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  #1  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:07 PM
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Default The 5 Stages Of Drunkeness

Stage 1 - CLEVER
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You NOW you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT.And, of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the Entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and Really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you are still CLEVER so, naturally, you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING
person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone,especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear
of losing this battle, because you are CLEVER,you're RICH and Hell - you're BETTER LOOKING than them anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do
anything,because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You can dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also INVISIBLE to the person who wants to
fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs Because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know ALL the words.
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Old 04-02-2006, 11:28 PM
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No.5 i can relate to drinking and its effects.
Nos.1-4, well, i've never related to alcohol consumption.
I just know that stuff.
Cos i'm clever y'see.
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  #3  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:29 PM
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ps;- This white rum's alreet....

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  #4  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taff
Cos i'm clever y'see.

I canne see much actually at the moment, thought it was my specs, but I cleaned them and it isnae!!!
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  #5  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:36 PM
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2 bottle s Hobgoblin, 1 bottle red wine, contemplatin openin g 3rd Hobgoblin read this deciscion made cheers!

Im now the best lookin, hardesrts ,sexiest, luckiist smoothy singer in the street!

Be in the pub but Im baysitn hic!
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Old 04-02-2006, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatmo1
2 bottle s Hobgoblin, 1 bottle red wine, contemplatin openin g 3rd Hobgoblin read this deciscion made cheers!

Im now the best lookin, hardesrts ,sexiest, luckiist smoothy singer in the street!

Be in the pub but Im baysitn hic!
Well I hope the bays are asleep them mate 'cause by the sounds of it they huvnae much luck if they urnae
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  #7  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taff
ps;- This white rum's alreet....

Ahhh rum, when we were in the Dominican the other year there, the rum factory was on one side of the street and the Coca Cola factory on the other
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  #8  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fall3nAng3l
I canne see much actually at the moment, thought it was my specs, but I cleaned them and it isnae!!!
I'm sorry dear.
My first language is english.
What ON EARTH is that inane gobbledegook YOU're blathering???
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  #9  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:48 PM
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I cannot see much actually at the moment young sir, thought it was my spectacles, but once I had de-speckled them I realised it was not.

There, that better
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  #10  
Old 04-02-2006, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taff
I'm sorry dear.
My first language is english.
What ON EARTH is that inane gobbledegook YOU're blathering???
yeah what planet you on???
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Old 04-02-2006, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bad toad
yeah what planet you on???
Planet Fran

Tis good in here
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  #12  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:15 AM
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mmm????? not the fran i know ?????
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Old 05-02-2006, 12:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taff
I'm sorry dear.
My first language is english.
What ON EARTH is that inane gobbledegook YOU're blathering???

Taff.....English Language......

Llanfairpwllgwyngychgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch?

Noo fit wye ur ye no unnerstanin fit yon wee mannies oan aboot! Ye glaikit clump o' waddie baccie!
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  #14  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatmo1
Taff.....English Language......

Llanfairpwllgwyngychgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch?

Noo fit wye ur ye no unnerstanin fit yon wee mannies oan aboot! Ye glaikit clump o' waddie baccie!
Ah'll wee mannie ye, ya fecking hoffwit ye!
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  #15  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:22 AM
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Ahm seevin fit twa - ye'll be a wee mannie an like it!
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  #16  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:22 AM
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fook eye ye kaants gibber gibber nick nack ooh aah!!cantanahhhhh!!! fer fuck sake keep it simple eh!!!!!!!
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  #17  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatmo1
Ahm seevin fit twa - ye'll be a wee mannie an like it!
Well ye'll be jist it the reet height for me to heidbutt ye in the baws then wint ye!!!
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  #18  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bad toad
fook eye ye kaants gibber gibber nick nack ooh aah!!cantanahhhhh!!! fer fuck sake keep it simple eh!!!!!!!
o k a y
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  #19  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatmo1
o k a y
d o k a y

Der is dat better?
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  #20  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:40 AM
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:d :d :d :d :d :d !!!!!!!!1
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  #21  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bad toad
:d :d :d :d :d :d !!!!!!!!1
Is that morse code or summat?
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  #22  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:45 AM
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ah feck off if ya canna take an english joke dont bother posting a reply!!
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  #23  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bad toad
ah feck off if ya canna take an english joke dont bother posting a reply!!
Miaooowwwww!!!!

Saucer and milk requred?
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  #24  
Old 05-02-2006, 02:48 AM
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jist cos thay canny talk right...

Its no a'body thats lucky enuff tae be born on the guid side o' the border....
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  #25  
Old 05-02-2006, 06:57 AM
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oi, you lot, wake up, i was enjoying this argument
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  #26  
Old 05-02-2006, 07:00 AM
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its better if they speak engish, as opposed Jockanease !!!
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Old 05-02-2006, 07:03 AM
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morning young sir
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  #28  
Old 05-02-2006, 07:04 AM
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Morning
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  #29  
Old 05-02-2006, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike
its better if they speak engish, as opposed Jockanease !!!
You forget,young Spike,I've heard you speak,and it can hardly be described as English..........
And Toad,she ain't the Fran you know.
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  #30  
Old 05-02-2006, 01:07 PM
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Spike is barely human.......
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