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Old 15-11-2017, 03:25 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,766
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I think it's terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated the cyclists caught up with the allegations and wrong doing regarding taking drugs whilst competing.
When I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.

.................

I told my mum I'd opened a theatre.
She said, 'Are you having me on?'
I said, 'I'll give you an audition but I'm not promising anything.'

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I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction.
My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'

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Two kids are playing football in a park in Manchester, when one of the kids is suddenly attacked by a huge rottweiler, luckily the other kid finds a plank of wood and shoves it in the dogs collar and twists it and breaks the dogs neck!
A man also in the park witnesses this and says to the kid, "That was amazing! I'm a journalist for the Manchester Evening news, I would like to write an article about what just happened."
He starts writing a headline, "United fan saves friend from dog", the kid says, "I'm not a United fan."
He starts again, "City fan saves friend from dog." The Kid says, "I'm not a City fan."
The journalist asks, "Who do you support then?" The kid answers, "Liverpool."
The journalists starts again, "Scouse bastard murders family pet in cold blood!"

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There's a Scottish,Irish and Welshman on a beach.....
Watching the World Cup!

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"I think I'm a psycho," I said to the doc, "I like men's willies."
He smiled and winked at me, "I like them too."
"Oh good," I replied, "do you want to come see my collection."

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Me and the Mrs had Marmite sex last night, I loved it,she hated it.

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I’ve just lost my job for constantly asking women if they like it up the arse.
Does anyone know other hospitals looking for a colonoscopist?

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I've just been headhunted for a job as an explorer in Papua New Guinea.

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Son: Hi dad, I want to tell you something but I'm afraid that...
Dad: Go on son you can tell me anything, you know that
Son: I'm a transgender
Dad: I HAVE NO SON!
Son: Great! I knew you'd understand!

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