christians on Sunday, all the same but different.....
Hang on I thought it was fish and chips on Fridays?
Reply With Quote
  #3762  
Old 05-03-2018, 08:14 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

I work to a three day calendar:-

Yesterday, Today and tomorrow,
Last week, this week, and next week,
Last Year, This year, next Year!

Anything outside of this and it comes into the categories of fuck knows, Don't knows, Don't care!
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3763  
Old 05-03-2018, 08:15 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HOS View Post
Hang on I thought it was fish and chips on Fridays?
When I'm bleeding hungry and can't be arsed to cook....Day!
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3764  
Old 05-03-2018, 08:18 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
'Tis the Jewish Sabbath, Muslims on Friday and Christians on Sunday, all the same but different.....
Um, we is Ewokandtuckites! Matey! No other religion counts...everyday is a Sabbath Jutht becauthe I have a lithp!....
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3765  
Old 05-03-2018, 06:08 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
Um, we is Ewokandtuckites! Matey! No other religion counts...everyday is a Sabbath Jutht becauthe I have a lithp!....
The worship of Mammon, the only religion that keeps on giving (while we take).

I always go to church (the bank) and pray that I may be enriched by mighty Mammon through trade and commerce......
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3766  
Old 06-03-2018, 06:27 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Bank? BANK???? What have you learnt from Ewokandtuckism? Nothing! NOTHING!....

Old sock, under the matress, and for real security either the freezer or potting shed, for long term safekeeping the wife knicker draw!

Now go back and do the pennance!....

Self flagellance withe the bath brush to the tune of " Heavo Ho and up she rises!" twenty times! Whilst wearing the marigolds!
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3767  
Old 06-03-2018, 06:00 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
Bank? BANK???? What have you learnt from Ewokandtuckism? Nothing! NOTHING!....

Old sock, under the matress, and for real security either the freezer or potting shed, for long term safekeeping the wife knicker draw!

Now go back and do the pennance!....

Self flagellance withe the bath brush to the tune of " Heavo Ho and up she rises!" twenty times! Whilst wearing the marigolds!
Who do you think owns the 'independent' banks..... Ewokandtuck, I just visit to do a Scrooge McDuck and dive into the money.......

No need for penance, I can get one of our debtors to do it for me......
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3768  
Old 07-03-2018, 06:04 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

It would be quicker to do the pennance yourself,,,you tried catching the buggers, lately?
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3769  
Old 07-03-2018, 06:04 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Off to Mum's....
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3770  
Old 07-03-2018, 06:33 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HOS View Post
Hang on I thought it was fish and chips on Fridays?
Compulsory for Catholics only, though you can eat Platypus as it is regarded by the church as fish, or at least it used to be...... Bagsie the poisonous spurs......
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3771  
Old 08-03-2018, 07:08 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
Compulsory for Catholics only, though you can eat Platypus as it is regarded by the church as fish, or at least it used to be...... Bagsie the poisonous spurs......
You've stumped me! No bloody answer to that one...lol!
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3772  
Old 08-03-2018, 07:56 PM
harry's Avatar
harry harry is offline
Techno Guru! He's Good! He Knows Everyfink!
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Taunton
Posts: 3,535
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
Compulsory for Catholics only, though you can eat Platypus as it is regarded by the church as fish, or at least it used to be...... Bagsie the poisonous spurs......
I seem to remember reading that the church declared Barnacle Geese to be fish (hence the name) so they could eat goose on Fridays.
__________________
si is does non opportunus vos postulo a maior pango
Reply With Quote
  #3773  
Old 09-03-2018, 06:09 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

Ewok likes being goosed!
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3774  
Old 09-03-2018, 06:02 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by harry View Post
I seem to remember reading that the church declared Barnacle Geese to be fish (hence the name) so they could eat goose on Fridays.
Yep! Our religion has rules, so let's do all we can to get round them......
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3775  
Old 10-03-2018, 05:01 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

I didn't know we had rules?
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #3776  
Old 10-03-2018, 12:24 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
I didn't know we had rules?
I was talking about the Catholics, Our religion only has one rule, do what the Profits say.
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3777  
Old 10-03-2018, 07:24 PM
Peirre's Avatar
Peirre Peirre is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Madam trixy`s house of ill-repute somewhere on the outskirts of doncaster
Posts: 3,566
Default

There’s no point worshipping a false profit
Reply With Quote
  #3778  
Old 10-03-2018, 07:27 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peirre View Post
There’s no point worshipping a false profit
All our profits are false according to out accountant (or at least that's what we tell the tax man)
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #3779  
Old 11-03-2018, 04:07 AM
Peirre's Avatar
Peirre Peirre is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Madam trixy`s house of ill-repute somewhere on the outskirts of doncaster
Posts: 3,566
Default

Would that be Mssrs Out & Out (liars) accountants?
Reply With Quote
  #3780  
Old 11-03-2018, 05:49 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 12,583
Default

You should know, being our Bikkie Fund Miss Manager....
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:41 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.