Thread: joke of the day
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Old 30-12-2017, 06:27 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 8,568
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I'm going to a deodorant party tomorrow...
Roll on Saturday

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I went to the cemetery yesterday and laid some roses on my wifes grave.
Just the coffee flavoured ones though I like all the others.

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"I take it you're from America madam."
"You condescending arse, just because I'm a little overweight you assume I'm American?"
"No madam, this is Tesco and we don't sell guns."

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On his last tour of Ireland , the Pope was asked what he thought of County Down .
" I preferred it when Carol Vorderman was in it " , he replied .

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Got arrested for racial assault because i tackled this Indian man to the floor.
I was only protecting him from a sniper.
Lucky for him i saw the laser sight before the guy took one in the head...

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Raising your voice: The next best thing to being right!

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" Margaret Thatcher refused to travel in plane with Giant Panda"
If I remember correctly , it was the other way round.

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Three words that sum up the honours system...
Sir
Jimmy
Savile

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