My thoughts on the countryside.

slob · #1 17-07-2007, 09:06 AM

another blatent plug for the motorsickle musings.

Country folk tend to accept the dangers and largely don't really notice the things us 'city slickers' do. Belting around a snaking B road at silly MPH at 07.45 and encountering a badger aint a pleasant thing! Actually it's uncomfortable for two reason: Number one your ar5e makes like it's going to vomit into your jockeys as you swerve to avoid it! Number two, badgers are actually 8 foot tall and carry knuckle dusters. the vicious bastads hunt in packs and nick anything that looks vaguely chrome plated, that includes chewing gum wrappers. Allright they are not 8 foot tall but, banking around a bend to see one badger is worrying. To see three carcasses is not so much a calamity for Brtitsh wildlife as a massive inconvenience to me.

Don't get me wrong i'm all for preserving the planet but, if I were to see a badger attempting to amble across a road i'd plant my carbon footprint right in it's harris. Nature is as much a pain the bum flaps as car drivers! Seriously, in the last week i've been accosted by dead badgers, swooped upon by stupid little brown birds and made to feel uncomfortable by an owl glaring at me! Not to mention losing traction to a flattened pile of horse cr@p, the dangers in the country far outweigh those of the city. The other thing about the country is that the locals are graced by impenetrable force fields that are invisible to the naked eye... at least that's what they think.

For some a reason, blind bends and high hedges obscuring your view are a licence to drive like a t1t. the cries of "ooo, arrrghhh" and "get orrrf moi laaaand" and "cum-by-yer" can be heard as the one eyed moronic yokles hurtle pass. This prevailing stupidity is not exclusive to car/lorry/tractor drivers.....oooohh nooo, local bikers on their shiny cbgixzr/600/750 plastic w@nker wagons see fit to overtake your cruiser on inappropriate bends while their engines whine at getting thrashed (woooo-weeeeeeee-hmmmmmmmm). Only for you to pass them in less than a mile because they are turning! Was there any need for it ? No, of course not but it's what the coyuntry does to you.

Now, I have borne witness to construction in inner London and let me tell you they are the tidyest and most considerate road users around. London builders actually wash the road when they have finished dragging the mud and detrious from the skips to the site and vice versa. Farmers on the other hand couldn't give a rats nuts what they leave behind them. My advice is sod the country and encourage the current trend in buidling on the green belt. As far as i'm concerned the sooner the green becomes black and grey, the sooner we have nice clean surfaces to ride on and a lack of cadavers to dodge!

- Slob the Eco warrior

slightlymuddy · #2 17-07-2007, 10:55 AM

country roads are fine if you remember that it is a working area so expect slow farm vehicles. animals don't follow the highway code, farmers can't be arsed to clean **** off the road, and theres frequently something unexpected round the next corner like cows, sheep even army tanks. we get hod loads of weekend warriors comming up here treating the roads like a race track, they have accidents then all bikers get accused of being witless wonders and more restrictions are put in place. enjoy the country roads but if you want to race go on a track.

GreatBritishRob · #3 17-07-2007, 11:13 AM

................

baldyshinehead · #4 17-07-2007, 11:31 AM

Well i thought it was funny

Sure it was writen to be funny too.

Worjorj · #5 17-07-2007, 11:53 AM

I believe the Gospel according to Slob is the way forward. Ne'er a truer word spake, as it says in the bible. (Dave, chapter 3, vs 7-14 as I recall)

GreatBritishRob · #6 17-07-2007, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baldyshinehead

Sure it was writen to be funny too.

It probably was and it's not anything personal against Slob but lets put what he said another way and add Chopper riders instead of sports bike riders, and put city instead of countryside etc etc. People are gonna get their backs up no matter what. Its funny how people opinions change over a couple of words. I didnt like it anyway, im a country boy and found it a load of patronising wank.
It was obviously posted here for a reaction, that is my reaction.

pyro · #7 17-07-2007, 12:17 PM

Rob, we are still experimenting, have you looked at the rest of the site to see the what the context might be?
Fair enough if you dont like that bit, but the majority seem to like it so far, we are not setting out to upset people although I think its inevitable considering we dont intend to pull any punches on some future articles.
I'll let slob explain that article himself or not as he wants.

Does anyone else feel the same way about it?
We do need people to give us feedback so we know what works and what does not. I'm not saying we will change anything, but having at least some reaction is better than none.
We seem to have had more feedback from Yanks in California who seem to have trouble believing that anyone rides in the rain....

GreatBritishRob · #8 17-07-2007, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pyro

Rob, we are still experimenting, have you looked at the rest of the site to see the what the context might be?
Fair enough if you dont like that bit, but the majority seem to like it so far, we are not setting out to upset people although I think its inevitable considering we dont intend to pull any punches on some future articles.
I'll let slob explain that article himself or not as he wants.

Does anyone else feel the same way about it?
We do need people to give us feedback so we know what works and what does not. I'm not saying we will change anything, but having at least some reaction is better than none.
We seem to have had more feedback from Yanks in California who seem to have trouble believing that anyone rides in the rain....

Ive removed my reaction Pyro, was a bit over the top mate. Its nowt to do with the site but i still think Slob's take on the countryside is a load of old tosh to put it politely.

pyro · #9 17-07-2007, 12:23 PM

No need to remove it, it was your first reaction and so be it.
Not a problem.

baldyshinehead · #10 17-07-2007, 12:23 PM

I do know what you mean Rob, but personally i havnt got a problem whoever they take piss out off. chops, sports bikes, bmw's or crossers.
As it says in 100% this month ( changed because i cant be arsed to look it up ), we are great at being able to take the piss outa ourselves and each other without taking offence

Or are we

GreatBritishRob · #11 17-07-2007, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baldyshinehead

I do know what you mean Rob, but personally i havnt got a problem whoever they take piss out off. chops, sports bikes, bmw's or crossers.
As it says in 100% this month ( changed because i cant be arsed to look it up ), we are great at being able to take the piss outa ourselves and each other without taking offence

Or are we

We should be mate but i bet there would be hell to pay if i took the piss out of trikes or billet barges. They aint my kind of thing, simple as. Trikes have their place for disabled bikers but even then they should be bike based. These car's with 3 wheels are just for people with no balance. bet that provokes a reaction but im doing no different to the people takin the piss out of sports bikes, dirt bikes etc if you see what i mean. Banter and a laugh is good if its a 2 way street but you gotta admit, it hasnt been.
I mean people take the piss out of my Triumph (fuck knows where this pink thing came from and i must admit its getting a bit boring nowadays). I laugh along and join in so its not like i aint got a sense of humour. Like i say, i just wish it was a 2 way street or stopped.

GreatBritishRob · #12 17-07-2007, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pyro

No need to remove it, it was your first reaction and so be it.
Not a problem.

I've just restricted it to the post mate, not the site. My fingers run away with themselves sometimes

Jus1 · #13 17-07-2007, 01:01 PM

is a good rant

- am a country boy n' all ... the countryside IS England to me

... but still the old "badger amble" does fill yer shorts fast dont it!!! .. heheheh .. been sideways on horse****e as well, on me chop and me sportsbike..tis my fault cause we KNOW the roads are full of crap, just like coastal roads ... fookin toilet they are n' all ..worse in the summer with all the .. "oh lets park there, oh no wait I'll park over there" ..caravan tastic etc etc.

Reading this reminded me of a trip with me mate to the Lakes, we wanted to see some of the other bike hangouts outside of our Boxhill,Newlands,Bury,Chelsea etc etc so we set off up Norf .. We Did the compasses and Matlock, the old Cat n' Fiddle chestnut and up to Devils Bridge a wicked time it was... I was chasing him through the top of the lakes on the Carlise border and he shot past a field of sheep ... which was ok, c'ept he was runnin a straight through V&H system (which did sound lovley) but it bolted the sheep who proceeded to jump straight into my path, dodging sheep at 60mph, dry stone walls either side, middle of the road covered in gravel - 10 fookin mins to unclutch my butt cheeks I swear it .... completley HIS fault ..but funny in hindsight.

think ya got some points, but rush hour in the countryside is a few badgers instead of the daily ... sorry mate, I didnt see you, dumb pedestrians on mobiles walkin out in front of ya, yanks in hire cars, not to mention the peelers and cctv etc etc

still though ......

pyro · #14 17-07-2007, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreatBritishRob

We should be mate but i bet there would be hell to pay if i took the piss out of trikes or billet barges.

ah....er there is one in the pipeline and a rant about disabled people too... PC...us..fuck off.

Yoda · #15 17-07-2007, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pyro

ah....er there is one in the pipeline and a rant about disabled people too... PC...us..fuck off.

Hurrah cant wait for that one. it had better be a good one or i will get the Disability council of Slovakia to sort you out

Fuck PC go for it

pyro · #16 17-07-2007, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yoda

Hurrah cant wait for that one. it had better be a good one or i will get the Disability council of Slovakia to sort you out

Fuck PC go for it

I'm not sure now, someone might complain.....

slob · #17 17-07-2007, 01:58 PM

Another rant Rob?

Yet you pull it before I can respond?

You then PM Pyro?

What next , chucking your toys and eaving the forum

How about re-reading this from the perspective of me nearly getting killed by three badgers in a row with tongue firmly in cheek. Your a big man Rob act like one and stop being precious.

devon-tony · #18 17-07-2007, 02:05 PM

LOL living in the country I experience the madness of country lanes every morning and evening

the funniest thing I ever had happen was come round a bend and hit a very large blue water butt in themiddle of the road, written on it in large letters was "caution mud on road" excellent idea and thanks to the farmer for the warning, but felt that there should have been a sign 50 yards before the corner "caution large blue water butt in the road!!"

my daughter goes to a very posh private school/nursery and to see the way the parents drive through the lanes on the way to it is mind boggling, brand new porsches and 4x4's bmw cabrios etc, and they hurtle round the bends, totally blind, and dont seem to care about other cars

GreatBritishRob · #19 17-07-2007, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slob

Another rant Rob?

Yet you pull it before I can respond?

You then PM Pyro?

What next , chucking your toys and eaving the forum

Great reaction there Slob. If you ask Pyro im sure you'll find out my i PM'd him.
I dunno why the fuck im supposed to keep my gob shut about stuff. Its not throwing my toys out of the pram (what a pissy patronising comment, usually made by people who dont like the fact that some people dont tow the line so they have to patronise it to make it easier to swallow), its commenting on stuff like others do but for some reason, i dont seem to be allowed the same freedom to say what i want.
The reason i pulled my comments were because i put to much in there. Your post was cack but i put it down as the site which was wrong of me and i knew straight away so pulled what i said. The site itself is good, your post is still cack.
The reason i pm'd Pyro was because he just happened to be on line. I well gladly send you the same post i sent to him.
Basically Slob, not everyone tows a certain line. You posted a rant which i think is cack so i reacted to it. Fair game in the real world but as i said before, this lack of 2 way traffic so to speak does piss me off a little. Its not spitting my dummy or throwing my toys out of the pram, its me not towing the line cause i dont agree.

Changeling · #20 17-07-2007, 02:31 PM

Badger says.....

Grav · #21 17-07-2007, 02:33 PM

Anyone want some popcorn?

GreatBritishRob · #22 17-07-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grav

Anyone want some popcorn?

No Grav cause it aint gonna be anything to see. For fucks sake, Slob, you have a PM mate. This is the kind of thing im on about. Others well make this into something its not now.

slob · #23 17-07-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreatBritishRob

Great reaction there Slob. If you ask Pyro im sure you'll find out my i PM'd him.
I dunno why the fuck im supposed to keep my gob shut about stuff. Its not throwing my toys out of the pram (what a pissy patronising comment, usually made by people who dont like the fact that some people dont tow the line so they have to patronise it to make it easier to swallow), its commenting on stuff like others do but for some reason, i dont seem to be allowed the same freedom to say what i want.
The reason i pulled my comments were because i put to much in there. Your post was cack but i put it down as the site which was wrong of me and i knew straight away so pulled what i said. The site itself is good, your post is still cack.
The reason i pm'd Pyro was because he just happened to be on line. I well gladly send you the same post i sent to him.
Basically Slob, not everyone tows a certain line. You posted a rant which i think is cack so i reacted to it. Fair game in the real world but as i said before, this lack of 2 way traffic so to speak does piss me off a little. Its not spitting my dummy or throwing my toys out of the pram, its me not towing the line cause i dont agree.

Not quite sure you are making your point there Rob. You thought the post was cack...fair enough. You have taken it a personal slurr against you... Not a rant by the way Rob refer to my previous post and read it again...

For some reason you have an inferiority complex which you regularly vent on here with. We know you don't 'tow that certain line' Rob, we know you used to be a skin head, we know you see yourself as different.... so what's the problem?

You don't like it fine.. opinions are just that. So how about some suggestions instead of chucking your toys? btw i'm not interested in your PM to Pyro, that's your business.

have a really nice fun filled day tearing about on the traily shouting at the local gimp dressed 'bikers' "I Don'tTowyour lineeee........." as you whizz past on your back wheel

Grav · #24 17-07-2007, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreatBritishRob

No Grav cause it aint gonna be anything to see.

*takes the settee and wanders off..........*

GreatBritishRob · #25 17-07-2007, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slob

Not quite sure you are making your point there Rob. You thought the post was cack...fair enough. You have taken it a personal slurr against you... Not a rant by the way Rob refer to my previous post and read it again...

For some reason you have an inferiority complex which you regularly vent on here with. We know you don't 'tow that certain line' Rob, we know you used to be a skin head, we know you see yourself as different.... so what's the problem?

You don't like it fine.. opinions are just that. So how about some suggestions instead of chucking your toys? btw i'm not interested in your PM to Pyro, that's your business.

have a really nice fun filled day tearing about on the traily shouting at the local gimp dressed 'bikers' "I Don'tTowyour lineeee........." as you whizz past on your back wheel

Never said at all that it was a personal slur against me, i said im sure others well think the same in my previous post. Its fuck all to do with an inferiority complex either. Read you PM and you'll know what im on about.
Oh, if you wasnt interested in my PM to Pyro then why did you mention it????????
Again you seem to be trying to patronise me and my thoughts. I dont feel inferior in any way shape or form and its got fuck all to do with the fact i used to be into the skinhead side of things. I just simply did'nt agree with your post then so i get some tripe about i well be spitting my dummy now and then you'll get the inevitable sheep jumping on the band wagon.
Ive said it a few times now Slob, it was nowt personal, i just didnt like what was said.
You know what im getting at, i know you do.

GreatBritishRob · #26 17-07-2007, 02:56 PM

Oh, heading off on a tangent. Get some stickers made up for the site. I can advertise it then when i do the Cambrian Enduro etc and then maybe even add a little write up and pic's if you like

Dougie · #27 17-07-2007, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slob

How about re-reading this from the perspective of me nearly getting killed by three badgers in a row with tongue firmly in cheek.

You lucky bastid!I've never even seen a DEID badger,never mind 3 live ones........

slob · #28 17-07-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dougie

You lucky bastid!I've never even seen a DEID badger,never mind 3 live ones........

they weren't dead until they tried mugging me!!

Freak · #29 17-07-2007, 03:41 PM

Fucking city bikers shouldn't be allowed on country roads
YOU JUST GET IN THE WAY
Stick to the blue roads will ya

slob · #30 17-07-2007, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freak

Fucking city bikers shouldn't be allowed on country roads
YOU JUST GET IN THE WAY
Stick to the blue roads will ya

yeah right... your location says it all " In the same Farmhouse for 14 generations with NO OUTSIDERS" shpould add " and not a lot of genetic differences between mothers fathers brothers and sisters. Cos they are all the same person