Thread: joke of the day
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Old 29-12-2017, 06:17 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Just bought Cluedo: Swingers Edition,
Turns out they all did it........in every room!

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I went to the pharmacy this morning and asked for 50 condoms.
The girl winked at me and said, "Oh, someone has a busy weekend ahead of them!"
"I know," I said. "I'm making a raincoat for my pet snake."

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It's so cold tonight my nipples are the same size as my cock.

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Played the new ‘Monopoly - NHS Edition ‘ at Christmas. The game abruptly ends in bankruptcy when someone lands on Chance, and gets the card that says, ‘Each player must pay hospital car parking charges.’

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My missus isn't speaking to me anymore, just because I didn't open the car door for the bitch.
Well, to be honest, I panicked and swam like fuck to the surface.

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If you eat your cake fast enough, your Fitbit thinks you're walking..

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Kodak and Durex..... they both capture that special moment.

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My wife asked me to buy her clothes for Christmas. She said, "Make sure you buy them in a size 12"
Judging by her face she doesn't likes her shoes.

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I went through three magazines on a train yesterday.
I'd killed a dozen people by the time they wrestled the gun off me.

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