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Old 07-12-2012, 01:08 AM
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Angry VERY sad, pathetic tosser!

Some of you may have read my recent thread about buying a new place. Well after much wrangling and generally being fucked about by penpushers, I finally managed to buy the place. Contracts are signed and sealed, job done.

The basic plan is to convet the cattle barn into a small cottage and use the land to build a plant nursery. The planning department have actually been very helpful, offering lots of guidance and information. With a few minor tweaks they like our plans. All good so far.

So we are now very busy getting the plans drawn up, getting utilities on site etc. I borrowed a digger of a mate and cleared away some of the turf around the barn/cottage and the gated entrance. I got 20 ton of scalpings to put down around where I am going to start work and the entrance to the site. Just driving my 4X4 in and out churned up the entrance, so it seemed like a good idea to be ready for when I can start work properly.

I got a call from the planning department. Some pathetic, sad tosser has decided to take it upon himself to stop at my property, take pictures of what I have done and send a complainjt to the council that I have started building work without any planning permission!!

I mentioned this to the farmer that used to lease my new land from the council. The same bloke has taken pictures of him, his wife and his kids, working on his farm. He lodged complaints about the smell from the pigs, put a huge ladder up against his house so that he could take pictures of the pigs being moved from one building to another. Then called the RSPCA, the Evironment Agency and the Animal Rights people to complain about the pigs.

The same farmer has bought the land that backs onto my land. He has planning permission to build a concrete track to his new farmhouse. The asshole with the camera went down to the new track and stood a tape measure against the new concrete and sent a complain to the planning department and Highways Agency complaining that the concrete was the wrong depth and grade.

I did some checking up and this fucking saddo wanker is a townie that bought a big thatched house in the village 5 years ago. Since he moved in he has lodged formal complaints about all the farmers in and around the village. Everything from mud on the road to smells from the pigs, sheep and cattle, noise of combines working in the evening, animal shit on the roads, noise from cattle being taken for milking.

Why the fuck this guy thinks he can move into the countryside and get everyone to change just for him and his stupid bitch wife is totally beyond me.

Hands up all those that agree that this guy needs his arse reaming out with a traffic cone. Anyone want to take bets on how long it will be before I simply have to punch his stupid fucking face in? Always one of these arseholes ain't there.

Chopper
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Old 07-12-2012, 07:30 AM
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Good rant, I just hope he fucks off quietly, now.
Don't like the countryside? Fuck off back to the city, simple!
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Old 07-12-2012, 08:00 AM
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its same all time
folk moving near speedway track up here...complained about noise....DOH
Folk moving under flight path....noise...DOH
Folk moving near farm...cockrel noisy...DOH
We worked 7 days a week getting houses ready for people moving in...5 houses ready a week...first load that moved in...complained as we were working sundays ...to much noise...FECK HOW did you think we got YOUR FN houses ready. DOH

why dont these people research first???....because they think they are better than you...but in reallity they are sad lonely individuals ..
Unfortunatly way to many of them now .
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Old 07-12-2012, 08:51 AM
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what a fucking wanker small minded idiots are the bane of my life too chopper
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Old 07-12-2012, 10:14 AM
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There was a case where a bloke lost his claim/case against a Cockerel
.. Cock a Doodling/Calling on every morning... The Judge said the the Cockerel and indeed the the farm and all the animals were there before the complainant moved in, not the other way around... So therefor No Case! I believe that once a Judge has made a decision on a case, that then sets precedence on any future case...
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Old 07-12-2012, 10:18 AM
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Some complete arsehole rented a house in Farnham and then complained about the chimes from the town hall clock. Instead of telling them to stfu, the twats on the council silenced the clock.
Death is far, far too good for some people.
The complete arsehole for whining and the twats for listening to him.
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Old 07-12-2012, 12:07 PM
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Well look on the bright side..

If it wasn't for him and the gypsies we probably wouldn't have all these interesting stories to read..

John
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Old 07-12-2012, 12:43 PM
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I was brought up on a farm (main part had been sold years before so we had a workshop in a wood and lived in the farm workers cottage), we used to let a banger racing team use the side of a track to prepare their cars, the neighbour was a guy who owned a plant hire firm, he bought the huge house for the land it had and used the "stable" to repair and repaint vibrating rollers etc. Both parties were happy and as a kid I used to earn to odd 5 repainting rollers.

Then a townie (accountnat) moved into the twee old cottage opposite, he was fine for a bit then after his wife ran off and left him he became a complete twat. Loads of complaints about non-agricultural land use about every neighbour he had. We had to tell the banger people to move away which led to us getting loads more stuff going missing to pikeys (you had to go past where the banger people were to get to our workshop) and Trevor had to stop bringing rollers and dumpers home. Luckily the farmer with the field behind the guys back garden decided to install a slurry spreader in the field behind the guys house and continually spray pig slurry over it (permitted agricultural activity). It ruined the field for a few years but the guy finally had a nervous breakdown and moved away.
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Old 07-12-2012, 12:59 PM
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it is amazing the power that one person can gain, and how much the complaint of just one person can ruin things for so many others

as a kid I used to race radio control cars, there was a stunning track and facility on a football field up at Tibshelf, people travelled from all over the country to race there, staying at local B&B etc, spending money at local pubs, shops and takeaways, filling up with fuel for long drive home etc etc

1 old twat with nothing to do and all day to do it decided he didnt like it, track had been there for years before he purchased his bungalow, he complained so much and had local councils create meetings, and all sorts of stuff, it was hilarious that at one of the council meetings there was nearly 100 members of the public in attendence, about 90 of them were racers that had travelled to try and put forward our side. the complainant didnt even attend

it was prooved that the noise from the football and rugby matches was that much louder that even with a full race meeting in progess it couldnt be heard across the fields and up to his house due to the football matches, his neighbours all agreed that it wasnt a problem

the track was bulldozed, local council lost a rental income from the club, local businesses lost about 18 weekends a year of well increased trade.

that old bastard sold his bungalow a week after the track was demolished.

WHY?? just why do these people have to do things like this, maybe its small penis syndrome, perhaps they failed the entrance exam to become PCSO or traffic wardens and now are bitter towards the world
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Old 07-12-2012, 01:29 PM
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Sounds like this tosser is becoming a nuisance, get an ASBO raised against him!!!

TBH the authorities are probably aware of him and have to go through the motions as their policies dictate, unfortunately this will have a knock on effect.

I bet he would make a very good foundation for any building work...

To summarise, BELLEND!!!
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Old 07-12-2012, 01:33 PM
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with the power some of these busy body types can weild, especially if the local council set are urbanites too with little sense of rural living.

There was a housing estate built just outside brands hatch, people who moved there complained about the noise and won their case - a noise limit now applies that actually excludes MotoGP from running there without additional silencing.

Janet Street-Porter moved to a country house, noticed a green lane behind her garded that was used by trail riders, and had it closed down because she disliked the noise.

These types of people complain and those who judge the complaints are often white-bread suburbanites themsleves who find bikes, and pigs, and tractors all noisy/dangerous/smelly/in their way during the commute and are only too happy to use their official authority to curb those activities as a sort of revenge-by-proxy.

Yorkie is right about Judicial precedents....but these only apply to the same and inferior courts. Another Court of the same level is still free to make its own ruling. Only if an appeal to a higher court is lodges, heard, and decided can the precedent be spread to all inferior courts. The ultimate arbiters are the Supreme Court, or the ECJ - to which all Courts are bound by "Stare Decisis" - that which has been decided has been decided
If you are going to fight any of these complaints, make sure you talk to someone who knows what they're doing. An amateur defence may land you with a bill to pay to the other side.
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Last edited by Fenrir; 07-12-2012 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 07-12-2012, 02:04 PM
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Yeh but you do realise that the country side is supposed to look like a Constable painting with neatly manicured hedges, animals that only speak when spoken to, and the whole lot smelling of roses.
Alternatively you could remind him that the country side is one big factory unit that keeps idiots like him in food and clothing.
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Old 07-12-2012, 02:08 PM
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Think I will stick with my original idea and bitch slap the silly twat in public. I have decided to call him "THRUSH", as in irritating cunt.

Wonder if his wife would be interested in any of my hand made items. Obviously she ain't getting any from him. Must call in and have a chat with her.

Chopper
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Old 07-12-2012, 03:31 PM
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have a few of the lads come round with their bikes, maybe a few girls as well for a photoshoot and see if you can get him to join in with the shoot and compromise him
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chimaera View Post
have a few of the lads come round with their bikes, maybe a few girls as well for a photoshoot and see if you can get him to join in with the shoot and compromise him
Actually not that silly an idea - if you held a shoot that was only visible from his silly ladder and not from any other public vantage point you could probably get him done under peeping tom rules.

Gooing on from what Devon-Tony said about the RC Car club, the reason the field that the Reading MAG Lion Rally has been held in for the last few years is so flat and used to be so closely mowed is that it was actually the airfield for a RC Aeroplane club but a local busybody complained and they were restricted to so few flying days a year it was no longer worth them renting the part of the field they used so they went elsewhere/disbanded (not sure which).
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:53 PM
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think of it this way,he has no life,no interest,and no one will remember him for anything worthy.he knows he is waiting for god,and he knows he is a missrable cunt and no one likes him,or has any interest in him,the only way he can get noticed is to complain,now the idea is this,you give said wanker something to complain about,something you aint arsed about,like put up a old phone box near the wall and paint it pink.he will realy get his teeth into it,while you get on with what you realy want to do with no shit from tosser.eventualy the phone box gets removed,he thinks hes scored a win,and you get to chuckel all day.
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Old 07-12-2012, 10:49 PM
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thatched roof goes up in flames fairly easy
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:55 AM
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thatched roof goes up in flames fairly easy
a chinese lantern party it is then
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Old 08-12-2012, 11:25 AM
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Couple of handfuls of grass seed on his roof one rainy night....
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Old 08-12-2012, 03:21 PM
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kick his cunt in . one dark night - no words
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Old 08-12-2012, 05:28 PM
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think i would go with andy c, when you have done throw him in to a hawthorn hedge, memories are made of this
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Old 10-12-2012, 01:36 PM
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Cnuts like that are everywhere.

We live right on the edge of a town. if we walk in one direction, we have a town and all the convinience that goes with it, the other side we have farms and arable land. Sometimes our garden smells of derv fumes, takeaway's and petrol stations, just like where I grew up. Some days our garden smells of animal shit, animal feed and muck spreading, just like where the wife grew up. Both the town, and the farms have been there for considerably longer than we have, and we love it where we are.

An arsehole moved in about a year ago and started complaining about the farming side of things, I used to get all the stories as i like walking and obviously choose the quieter direction for my walks, I have become quite friendly with the local farmers who have got to know me walking through their land. He complained about a right of way across one farm being too muddy, complained because a dog had barked at him on another farm, but he was also complaining about the town, wanting speed limits reduced on the dual carriageway to 40mph because there is nowhere safe for him to cross, (there is one of them push button things at a set of lights about 40 yards from where he crosses), then he started a one man mission complaining about peoples hedges growing over their property line.

Eventually a little old lady, who by her own admission, had nothing better to do, started following him around and complaining about his activities. He went quiet from then on.

Owned by a 78 year old lady!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE around here knows Doreen now.
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:39 AM
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Chop, you should just ask everyone to start pointing lenses at him and his property, irrespective of what he's doing, he'll soon get pissed off with it and when he does get pissed off - carry on doing it.
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Old 11-12-2012, 01:51 PM
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got it right - beat them at their own game. For all magistrates / councillors / etc love their neat-and-tidy suburbia, getting a pensioner on your side might get you around the ASBO they had in mind before
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Old 12-12-2012, 02:39 AM
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Shoot the cunt in the face. Sorted.
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:22 AM
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Get a load of marijau...mariwa....marij... Pot/Grass plants. When he's out pop over the fence and shove them in his greenhouse or plant them in his veg patch/herbacious border. Then phone the old bill and tell them that he's growing weed. Sit back and enjoy the fun as they come trampling over his garden and cart him off with a bit of luck!
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saxman View Post
Shoot the cunt in the face. Sorted.
Attaboy, way to go!

Simple, direct, job done. You can join my government when I am elected PM.

Chopper
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Old 14-12-2012, 08:57 AM
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weve not had this issue as yet moving up the country.........but have heard similar stories of others moving in and trying to change the world to thier view.

apparently one silly fcuker invited the locals to a cheese and wine party........then told them all how it was going to be, oh how they laugh about it.


what goes around comes around they say, just ignore the fcuker, he will not be good for your new chilled country life.


And Im sure you have notced by now that 20 tons of scrapping or hoggin or what ever you call it down your way dont go far. Following local advice up here, we scrappped all the grass off first, goes much further that way.

We have done 120 tons so far, and its now quite usable, and the big waggons for deliveries can get in. well the ones who are not so stupod they try to turn round in a ditch.



fortunatley for him my neighbour has abig 4x4 tractor
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Old 14-12-2012, 02:13 PM
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Get on google and your local library. Find all sorts of obsure ancient laws and start seeing if you can have any mischief therein. Check maps of the area going back a few centruires. You're bound to have a right of way through his flowerbeds, or be able to drive geese through his shed or practice archery on his driveway every 3rd wednesday of the month.
Or perhaps you could suggest his residence as a site for fracking?
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Old 14-12-2012, 07:51 PM
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Just keep an eye out and when he's next noseying up his ladder.......

Kick the f*cker away......Taadaa.....
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