Thread: joke of the day
View Single Post
  #1336  
Old 28-12-2017, 06:58 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,892
Default

Old MacDonald had tourette's.
E-I-E-I TWAT

................

I used to get so excited about French lessons!..
Sometimes a little "oui" would come out.

.................

An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

.................

So, Virgil van Dijk is off to Liverpool for 75 million.
I wonder if his Scouse accent will be as accurate as his dad's Cockney in Mary Poppins.

.................

My wife and I were out for dinner celebrating our anniversary.
"Who do you think I need to speak to about getting rid of this genital wart?" I said to her over a bowl of soup.
"I didn't know you had one of those" she replied. "When did you discover that?"
"My third spoonful. I thought it was a crouton"

.................

I got sacked from my job with the Samaritans today.
Who would have thought having Muds "Lonely This Christmas" was inappropriate hold music.

..................

I always wanted to join the mile high club but couldn't afford an airline ticket.
So I filled my sex doll with helium.

..................

Facebook game requests are like the jehovah's witnesses of the internet

..................

__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote