Thread: joke of the day
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Old 21-12-2017, 07:30 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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With Paul Clement gone, this is now the third December in a row that Swansea have sacked their manager.
Some people will do absolutely anything to avoid buying a Christmas present.

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After seeing those cute puppies on the Andrex advert, I decided to get the kids one for Christmas.
I can't wait to see their excited little faces when they open up their extra-soft toilet roll.

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I'm looking for volunteers for Help for Heroes.
Cadbury need help filling the other three-quarters of the fucking tub.
(And if you like this joke (or not), please donate a few quid to the real Help for Heroes this Christmas - they have my total respect.)

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Jose Mourinho says he can't think of any other year when Manchester United suffered so many injuries.
Twat!!
What about the year of the fucking Munich Air Disaster?

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What do you call a Russian with Tourettes?
Yukanol Fukov

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Government to update sex education classes, to cover topics like sexting, online porn, and everything else kids might need to become an MP......

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It was Xmas Eve and I could hear faint Latin rhythms and long guitar notes coming from behind the fireplace.
Santana was stuck up the chimney.

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Dear Deirdre,
When I was 16 and got an erection, I could not bend my cock with both hands!
I'm now 73 and can bend it with one, does this mean I'm getting stronger?

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Donald Trump has just passed massive tax cuts for the rich.
Confirming that 'Trickle-down' economics is where the 1% piss all over everyone else.

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Damian green.
Late night five knuckle shuffle leads to cabinet re-shuffle .

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What do you call a body bag in the ghetto?
A gangster wrapper.

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It is that time of year again for the tradition of drunk people stuffing their hands up a fat bird's arse.
Or is that just our works party?

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