Thread: joke of the day
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Old 21-02-2018, 07:20 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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I went into a vegan restaurant as I was told the menu was quite tasty.
Well to be fair, it was a bit cardboardy, but it was still better than any of the shit that was on it.

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Does anyone know if Oxfam are recruiting?

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KFC Runs Out Of Chicken.
Must be a slow news day. Now if I ever see the headline Chicken Runs Out Of KFC, I'll pay some attention.

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“Our Grandparents fought Nazis so we could be called Nazis for believing what our Grandparents believed.”

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The woman at the job centre said, "You're always late, you ignore the queue and you are really rude."
I said, "What's your point?"
She said, "Have you thought of becoming a bus driver?"

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My missus has just taught the car a new trick, she got it to roll over yesterday.

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Did you know ... the letter H looks like a Frenchman in the war.

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Brexit to cost £2 million a week
Jose Mourinho wants to sign him for Manchester United.

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I don't know what all the fuss is with arranged marriages, I spent 6 months arranging mine and it went alright.

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I took a dip in the pool earlier.
Stupid really, as I got a load of water in my hummus.

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"'Dirty meat': Shocking hygiene failings discovered in US pig and chicken plants"
I don't believe anything this newspaper says. How are we expected to take them seriously when they think a chicken is a plant?

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.

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The new Justin Bieber video has amazing 3D.
It's almost like you could just reach out and punch him.

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