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  #1  
Old 15-12-2009, 09:05 AM
eigerton eigerton is offline
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Default wish me luck

today is the annual getting dragged around ikea day; i've put on my doc martins so I can fight my way out and packed my british army marching compass so I can fight in the right direction - anything else I need ?
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Old 15-12-2009, 09:22 AM
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An 'Escape without the guard noticin' card from Colditz the boardgame.

Extra ration packs of patience.
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Old 15-12-2009, 10:58 AM
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Elbow armer.....water.....any form of relaxent, administered before entry to the shop ( a little smoke perhaps...mug of co-coa...etc) ....a will to survive...and an unwavering belief that there will be an end, and you will escape with your life !
Good luck and gods speed friend.
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Old 15-12-2009, 03:31 PM
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I made it ! - started to flag a bit in the soft furnishings but I rallied

didn't realise they sell cider in there - shame it's at the end and not the beginning

on the plus side the wallet stayed intact
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Old 15-12-2009, 03:45 PM
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What a shit ploy that is sellin' cider after the event. They need to be told, it must be given away freely upon entry before the first aisle is reached.
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Old 15-12-2009, 05:06 PM
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Well done that man !

A little drop of cider at the start would ease the nerves ! Next time I go....I am starting from the end ....probably find myself curled up in a display bed !
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Old 15-12-2009, 05:30 PM
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I bet it's shit cider.
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Old 15-12-2009, 05:42 PM
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Quote:
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I bet it's shit cider.
It's Kopahead (speelung?) pear cider usually and it's luvverly - the only thing worth going to Ikea for (although I'm told the hpt dogs are good too).
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Old 15-12-2009, 05:47 PM
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If it' the stuff I'm thinking of then it hasn't even seen a pear never mind been made from one....
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Old 15-12-2009, 05:49 PM
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If it' the stuff I'm thinking of then it hasn't even seen a pear never mind been made from one....
Dunno wot you're thinking of, but it's the best of the pear ciders ... in my humble opinion, o'course.
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Old 15-12-2009, 06:09 PM
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Koppaberg

It's OK, but Weston's is better.
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Old 15-12-2009, 07:59 PM
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I was think of Copperhead, it's most definitely shoite pretend cider.
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Old 15-12-2009, 08:50 PM
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pear cider - isn't that what they used to call babycham ?
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Old 15-12-2009, 09:22 PM
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No! Babycham is a perry, though I don't know what the difference is....


Bit like beer and Barley Wine
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Old 15-12-2009, 09:56 PM
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Perry is made from pears in the same way cider is made from apples.

Babycham became popular because it came in the smallest bottles they could get away with so you didn't have to taste too much of the stuff at one time.

I'd love a babycham were the words spoken in response to a chat up line from an early TV advert. At the time they were spoken by a very tasty blond that would have looked down her nose at most blokes. In this PC world they would have probably used Julian Clary or a bloke with straw in his hair and sheep shit on his wellies.

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Old 16-12-2009, 01:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik View Post
Dunno wot you're thinking of, but it's the best of the pear ciders ... in my humble opinion, o'course.

I concur, I even like the non-alcoholic stuff as well, I have had quite a few raised eyebrows when folk have spotted this stuff sitting on my desk at work.

Well the last time I was in there, I decided to try and learn to speak Ikean, before I completely lost the will to live..

Billy = bookcase
Skarsgard = picture
Kramfors = sofa

See, pretty good aren't I?



Top-Tip....

Go to Ikea with absolutely no intention of shopping, get a cuppa and a hot dog, go and find a comfy seat (Kramfors) in the middle of the store, sit back and watch, you will never be more than 30 seconds away from observing the next couple having an argument - It is brilliant entertainment.
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Old 16-12-2009, 07:17 PM
eigerton eigerton is offline
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me and the memsahb don't get a chance to row in ikea, i'm always at least 50 yards and a few mph ahead of her

I did once fall asleep on the slatted bench in the fabric department, those big yellow bags can hold a lot of doze-dribble
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Old 16-12-2009, 09:13 PM
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Quote:
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me and the memsahb don't get a chance to row in ikea, i'm always at least 50 yards and a few mph ahead of her

I did once fall asleep on the slatted bench in the fabric department, those big yellow bags can hold a lot of doze-dribble
That's a non-PC way to desribe an oriental shop worker........

I quite like Ikea, better than a lot of furniture stores and reasonable prices.
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Old 17-12-2009, 06:10 AM
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Quote:
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That's a non-PC way to desribe an oriental shop worker........


never before heard of them being called an ikea
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Old 18-12-2009, 06:44 PM
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Oh yes! In chinese Ikea means 'total dickhead on minimum wage' ...... It's all in the pronounciation.
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Old 18-12-2009, 08:23 PM
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Bugger...................

I've never seen that...she must've known and steered me away from it .
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  #22  
Old 20-12-2009, 08:59 AM
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done the crimbo shop at tescos yesterday...........fuckin hell, i wanted to kill everyone, never seen a supermarket so rammed
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Old 20-12-2009, 12:39 PM
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done the crimbo shop at tescos yesterday...........fuckin hell, i wanted to kill everyone, never seen a supermarket so rammed

the shops are closing for a whole day this year so everybody has to stock up
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Old 20-12-2009, 08:57 PM
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the shops are closing for a whole day this year so everybody has to stock up
tell me about it....we did a 2 week shop so we dont have to go through all that again next week and get what we need from the corner shop across the road........the way some of the trolleys were rammed up, you thought that we were due a nuclear attack
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Old 20-12-2009, 10:49 PM
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We are having christmas day on tuesday so the shops will still be open for those things we forget.

John
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Old 05-01-2010, 03:26 PM
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Gadzooks!

I love christmas but I hate the suicidal shopping madness that goes on everywhere, in Asda just before christmas to get A loaf of bread and was horrified at the amount of people storing for for war. Hell's teeth asda is only shut for one day!

And I had to gently inform the schoolgirl mum, behind me in the queue, that shemey bint or not, if that pram digs into my ankle one more her baby will be getting a second birthing from mummy's bum - pram intact!

So anyway I popped in on the 27th, for milk and a bottle of coke this time and phaq me, if it wasn't the same all over again (minus the ignorant bint and baby).
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Old 05-01-2010, 09:20 PM
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Tesco's are selling easter eggs now.
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