Thread: joke of the day
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Old 28-11-2017, 08:02 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Prince Harry says he doesn’t want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding.
Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a fuck, he's still going!

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At this time!..

80 million people are having sex,
95 million people are kissing,
35 million people are relaxing after sex,
1 lonely sod is reading this!, hang in there mate!

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I offered my nan £5 for a go on her stair lift.
I thinks she’s going to take me up on it.

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My horoscope said my ex would pop up, I've been down the canal all day and thankfully there was no sign of her.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.

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Prince Harry has got engaged to Miss Markle.....!!!!
I love those Agatha Christie stories, maybe she can solve The Great Paris tunnel mystery....

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The wife and I are inevitably heading for a divorce and she's saying that she's going to make sure to leave me with a balance of £0 in my bank account !
This sure is nice of her, agreeing to pay off my overdraft.

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I hear Prince Harry is going to marry Angela Merkel.
I think he's possibly selling himself a little short with his choice, but if it makes Brexit go a little smoother, why not?

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"Six Brit soldiers jailed in India on weapons charges since 2013 could soon be free after winning appeal"
I've heard it all now. Soldiers thrown in jail for possessing fucking weapons.

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This morning a gay dude asked me for directions and threatened me when I told him to go straight.

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My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

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The great thing about having multiple personalities is that a wank turns into an orgy.

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Strange that when you have a cold, your friends and family tell you to 'Get well soon'.

But tell them you accidentally have a toilet brush up your arse and they don't want to know you.

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