Thread: joke of the day
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Old 26-11-2017, 12:53 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,775
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I used to be addicted to eating soap.
But Iím clean now.

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I took the Mother in Law out the other night.
I love being a sniper.

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Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

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Dear Students & Poppy burning Muslims.
Sorry I could not attend your demonstrations last week. This was due to me having to work for a living.

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I knew a really slutty Roman girl who kept shouting "509! 509!"
Turns out she really likes DIX...

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I was in an important meeting when my secretary came in to tell me I had a phone call.
"Is it urgent Tina?" I asked.
"No, it's from Huddersfield." She replied.

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"After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'."

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A backing singer for Joss Stone has accused Sir Richard Branson of 'putting his face in her cleavage' leaving her feeling shocked.
I guess I would feel shocked as well to see 3 tits on my chest!

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If God was real, it would definitely be a man... if it was a woman it would have taken 6 days just to choose a colour scheme.

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My Mexican wife was always moaning that I don't show any willingness to accept her culture.
The hypocrite left me when I sacrificed our first born son to Huitzilopochtli.

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