
29-06-2017, 03:18 PM
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Chat Slapper
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
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I'll just mention in passing...
If you are on a running machine in the gym and a lady in a brief leotard gets on the machine next to yours, do not be tempted to glance sideways at the jiggly bits...
It's possible to tread on the non moving section and end up getting spat off and collecting a friction burned knee off the spinning rubber track on the way.
Just sayin'...
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29-06-2017, 09:01 PM
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Billy No Mates (only virtual ones!)
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Whitefield, Manchester
Posts: 1,244
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Two questions ...........
1. What is a gym?
2. What is this "running" machine you speak of?
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When shit hits the fan, I've learnt it will not be evenly distributed !!!!
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29-06-2017, 10:12 PM
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Chat Slapper
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
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A gym is where instead of doing any exercise, spotty youngsters sit around poking their fancy telephones to see if anyone likes them on farcebook, and old geezers like me go just to work at keeping our joints from seizing up.
A Running Machine a device where poxy dogs can't chase me like they do if I run on the street.
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30-06-2017, 06:20 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,980
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What you really mean is it's a place where old gits like you go to watch jiggly bits whilst falling off trundle machines hoping said owner of jiggly bits takes pity and helps you to your feet?
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Does my belly look big in this?
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30-06-2017, 07:10 AM
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It's about time I shut the fuck up!
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Near Glasgow
Posts: 1,725
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A gym, is that the place with all of the chocolate vending machines in the lobby?
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30-06-2017, 08:22 AM
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Chat Slapper
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
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" a place where old gits like you go to watch jiggly bits whilst falling off trundle machines "
Ha! No such luck in this gym, it's a grotty unfashionable place and only used by a few Burger monster ladies, and decrepit 'ol gits like me trying to stay alive. She must of wandered in by mistake..
No chocolate machines Buster, just 'Energy Bars'...  Machine's been there a while though, it's the home of many spiders and the stuff inside is price tagged at 1/6d each.
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30-06-2017, 09:01 AM
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Type like a Twat Me...
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: St Neots, with the pointy heads...
Posts: 976
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You spelt bar wrong.
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The best part of you ran down the crack of your mothers arse!!!
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01-07-2017, 07:32 PM
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Chat Virgin
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: nottinghamshire
Posts: 36
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Amateur.
If you can't use a running machine without falling off while watching jiggly bits then you should give up the machine and go to a step aerobics class instead.
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01-07-2017, 08:09 PM
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Chat Slapper
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
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02-07-2017, 03:45 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,980
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Definately sounds more like a perverted sex club to me......
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Does my belly look big in this?
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02-07-2017, 11:02 AM
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Chat Slapper
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
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Ha! Strange you should say that Friar T, I used to go to a posh gym in town but some members spent more time hanging around in the showers than they did in the gym. I noticed one bloke always followed everyone into the showers, so I told him I'd fill him in if he followed me. He complained and they feckin' banned me!!
So it's the cheap gym and falling off the runners for me...
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02-07-2017, 11:06 AM
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Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,267
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I'm going to start a gym in the new year, you will pay a years subscription and after a month it will be converted into a bar, then you can tell everybody you go to the gym every night........
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02-07-2017, 01:10 PM
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Chat Slapper
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: south coast uk
Posts: 70
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Sounds like a brilliant business idea to me. If you do bacon sarnies and refrain from playing that rap crap music, sign me up for membership.
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03-07-2017, 05:26 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,980
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Ewok
I'm going to start a gym in the new year, you will pay a years subscription and after a month it will be converted into a bar, then you can tell everybody you go to the gym every night........ 
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Wot he means he'll charge you an entry fee to the public bogs...
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
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03-07-2017, 05:29 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Brothertoft, Lincolngrad!
Posts: 11,980
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tetlee
Sounds like a brilliant business idea to me. If you do bacon sarnies and refrain from playing that rap crap music, sign me up for membership. 
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Funny you should say that. His taste in music is err...go listen to earworm thread. And if he offers you bacon sarnies...beat a hasty retreat! That's all I'm sayin'.....
__________________
Does my belly look big in this?
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03-07-2017, 10:25 AM
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Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,267
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Friar Tuck
Funny you should say that. His taste in music is err...go listen to earworm thread. And if he offers you bacon sarnies...beat a hasty retreat! That's all I'm sayin'.....
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Most of the music on my playlist is stuff I like but some was put on to entertain passengers, very little rap though, lots of oldies, weirdies and rock....
Most of the rap tht I do have is older stuff not the bling bling crap you have now.....
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