Thread: joke of the day
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Old 25-10-2017, 02:03 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,698
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After thirty seven years of marriage I've finally found my missus's G spot.
Who would have thought that her sister had it all along.

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If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I'm going to buy is a pot to piss in.
I've always wanted one of those.

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Im a scientist whos researching bestiality between humans and dogs.
Ill be in my lab.

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OMG i can't believe my wife has kicked me out JUST for measuring my penis. Just for the record, it reaches the back of her sister's throat..........

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I've started my own website which provides videos of people pissing on each other.
It's a streaming service.

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I've started jogging again but now I've realised that I've been in pretty bad shape for a long time.
When I ran past the cemetery, two blokes with shovels chased after me.

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Tess Daly?
If she was my bird, it would be Tess Hourly.

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A White House spokesman has described Donald Trump as a "fighter".
What?
Where was the draft dodging chickenshit when it came to a real scrap in Vietnam?

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News: US inmates offered shorter sentences for getting a vasectomy.
My attorney is trying to get my sentence reduced to the rhythm method.

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I was watching a sex show in Bangkok with my mate who's not easily impressed. A Thai girl came out and laid down on a snooker table. She opened her legs, fired a cue ball out and potted the black.
"Fuck me!" I said, "That takes some skill. Even you must be impressed with that."
"Not really," he replied, "If she'd put a bit of side on it she could have held position on the next red."

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