Thread: joke of the day
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Old 21-11-2017, 07:08 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,775
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Did you hear about the dyslexic gynecologist?
He wants to look at your vinegar.

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Women your husband is the best person to tell your secrets too!
He won't tell anyone because he wasn't even listening in the first place.

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I went fishing today with my two friends...
Rod & Annette.

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Chris Rea - it's five weeks until Christmas.
Get your fucking car serviced this year.

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Imagine The Titanic with a lisp.
It's unthinkable.

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Spitting Image is being rebooted in America featuring Donald Trump as a puppet.
Vladimir Putin is suing because he thought of it first.

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Don't leave Christmas preparations until the last moment.
Start getting depressed now.

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There once was a brickie from Kent
Whose son told him "daddy I'm bent"
"I'll curb your desire"
Said the brickie, with ire
Then he filled up his arse with cement

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After hearing recent news reports that Big Ben won't be doing anymore bongs for 4 years, a spokesman for Snoop Dog has said "the star admires the man's willpower."

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Judging by the state of my Tesco "bag for life" I've got only about a week left.

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I looked out on the destruction: smashed windows, cars turned upside-down, a bus on fire, people running scared, police unsure what move to make...
I turned to the wife and said, "Chin up darling, you did your best, but maybe I should park the car!"

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