100% Biker & Trike Magazine Forums

Go Back   100% Biker & Trike Magazine Forums > 100% Biker > Down The Pub

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 29-06-2017, 03:18 PM
tetlee tetlee is offline
Chat Slapper
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
Default I'll just mention in passing...

If you are on a running machine in the gym and a lady in a brief leotard gets on the machine next to yours, do not be tempted to glance sideways at the jiggly bits...
It's possible to tread on the non moving section and end up getting spat off and collecting a friction burned knee off the spinning rubber track on the way.
Just sayin'...
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 29-06-2017, 09:01 PM
Strider Strider is offline
Billy No Mates (only virtual ones!)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Little Lever, Bolton
Posts: 1,178
Default

Two questions ...........

1. What is a gym?
2. What is this "running" machine you speak of?
__________________
When shit hits the fan, I've learnt it will not be evenly distributed !!!!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 29-06-2017, 10:12 PM
tetlee tetlee is offline
Chat Slapper
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
Default

A gym is where instead of doing any exercise, spotty youngsters sit around poking their fancy telephones to see if anyone likes them on farcebook, and old geezers like me go just to work at keeping our joints from seizing up.

A Running Machine a device where poxy dogs can't chase me like they do if I run on the street.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 30-06-2017, 06:20 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,182
Default

What you really mean is it's a place where old gits like you go to watch jiggly bits whilst falling off trundle machines hoping said owner of jiggly bits takes pity and helps you to your feet?
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 30-06-2017, 07:10 AM
Biker Buster's Avatar
Biker Buster Biker Buster is offline
It's about time I shut the fuck up!
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Near Glasgow
Posts: 1,694
Default

A gym, is that the place with all of the chocolate vending machines in the lobby?
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 30-06-2017, 08:22 AM
tetlee tetlee is offline
Chat Slapper
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
Default

" a place where old gits like you go to watch jiggly bits whilst falling off trundle machines "

Ha! No such luck in this gym, it's a grotty unfashionable place and only used by a few Burger monster ladies, and decrepit 'ol gits like me trying to stay alive. She must of wandered in by mistake..

No chocolate machines Buster, just 'Energy Bars'... Machine's been there a while though, it's the home of many spiders and the stuff inside is price tagged at 1/6d each.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 30-06-2017, 09:01 AM
strima's Avatar
strima strima is offline
Type like a Twat Me...
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: St Neots, with the pointy heads...
Posts: 956
Default

You spelt bar wrong.
__________________
The best part of you ran down the crack of your mothers arse!!!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-07-2017, 07:32 PM
miniondave miniondave is offline
Chat Virgin
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: nottinghamshire
Posts: 34
Default

Amateur.
If you can't use a running machine without falling off while watching jiggly bits then you should give up the machine and go to a step aerobics class instead.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-07-2017, 08:09 PM
tetlee tetlee is offline
Chat Slapper
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
Default

That is probably good advice, although to be fair it is a rare event for any ladies worth ogglin' to appear in my gym. I fear many appear to have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down..Just to give an idea of the place, they sweep the changing rooms out once a year and clean up all the fag ends and Big Mac wrappers. Still at least one of the six showers works...sometimes. But it is cheap... The clientele are definitely not dedicated gym rats by a long shot, most are office workers who come in during their lunch breaks. They perch on the apparatus and make 'phone calls or sit poking their 'phones to see who loves them. Then they can't work out why they are still waddling even though they 'go to the gym' twice a week.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 02-07-2017, 03:45 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,182
Default

Definately sounds more like a perverted sex club to me......
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 02-07-2017, 11:02 AM
tetlee tetlee is offline
Chat Slapper
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
Default

Ha! Strange you should say that Friar T, I used to go to a posh gym in town but some members spent more time hanging around in the showers than they did in the gym. I noticed one bloke always followed everyone into the showers, so I told him I'd fill him in if he followed me. He complained and they feckin' banned me!!
So it's the cheap gym and falling off the runners for me...
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 02-07-2017, 11:06 AM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,618
Default

I'm going to start a gym in the new year, you will pay a years subscription and after a month it will be converted into a bar, then you can tell everybody you go to the gym every night........
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 02-07-2017, 01:10 PM
tetlee tetlee is offline
Chat Slapper
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
Default

Sounds like a brilliant business idea to me. If you do bacon sarnies and refrain from playing that rap crap music, sign me up for membership.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-07-2017, 05:26 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,182
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok View Post
I'm going to start a gym in the new year, you will pay a years subscription and after a month it will be converted into a bar, then you can tell everybody you go to the gym every night........
Wot he means he'll charge you an entry fee to the public bogs...
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-07-2017, 05:29 AM
Friar Tuck's Avatar
Friar Tuck Friar Tuck is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,182
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tetlee View Post
Sounds like a brilliant business idea to me. If you do bacon sarnies and refrain from playing that rap crap music, sign me up for membership.
Funny you should say that. His taste in music is err...go listen to earworm thread. And if he offers you bacon sarnies...beat a hasty retreat! That's all I'm sayin'.....
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-07-2017, 10:25 AM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,618
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck View Post
Funny you should say that. His taste in music is err...go listen to earworm thread. And if he offers you bacon sarnies...beat a hasty retreat! That's all I'm sayin'.....
Most of the music on my playlist is stuff I like but some was put on to entertain passengers, very little rap though, lots of oldies, weirdies and rock....

Most of the rap tht I do have is older stuff not the bling bling crap you have now.....
__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.