Thread: joke of the day
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Old 11-02-2018, 12:54 PM
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As I lay in bed I was gently nodding off when I felt a warm hand slip inside my boxer shorts and gently start to caress my balls. It was very nice, but I wasn't in the mood. "Not tonight" I said "I'm tired."
"It fucking doesn't quite work like that in here" said my cellmate.

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My mate said, 'Who's your favourite solo artist?'
I replied, 'The Bee Gees'.

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This Valentine's Day, I will almost certainly be inundated.
Sorry. *In, undated.

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2 Yanks are on holiday in Amsterdam and visit a brothel. "Have you got a fat bird with no teeth, a heroin addiction and a minge like a vandalised bus seat?" they ask...."Fuck you boy's are really kinky".. says the madam..
"Are we fuck" they say "We're just looking for our mum!"

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My Hotdog stall at the Winter Olympics is going well.

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Did you hear about the Irishman who thought that a cortisone injection was a sports car.

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I got a call on the radio from the head of my battalion, he said, "we're under heavy fire, we need more ammo."
"Hang in there, " I told him, " I'm only a few clicks away! "
Unfortunately, they all died before I could get there, but I wasn't going anywhere until I'd completed that rubix cube.

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I got a call from my sister in Australia yesterday. She told me my nephew has got himself addicted to heroin.
He's really shot up since I last saw him.

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Having a fetish is nothing to be ashamed of, unless your fetish is being totally humiliated then you are a dirty little pervert.

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