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Old 09-02-2018, 06:58 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,389
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I had my lunch outside a supermarket yesterday, or as the Italians call it...
"Al Tesco"

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Last night I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.
He wasn't happy about it.

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Morrison's are doing a Valentine's Day Meal Deal for one this year.
It's a 9" Pizza, a litre of Vodka, and 48 Paracetomal.

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Everyone is going on about how well Kylie Jenner did to hide her child for that long.
I think Gerry and Kate McCann won that one.

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the Winter Olympics: giving white people a chance to win at sports that no black people can afford to learn.

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My girfriend has been working out a lot recently.
For instance, today she worked out that I've been shagging her sister.

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Camila Parker Bowles goes into the butchers and says "You've got a horses head in the window?"
The butcher says "That's a mirror".

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As a child my parents played Madness & The Specials all day every day.
It was horrendous.
They proper Ska'd me for life !!!

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Wife asked her Husband for £10,000 to get a Gastric band fitted
He said "Here's a fiver, get a padlock for the Fridge"

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Donald Trump's wife has offered to give up her pubic hair, so Husband, Donald can have a much needed transplant.
A top American Surgeon said,"This is a first; we've never transplanted hair from one cunt to another, before".

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