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  #1  
Old 09-11-2007, 09:47 PM
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John Hopkins John Hopkins is offline
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Location: Tredegar, South Wales
Posts: 16,062
Talking The 12 o'clock PC rhymes

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh sh:t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her arse
and now two teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.
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  #2  
Old 09-11-2007, 10:45 PM
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Location: north wales boyo
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One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
Drew there swords and shot each other.
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  #3  
Old 09-11-2007, 11:09 PM
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Location: Somerset
Posts: 2,468
Talking

Mary had a little pig
She couldn't stop it grunting
She took it down the garden path
and kicked its fucking cunt in.

Ok Ok.....I'll get me coat.

Chopper.
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  #4  
Old 10-11-2007, 12:04 AM
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Louis Louis is offline
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Location: Gobbin Land
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The boy stood on the burning deck
having a game of Cricket
the ball rolled up his trouser leg
and stumped his middle wicket


In the street of a thousand arseholes
by the sign of the swinging tit
Hoo Flung dung was murdered
by his sister Hoo Flung sh1t

Hoo Flung Sh1t was a Whore
a thousand dicks had been through her
the smell of her Twat
killed a bald headed Rat
Who'd lived 20 years down a sewer
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2007, 12:21 AM
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Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater
Had a wife and loved to beat her
Smacked her twice across the head
Fucked her arse and went to bed.
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  #6  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:46 AM
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Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in the bunker,
A piece of coal went up it's hole.
And paralysed it's plunker!
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Ye dinnae bounce sae weel, when yer aulder!
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  #7  
Old 10-11-2007, 02:49 PM
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Mary had a little lamb
It followed her to school
It hid behind the teachers desk
and made a litle pool

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a Duck
she put the in the garden shed
to see if they would,,,,,,get along.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas Pie
He stuck in his thumb
and pulled out a plum
and the juice squirted right in his eye.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Knickers all tattered and torn
It wasn't the spider who sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue with his horn.

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  #8  
Old 10-11-2007, 03:08 PM
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mary had a little lamb
it was so full of frolicks
it tryed to jump a barbed wire fence
and ripped it`s f**king bollocks
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  #9  
Old 10-11-2007, 04:19 PM
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mrs mc pherson was diein one night
when all o a sudden she needed a ****
up wi the winda out wi the bum
out came a mixture o apple an plum
just at that moment a copper came bye
he got that mixture right in the eye
the judge and the jury asked her to confess
about leaving the copper in a hell o a mess

does yer muther drink the wine and sleep wi ethnic minority men
does yer father hog his hole in glesga green
if aunti had a cock she,d be yer uncle
an yer sister,s the biggiest ride a have ever seen
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