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  #61  
Old 31-01-2006, 01:36 AM
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Excellent song, STEViE and a lesson to be learned there for all. I made an excellent choice in appointing you, Troubador to the Royal Court.
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  #62  
Old 31-01-2006, 01:58 AM
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just lookin' thru my old record collection an' found this ....
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  #63  
Old 31-01-2006, 02:00 AM
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I've just noticed the price on that. Bloody hell


'Scuse my profanity Your Vag ....
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  #64  
Old 31-01-2006, 06:49 AM
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You Poor Deluded Fools!

Do Not Listen To The Rantings Of An Evil Empire Builder!

He Is Bearer Of False Promises!

Grav, I Command You To Decease In Your Course Of Power!

Be Wary Of Your Supporters!

I Here Rumblings Of Unrest In The Corridors!

Beware The Ides Of March!
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  #65  
Old 31-01-2006, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Friar Tuck
I Here Rumblings Of Unrest In The Corridors!
Nah,that's just KKM's ARSE!
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  #66  
Old 31-01-2006, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck
Grav, I Command You To Decease In Your Course Of Power!
No, fuck off!
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  #67  
Old 31-01-2006, 07:56 PM
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Dear Mr Grav Sir, Your magisty,

Thank you for the kind offer of the position of keeper of beasts and mucking out of stables, but the pay's sh*te, so's the sh*te, and all my mates say I smell. That donkey keeps trying to hump me when I feed them, and the weird mystical beasts keep singing Enya songs... can I have an indoor job please with no animals and nothing nasty..

Ta
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  #68  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:01 PM
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You can be keeper of the royal mop.
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  #69  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:03 PM
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Oi King Kant i've have a bad week can i be the hangman ?
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  #70  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by ernie the dwarf
Oi King Kant i've have a bad week can i be the hangman ?
Can you reach the rope?I think not!
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  #71  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougie
Can you reach the rope?I think not!
Don't need to m8,lever's an stuff these day's
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  #72  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:06 PM
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Can you reach that?
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  #73  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:07 PM
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Only just,or i could use my butterfly gun with a magnum load
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  #74  
Old 31-01-2006, 08:26 PM
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right , im starting a revolutionary group{thats to revolt against this evil empire not a tumbling act } . was thinking of calling it Workers Against Nasty Kunt Empire Ruler, or WANKERS for short, so anyone want to be a wanker . we will need weapons , i have a catapult, and have taken the workings out of a biro , to make a pea shooter. So...

VIVA LA REVOLUTION
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  #75  
Old 31-01-2006, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by STEViE
And while we're all waitin' for the Kant's next proclomation (or should that just be motion ) an' me bein' one of the court troubadors, I thought I'd sing you a song. It'll take some of you back a good many years tho many may not know or have heard of it. It's rather subversive in these times of 'The New Kantdom' but hey musicians are supposed to be a little subversive ain't they ....


The Kant's New Clothes - as sung by Danny Kaye .... but not quite like this


This is the story of the Kant's new clothes:
Now there was once a kant who was absolutely insane about new clothes and one day, two swindlers named Ewok and Tuck came to sell him what they said was a magic suit of clothes. Now, they held up this particular garment and they said, "Your Travesty, this is a magic helmet, bike jacket and jeans." Well, the truth of the matter is, there was no suit there at all. But the swindlers were very smart, and they said, "Your Travesty, to a wise man this is a beautiful raiment but to a fool it is absolutely invisible." Naturally, the Kant not wanting to appear a fool, said,

"Isn't it grand! Isn't it fine! Look at the cut, the style, the line!
The suit of clothes is all together
But all together it's all together
The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen.
These eyes of mine at once determined
The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine
The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green.
Somebody send for the Quim."


Well they sent for the Quim and they quickly explained to her about the magic suit of clothes. And naturally, the Quim not wanting to appear a fool, said,

"Well, isn't it oh! Isn't it rich! Look at the charm of every stitch!
The suit of clothes is all together
But all together it's all together
The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen.
These eyes of mine at once determined
The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine
The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green.
Summon the court to convene."

Well the court convened, and you never saw in your life as many people as were at that court. All the ambassadors, the dukes, the earls, the counts, it was just black with people, and they were all told about the magic suit of clothes. And after they were told they naturally didn't want to appear fools and they said,

"Isn't it ohhh! Isn't it ahhh! Isn't it absolutely wheee(whistle sound)!
The suit of clothes is all together
But all together it's all together
The most remarkable suit of clothes a tailor ever made.
Now quickly, put it all together
With gloves of leather and hat and feather
It's all together the thing to wear in Saturday's parade.
Leading the royal brigade."

Now Saturday came and the streets were just lined with thousands, and thousands, and thousands of people, and they all were cheering as the artillery came by, the infantry marched by, the cavalry galloped by. And everybody was cheering like mad, except one little boy. You see, he hadn't heard about the magic suit and didn't know what he was supposed to see. Well, as the Kant came by the little boy looked and, horrified, said,

"Look at the Kant! Look at the the Kant! Look at the Kant, the Kant, the Kant!
The Kant is in the all together
But all together the all together
He's all together as naked as the day that he was born.
The Kant is in the all together
But all together the all together
It's all together the very least the Kant has ever worn."

All the courts positioned to call an intermission
His Travesty is wide open to ridicule and scorn The Kant is in the all together
But all together the all together
He's all together as naked as the day that he was born.
And it's all together too chilly a morn!


Hope ya enjoyed that. I reckon I did
absoolutely excellent
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  #76  
Old 01-02-2006, 12:17 AM
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All seems quiet on the Kant front. So here's tonights ditty ....


Old Kant Grav

Now Old Kant Grav was a greedy old Kant
Yes a greedy old Kant was he
He called for his steward, said "I'll have a whisky"
Nah bugger it, I'll have three
An' he went through a bottle, an' then another bottle
'Cos a very greedy Kant was he.

(Secret Squirel mode on)

Right, better be off. Us subversives have got plottin' to do ..... aw, alright. I'm gonna have anutha beer an' hit my pit
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  #77  
Old 01-02-2006, 07:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iomrob
right , im starting a revolutionary group{thats to revolt against this evil empire not a tumbling act } . was thinking of calling it Workers Against Nasty Kunt Empire Ruler, or WANKERS for short, so anyone want to be a wanker . we will need weapons , i have a catapult, and have taken the workings out of a biro , to make a pea shooter. So...

VIVA LA REVOLUTION
Join me in The Cause!

Together, we can eliminate these evil upstarts!

Join with PIFFL! (Peoples Independence For the Forum Liberation!)

Together we can be PIFFLING WANKERS!

A Force to be Reconned with!

WHAT SAY YOU?
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  #78  
Old 01-02-2006, 07:13 AM
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Quote:
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No, fuck off!
Shan't, you Kant!!!
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  #79  
Old 01-02-2006, 07:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violetmay
Dear Mr Grav Sir, Your magisty,

Thank you for the kind offer of the position of keeper of beasts and mucking out of stables, but the pay's sh*te, so's the sh*te, and all my mates say I smell. That donkey keeps trying to hump me when I feed them, and the weird mystical beasts keep singing Enya songs... can I have an indoor job please with no animals and nothing nasty..

Ta
Coe and Join The Cause My Dear!

I shall bestow upon you Dame of The Order of The Chocolate Mouse! In honour of your Suffering at the the hands of the Evil Grav, Kink of Kants!

*and if you are really Kind to me (nudge ,nudge, know wot I mean?) I'll let you look after the New Republic Scissors!
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  #80  
Old 01-02-2006, 11:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck
Coe and Join The Cause My Dear!

I shall bestow upon you Dame of The Order of The Chocolate Mouse! In honour of your Suffering at the the hands of the Evil Grav, Kink of Kants!

*and if you are really Kind to me (nudge ,nudge, know wot I mean?) I'll let you look after the New Republic Scissors!
nice offer but let's talk wonga!!
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  #81  
Old 01-02-2006, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck
Join me in The Cause!

Together, we can eliminate these evil upstarts!

Join with PIFFL! (Peoples Independence For the Forum Liberation!)

Together we can be PIFFLING WANKERS!

A Force to be Reconned with!

WHAT SAY YOU?

ok, PIFFLING WANKERS IT IS,,,,,,,,,,,, errr so how many people in the revolutionary army now

oh aye ,,, VIVA LA REVOLUTION
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  #82  
Old 02-02-2006, 01:28 PM
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Let's do a poll...
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  #83  
Old 02-02-2006, 03:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violetmay
Let's do a poll...
Watch what you say Violetmay, that could be taken as a race hate statement
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  #84  
Old 02-02-2006, 04:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violetmay
That donkey keeps trying to hump me when I feed them, and the weird mystical beasts keep singing Enya songs... can I have an indoor job please with no animals and nothing nasty..

Ta
ooooooohhhhhhhhhh
your motjesty
please may i have that job.........


if its going spare and faj hasnt steamed in yet!
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  #85  
Old 02-02-2006, 04:14 PM
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Consider it yours.
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  #86  
Old 02-02-2006, 04:16 PM
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woooooooohooooooooooo

long live the king


and the chemist!
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  #87  
Old 02-02-2006, 05:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by technoboiler
woooooooohooooooooooo

long live the king


and the chemist!

That donkey is really randy. And as for the Bull... but good luck to you, I prefer new job. Has it's perks.
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  #88  
Old 02-02-2006, 05:48 PM
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jobs looking better by the minute
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  #89  
Old 02-02-2006, 05:51 PM
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Er, have you got your pay packet yet.. Grav said he'd put it in post, a week ago, but didn't get it...
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  #90  
Old 02-02-2006, 05:54 PM
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the queen pays me........................every nigth
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