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Old 14-12-2017, 05:48 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,842

Naked man arrives at a fancy dress with a girl on his back
"I'm a turtle" he says
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies


Last year I left my Christmas shopping too late and ended up getting it all done at a petrol station on Christmas morning.
I thought the limited selection would leave me in the shit but my 17-year-old daughter squealed with delight when she opened her ‘L’ plates and ran over to hug me.
I don’t know why she went out to look on the driveway though.


A man's life is like a lush, green meadow.
It's a beautiful thing until some cow comes along and shits all over it.


Our young son has been crying a lot at night, so my wife asked me to go out and get a baby monitor for him.
But he seems even more freaked out now with the big lizard crawling all over him...


I'm not sure what's worse.
Women who make you try and figure out what's bothering them?
Or the women who actually tell you.


What weighs 8lbs and won't be plucked this Christmas?
At this rate, Chris Rea's guitar.


Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
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