Thread: joke of the day
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Old 16-12-2017, 05:37 PM
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Can't believe they fired me from the clock factory, after all the extra hours I put in.

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I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board.
I thought, I'll give it a go.

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Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with 5,000 Turkeys. A spokesman for the gang said, "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted!"

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I've just appeared in my first gay panto and by fuck you don't half know about it when he's behind you.

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It didn’t matter how many times I said ‘focus’ to my wife while she was practising her reverse parking.

She still hit it.

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
The candle burned dimly the light was quite naff
It made it quite hard to burgle the gaff.

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"Desperate search continues for missing Daniel, 15, not seen for days"
I gather he left on a plane last night.

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My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get in.
That's how small my cock really is.

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It will be January soon.
The time of year when everyone joins the gym for two weeks.

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