Thread: joke of the day
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Old 25-12-2017, 09:39 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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We've just played the Christmas edition of Cluedo.
The wife murdered Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven!

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Paddy gets arrested for beating his wife
The judge asks "why do you keep beating her"
Paddy replies "I think it's my weight advantage, longer reach and superior footwork.

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Look at all the sad cunts logging onto here on Christmas day...oh wait!

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Last night, I found a young homeless girl hidden among the bins.
She was dirty and smelled horrible, but I knew under that grime was a pretty girl.
I took her in and bathed her, as I toweled her down I became aroused.
One thing led to another and before I knew it I was frantically fucking her on the bathroom floor.
At one point I was banging her so hard, that you'd think she was still alive...

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What do you say to a Pakistani on Christmas Day?
20 Bensons & a pint of milk, please?

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Jesus was in a foul mood after shagging his new girlfriend for the first time.
She asked: "What's up with you?"
Jesus replied: "Oh, nothing... It's just really fucking annoying to hear a bird scream your dad's name while she's having an orgasm."

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Well that's embarrassing,My father walk in on me fucking a bird last night,He's not talking to me now because he says the Turkey's ruined!

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Christmas tip - Don't ask the lesbian couple next door if you can borrow their turkey baster.

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I was directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene.
Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing theater needs, others that I ruined the nativity.

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For Xmas I got a great self help book, I think itís going to do wonders for my sex life , itís titled Ď Menís guide to getting Tits and Pussy whenever you want ití by Caitlyn Jenner

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