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  #1  
Old 30-05-2016, 03:24 PM
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Default It makes you wonder.

This morning at around 5.30am, a 55yro biker, local to our area lost his life.
He rode his bike down a straight road, crossed a junction and into a hairdressers. He was riding in access of 80mph, the bike & rider went through the outside wall, and through at least 2 internal walls. We can see where it happened from our front door.
It makes you wonder what drives someone to a point that they would feel this was the only option.

RIP
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Old 30-05-2016, 05:51 PM
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It's tragic when anyone feels this is the only option.
We had a self employed man in his late 50s who decided he couldn't go on reported in the local papers.
He was due at a job early in the morning but he didn't arrive. His wife phoned the police who then found his van parked at a local reservoir and he wasn't in it.
Well we could work out the rest.
His body turned up days later in the water.
I guess he just couldn't handle it anymore.

Strange how us older blokes get no help or support.
I've known two older guys who fell off the system and ended up homeless and dying. You don't seem to exist as a particular group to get any help?
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Old 30-05-2016, 05:55 PM
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Life gets tough sometimes and then you find you're on your own....
Happened to me in 2003. 18 months after a bad smash with lifetime injuries I walked out on my wife and kids.
18 months of no sleep and chronic pain I became inhuman. Not safe to be around anyone.
So I became homeless and it's very easy to die (again) from there.
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Old 31-05-2016, 05:50 AM
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The main thing is you found a way back, ok life maybe a hell of a lot different but you are still managing to live it.
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Old 31-05-2016, 06:44 AM
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The main thing is you found a way back, ok life maybe a hell of a lot different but you are still managing to live it.
I certainly do Friar because I am not a quitter.
But I understand that some people can't handle their lives and seem to think thats the best option.
I believe life is a gift and its not up to you to decide when the game is over.
Life is a big game and its knowing that that helps.
We play the game and we laugh like hell at the idiocy of all of it.
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Old 31-05-2016, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Philxs11 View Post
This morning at around 5.30am, a 55yro biker, local to our area lost his life.
He rode his bike down a straight road, crossed a junction and into a hairdressers. He was riding in access of 80mph, the bike & rider went through the outside wall, and through at least 2 internal walls. We can see where it happened from our front door.
It makes you wonder what drives someone to a point that they would feel this was the only option.

RIP

What a tragedy.
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Old 31-05-2016, 05:15 PM
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It's tragic when anyone feels this is the only option.
Strange how us older blokes get no help or support.
I've known two older guys who fell off the system and ended up homeless and dying. You don't seem to exist as a particular group to get any help?
We had a 16 year old lad staying here as a lodger, he was with us 6 years and then he got a council flat. Shortly after that he got married to a much older woman and moved into her house. Two months later he was dead, he hanged himself.
We heard later that the had problems and she had told him to get out - his friends asked if he'd move back in with us but he told them we didn't have room. We did have a vacant room and would have had him back here, we loved that boy, but he never contacted us.
It wasn't a matter of lack of support with him, he just didn't tell anyone how bad he felt.

I'll never forget him because I never told him that I loved him as if he were my own because I knew he was trying to rebuild a relationship with his mum. I was wrong and I'll never cease to regret it, now I always tell people how much I love and value them.

Sorry for the long story but this thread touched a nerve.
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Old 31-05-2016, 08:18 PM
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Today, very regrettably, I heard some details about this. All I will say is, he wasn't wearing a helmet, and the two people who witnessed the immediate aftermath (both where on scene within a minute) will be seriously mentally scared for years. I know I would have been !
(I grew up in NI, and I've wrhnessed some nasty scenes)
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Old 01-06-2016, 03:24 PM
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And there's the reason !
The guy had been in a physiatric ward in the local hospital, despite both his daughters (18 & 19) insisting he wasn't ready, the hospital discharged him to free up beds.
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Old 01-06-2016, 04:14 PM
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And there's the reason !
The guy had been in a physiatric ward in the local hospital, despite both his daughters (18 & 19) insisting he wasn't ready, the hospital discharged him to free up beds.
More crimes to add to lay at our governments door.
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Old 01-06-2016, 04:22 PM
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We had a 16 year old lad staying here as a lodger, he was with us 6 years and then he got a council flat. Shortly after that he got married to a much older woman and moved into her house. Two months later he was dead, he hanged himself.
We heard later that the had problems and she had told him to get out - his friends asked if he'd move back in with us but he told them we didn't have room. We did have a vacant room and would have had him back here, we loved that boy, but he never contacted us.
It wasn't a matter of lack of support with him, he just didn't tell anyone how bad he felt.

I'll never forget him because I never told him that I loved him as if he were my own because I knew he was trying to rebuild a relationship with his mum. I was wrong and I'll never cease to regret it, now I always tell people how much I love and value them.

Sorry for the long story but this thread touched a nerve.
I understand your thinking that it would be better if he got back with his mum. We have a similar situation but hopefuly with a better ending. Two friends of ours are getting married. The parents are opposed to the marriage and are refusing to take part. So I have been asked to stand in. This is all because it is a lesbian relationship. I dearly hope the parents get sensible and the real father walks his daughter down the aisle. If not and I hope this makes you smile, I may have to walk both girls down the aisle.
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Old 01-06-2016, 06:51 PM
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We had a 16 year old lad staying here as a lodger, he was with us 6 years and then he got a council flat. Shortly after that he got married to a much older woman and moved into her house. Two months later he was dead, he hanged himself.
We heard later that the had problems and she had told him to get out - his friends asked if he'd move back in with us but he told them we didn't have room. We did have a vacant room and would have had him back here, we loved that boy, but he never contacted us.
It wasn't a matter of lack of support with him, he just didn't tell anyone how bad he felt.

I'll never forget him because I never told him that I loved him as if he were my own because I knew he was trying to rebuild a relationship with his mum. I was wrong and I'll never cease to regret it, now I always tell people how much I love and value them.

Sorry for the long story but this thread touched a nerve.
I read every word BG and I know what you mean.
I've tried to live my life without creating any regrets but its not always possible. The collateral damage of things that happen in your life anyway is fairly widespread. But I can't change the past and what happened happened, everyone moves on.
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Old 02-06-2016, 12:36 PM
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I understand your thinking that it would be better if he got back with his mum. We have a similar situation but hopefuly with a better ending. Two friends of ours are getting married. The parents are opposed to the marriage and are refusing to take part. So I have been asked to stand in. This is all because it is a lesbian relationship. I dearly hope the parents get sensible and the real father walks his daughter down the aisle. If not and I hope this makes you smile, I may have to walk both girls down the aisle.
It always amazes me that parents cannot accept who their children have become, especially if it doesn't fit into their way of thinking or lifestyle.... Good on you for helping to make their day one to remember.

My lady befriended a homeless guy who was camping in the local woods. She then found out that he was a brilliant painter and decorator and she used him to decorate her house and then took him in as a lodger. His big problem was alcohol and every penny he earned went on drink. We got him loads of work and I ran him around to his jobs in the car and he was doing well. He moved out of my friends house to live with a mate and the drinking got out of hand, he then fell for a woman that lived close by. He asked her if she would go out with him and she said no. Two hours later he hung himself in the woods nearby. We arranged for his funeral (on the council, as he was penniless) and got all his mates from the pub to attend. Later we took his ashes home to Scotland and scattered them in Bishop's Glen. He was a funny guy and a hard worker, just a shame that he was so fragile......
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Old 04-06-2016, 10:18 AM
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It always amazes me that parents cannot accept who their children have become, especially if it doesn't fit into their way of thinking or lifestyle.... Good on you for helping to make their day one to remember.

My lady befriended a homeless guy who was camping in the local woods. She then found out that he was a brilliant painter and decorator and she used him to decorate her house and then took him in as a lodger. His big problem was alcohol and every penny he earned went on drink. We got him loads of work and I ran him around to his jobs in the car and he was doing well. He moved out of my friends house to live with a mate and the drinking got out of hand, he then fell for a woman that lived close by. He asked her if she would go out with him and she said no. Two hours later he hung himself in the woods nearby. We arranged for his funeral (on the council, as he was penniless) and got all his mates from the pub to attend. Later we took his ashes home to Scotland and scattered them in Bishop's Glen. He was a funny guy and a hard worker, just a shame that he was so fragile......
Another sad story, but you gave him a 2nd chance and also some happy times.
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Old 04-06-2016, 02:12 PM
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That's right, at least you were there for them for a while.
I've done the same myself. It costs nothing to be a friend and treat just them as human beings. To be someone's rock for a while is priceless to them.
But everyone is on their own path towards their own destiny.
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Old 05-06-2016, 12:07 PM
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That's right, at least you were there for them for a while.
I've done the same myself. It costs nothing to be a friend and treat just them as human beings. To be someone's rock for a while is priceless to them.
But everyone is on their own path towards their own destiny.
Very true, you may be able to keep their ship off the rocks for a while but if they are determined or just too fragile to survive, then there is nothing you can do but delay the inevitable.
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Old 05-06-2016, 08:43 PM
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Makes me wonder.....
My head just went here... appropriate maybe.
Respect.

https://youtu.be/9Q7Vr3yQYWQ?list=PL...KT6LJaRGQwAb34
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Old 18-06-2016, 05:31 PM
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I snapped.
I lit the blue touch paper, and retired immediately.

Then sat back, took MANY deep breaths, and waited for the shit to hit the fan.
I wasn't disappointed.
With hindsight, perhaps the gallon of napalm used to light the touch paper was a shade over the top, but A. I was irked, B. I've never played well with being ignored, or with people takin the piss, & C. I'm originally from Belfast, so I'm prone to be a bit 'direct'.

This needs some groundwork.
I need to make this clear right from the start, I'm NOT looking for sympathy, if I wanted that I'd look in a dictionary, between Shit & Syphilis. This is purely to highlight failings in the system.

Depression, while not 'part' of MS, it is a common 'add on' to MS. I've never been happy with any of the direct, or indirect effects of MS, but I've never been embarrassed by, or had a problem talking about any of those effects. I've been on 'mad meds' for depression for 5-6 years, and on the max dose (for what I'm taking) for 2-3 years. Around a month ago the juggling act that had been ongoing for 8 years went tits up and the whole very complex house of cards (mixed metaphors) collapsed round me. It got rapidly worse from there. The hard truth is this, I'm out of fight, and I'm bored fighting, I've nothing left to fight with. I'm empty, and I've been running on fumes for years. MS has taken everything, my relationship, my identity, and left me hollow. I'm an outline, nothing more. It has broken me.
On a personal level, I don't give a flyin fck about the above, like I said, I'm bored with it all now, I've no longer any interest in it, it can crack on. What I do care about is, Lynda having to deal with the fallout of the above. It wasn't, and isn't pretty.
Wednesday lunchtime Lynda phoned the GPs surgery to book a phone consultation with the GP. She chose a call to save taking up an actual surgery appointment. As my GP had left for the day a call was booked for the next day, most likely the afternoon, but if an appt was cancelled the GP may phone in the morning. Thursday morning, Lynda didn't go into work so she could take the call. 5 pm came, no call. Lynda phoned the surgery, and was assured she'd get a call before 6.30pm. During this call, Lynda had told the receptionist she was concerned about the risk of self harm. (She WASN'T & there ISN'T !) 6.24pm she phoned the surgery again, it rang until it was cut off, she immediately phoned back, same thing. Redialled, answering machine !
Lynda then spent the next hour emailing all the appropriate people/authorities detailing the above & her complaints (the GPs surgery was CCd in all the emails) and making it quite clear, that if something wasn't done by lunchtime Friday, she would be walking away, (on a care front) Again, this WASN'T/ISN'T going to happen, but she was desperate, and was getting fcked around.
9am Friday morning Lynda got a call from the MS support nurse, who told her she'd contacted the GPs surgery at 8.30am.
10am still nothing from the GP, Lynda phoned the surgery. The phone ran unanswered until it cut off, 3 times, Lynda was clearly getting distressed, (and I was getting 'irked') and then got a call re the complaint.
I then phoned the GPs, with the intention of handing the phone to lynda if I got thought. It rang until it cut off, this just irked me further. I phoned back, this time it was picked up, receptionist answered, then immediately started talking to someone else.
I snapped.
When Lynda finished her call, I simply said, "I've lit the blue touch paper"
My phone call went as follows
Surg. Hello, (then spoke to someone else)
Once she got back to the call
Me. Now that your concentrated on this call ! This is Phil Millar. (Knowing shit will have hit the fan by this stage.)
Surg. Ah, Mr Millar, (I cut her off at this point)
Me. I'd advise getting a doctor to phone urgently before something stupid happens. I hung up at that point.
Like I said, this isn't for me, I'm over it, but I won't except a lack of support for Lynda.
The touch paper had been proper set on fire !
Less than ten minutes later, Lynda got a call from the GP, and after a 10 minute call, the relevant details/concerns had been addressed, and the appropriate steps would be put in place.
15 minute after that call had finished, 2 members of Medway Police turned up !
They'd been contacted by the surgery. Once all of the above had been explained to them, they cancelled the ambulance that had also been dispatched.
I apologised to the 2 young coppers, for the unnecessary waste of their time, (genuinely, the WPC looked like she'd been called out of her school maths exam to attend, and she'd been dispatched to attend on her own, the bloke had heard the radio message and decided to attend as support) I expressed my slight shock that the police would be sent out to deal with a mental health issue. I mean, I'm bloody sure that's not what they signed up for, and not something they're trained to deal with ! They said it was very regular, and they DO get some very basic guides to help deal with an increasing number calls like this. They told us they where being used as a stop gap for local authority mental health teams !
All in, that involved, The complaints agency, who have started a full investigation into this, MS support nurses, care agency, who will be contacting my case worker, 2x single crewed patrol cars from Medway plod, and an ambulance.
All this could have been avoided by a phone call on Thursday night, even if it was only to say, sorry the doctor had to leave, but they'll phone first thing tomorrow.

2 questions.
How much has that lot cost the taxpayer.
And more importantly, for how many people, would that one day delay, have been too fckin late.

I don't actually who's at fault, I don't care if the receptionist didn't pass on the message. Don't care if the receptionist didn't pass on the urgency of the call. Don't care if the doctor didn't have time. Don't care if the doctor forgot. I don't even care that 'the system' failed me.
What I do care about is, there IS a fault, it failed Lynda, and it can fail more vulnerable people, and for them, the outcome could be much more dire.
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Old 18-06-2016, 11:34 PM
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There is no care left in the NHS.
I am one of those difficult patients who asks questions
I have no trust left for medical professionals.
First time in my life I walked out of hospital in 2014.
They'd almost killed me again so I thought that's it I'm off.
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Old 19-06-2016, 12:00 PM
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There is no care left in the NHS.
I am one of those difficult patients who asks questions
I have no trust left for medical professionals.
First time in my life I walked out of hospital in 2014.
They'd almost killed me again so I thought that's it I'm off.
Personally speaking, apart from the nigh on impossibility of getting a doctors appointment in under a month, I have never had a serious complaint Re. the NHS. As many know on here in 2011 I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and from beginning to end the service was fantastic. I asked questions and got direct answers, even the first colonoscopy, which diagnosed my condition they did not pull any punches. The person who did it, don't remember his title, told me that in his experience a tumour as large as mine ( I named him Tubby the Tumour) was definitely cancerous. The surgical team did a fantastic job and the nurses were as good as they could be considering the staffing levels available. I have now been in remission for 5 years and they say if you stay clear for 5 then there is a lot less chance of a recurrence.

I do hate it though as philxs11 says when they let5 down the family and carers, without them the NHS would be sunk, not thanks to Dave and his Eton Mafia.
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Old 19-06-2016, 03:28 PM
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I'm very glad to hear you had a good experience Sir Ewok.

I wish mine and my little ladies medical experiences had been good in the last 10 to 15 years. I have met some very decent Doctors but they are rare now, I can count them on 1 hand.
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Old 20-06-2016, 10:06 AM
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I'm very glad to hear you had a good experience Sir Ewok.

I wish mine and my little ladies medical experiences had been good in the last 10 to 15 years. I have met some very decent Doctors but they are rare now, I can count them on 1 hand.
The biggest problem is the poor funding of the NHS by both major parties and it will not get better any time soon. It is an unfortunate fact that they want to get rid of the 'Free' health service and privatise it so their mates can make a fortune out of it by way of insurance rip offs as are common in the US. The forcing of dodgy contracts onto junior doctors is only the tip of the iceberg and they have suppressed the inquiry that set out safe staffing levels for wards and continue to run them in a manner, that if it was a private business, they would get shut down. I have nothing but admiration for the doctors and nurses on the front line (especially the guy who had to clean up after my impacted bowel let loose) who do their best with minimum staff, piss poor wages and long hours. I'm sure that all 0of us here have had good and bad experiences but most of the bad are due to the cut, in real terms, of government funding.
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Old 20-06-2016, 10:17 AM
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Privatasing the NHS has always been the Tory agenda since way back.

I don't have a problem with the hands on staff, the majority are very good, its the consultants who are taking the piss generally.
My partners neurologist has resorted to selling snake oil to help his pension fund grow no doubt. But she's no fool and soon found out this fake cure has no value at all in independent tests ie: tests not paid for by the company who makes it.

I have no respect for Doctors from my own experiences, with the odd exception which I can count on one hand.
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