Thread: joke of the day
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Old 31-12-2017, 01:30 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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I took my wife to Scotland to see if we could spot the Loch Ness Monster. We were only there for a couple of minutes when I noticed something in the water.
"There it is!" I shouted. "There's something fucking horrible looking right at us."
"That's my reflection," said my wife.

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"Diana!" I said greeting my Mother-In-Law as she walked through the door...
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah, I know."

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I see an American police swat team has killed an innocent man outside his house. Expect a week of protests, followed by rioting and looting........Oh, maybe not. This bloke was white.

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What do you call a woman who talks too much after sex?
A taxi.

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Whenever I see a respected actor in panto I always like to shout 'It's beneath you!

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Storm Dylan?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind.

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If I travel through time and have sex with my past or future self, would that be gay? Or just an elaborate form of masturbation?

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It's two years since Lemmy died, so as a tribute to him we should all have a minute's noise.

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My missus went to have some hair extensions put in yesterday.
It put me right off when she came home and I could see them dangling beneath her skirt.

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