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Old 07-12-2011, 11:09 AM
kidhaf's Avatar
kidhaf kidhaf is offline
Billy No Mates (only virtual ones!)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 1,141
Default On a roll here....

Eighty-Nine things a woman can't do: (and counting)

1. Know anything about a car except its colour.
2. Understand a film plot.
3. Go 24 hours without sending a text message.
4. Lift.
5. Throw.
6. Run.
7. Park.
8. Fart.
9. Read a map.
10. Rob a bank.
11. Resist Ikea.
12. Sit still.
13. Tell a joke.
14. Play pool.
15. Pay for dinner.
16. Eat a kebab whilst walking.
17. Pee out of a train window.
18. Argue without shouting.
19. Get told off without crying.
20. Understand fruit machines.
21. Walk past a shoe shop.
22. Make a decent bacon sandwich.
23. Not comment on strangers clothes.
24. Use small amounts of toilet paper.
25. Let you sleep with a hangover.
26. Drink a pint gracefully.
27. Get a round in.
28. Throw a punch.
29. Do magic.
30. Like your friends.
31. Enjoy porn.
32. Eat a really hot curry.
33. Get to the point.
34. Buy plain envelopes.
35. Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet.
36. Sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold."
37. Go shopping without phoning 20 mates.
38. Avoid credit card debt.
39. Dive into a pool.
40. Assemble furniture.
41. Roll a bogey between finger and thumb.
42. Set a video recorder.
43. Not try and change you.
44. Watch a war film.
45. Understand why flirting results in violence.
46. Spend a day by themselves.
47. Go to the toilet by themselves.
48. Buy a purse that fits in their pocket.
49. Choose a video quickly.
50. Conserve electricity, water or any other form of energy.
51. Admit they are wrong.
52. Not try and undermine you.
53. Let you make your own decisions.
54. Agree with you.
55. Use common sense.
56. Make a major change to the world for the better with an invention.
57. Construct a floor plan.
58. Remember something that isn't for them.
59. Win something.
60. Walk out of a store with stuff they didn't plan to get before they walked in there.
61. Get something done right the first time.
62. Call anyone 'mate'.
63. Stay in the Kitchen.
64. Stay quiet for longer than one minute.
65. Find Madeleine McCann.
66. Cook.
67. Stop making their husbands lives hell.
68. Get married and still give a blow job.
69. Have their money ready before they get on the bus.
70. Clean out a tropical fish tank.
71. Get ready in the morning without making a racket.
72. Choose suitable footwear.
73. Post lists and pretend they're jokes.
74. Compliment other women.
75. Find your mates are good company for you.
76. Take it up the arse without moaning about it beforehand.
77. Open a jar.
78. Ask you to open a jar without then making a comment such as 'I loosened it for you'.
79. Keep track of something and not lose it.
80. Listen.
81. Make a right decision other than having sex with you.
82. Be the best.
83. Win five Olympic gold medals without steroids.
84. Interact with anyone they haven't known for at least a year.
85. Light farts.
86. Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above.
87. Drive.
88. Find a way out of a cellar.
89. Find your car keys.
The Geek

Triumph Owners Motorcycle Club Glasgow

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Old 07-12-2011, 03:01 PM
Nik Nik is offline
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Saarfuk
Posts: 6,072
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I disagree on number 8.
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Old 07-12-2011, 03:10 PM
kidhaf's Avatar
kidhaf kidhaf is offline
Billy No Mates (only virtual ones!)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 1,141

Ahhhh but do they fart with the freedom, pleasure and abandon that a bloke farts with....
The Geek

Triumph Owners Motorcycle Club Glasgow

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Old 08-12-2011, 01:46 PM
pale rider pale rider is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,801

thay do when thay get older,my granny used to knock em out anywere at any time,real loud eye burners
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Old 08-12-2011, 06:44 PM
PeteHaddock PeteHaddock is offline
Need to Get out More!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: lincolnshire
Posts: 467

sorry but also gotta disagree with 20. the missus works as a pub cleaner and comes home most mornings with a pocket full of quids the punters have loaded the machines up with the night before. and not to mention the great pleasure she takes in farting in bed!
Remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous?
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