Thread: joke of the day
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Old 19-11-2017, 01:40 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Over 90% of people over 60 believe that we show less respect to others than we did in the past.
Silly old fuckers!

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If Hitler was a sea creature hed be Adolfin.

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What do you get if you cross a pelican and a zebra?
Two streets further away.

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My kids keep on taking the piss out my alzheimers.
Wait till the cheeky little buggers wake up on Christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire.

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David Cassidy is in a coma and people are being warned to expect the worst.
Oh No, they must be going to re-release his music.

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At the barbers today, I asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise.
So he gave me a cushion to sit on.

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'How To' videos on YouTube;

Because if there's one thing missing from a computer manual, it's bad dance music.

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Newton's third law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.

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Malcolm Young.
AC/Deceased.

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"David Cassidy 'conscious' after being hospitalised with organ failure"
That's a bit dramatic. Anyway, I thought he played the guitar.

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When I was a baby I was raised by wolves...
not the Animals, I just lived near the football stadium.

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My wife told me I was incapable of multitasking....
So I got drunk and embarrassed her at the same time.

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I overheard my girlfriend muttering to herself, "Love that one... Hate that one... Ooh, that one made me cry."
"Are you going through your DVDs again?" I asked her.
"No," she replied. "My dildos."

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After my recent prostate exam, which, I must say, was the most thorough I've ever had, the doctor left and the nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear. She said... "Who was that guy who just left?"

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