Thread: joke of the day
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Old 19-10-2017, 04:59 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,701
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"Boob"
"B" is the aerial view
"oo" is the front view and
"b" is the side view

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What's the difference between a man and a condom?
Condoms have changed... They're no longer thick and insensitive!

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Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

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This year I'm going to a Halloween party in Liverpool dressed as a job application form.

That should scare the shit out of everyone.

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My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure.
So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.

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You know it as it channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies.
I call it "Wank Roulette"

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I couldn't believe it when my 19-year old son won the lottery and didn't want to have anything to do with me when I rang to congratulate him.
His foster family have obviously raised him to be a right tight cunt.

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" Never put off til tomorrow what you can do today " is my advice to everyone. ..
And that's how I got sacked from the Samaritans.

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I've finally found something my wife's bum doesn't look big in.
The distance.

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What have Celtic, Theresa May, and 3 pin plugs got in common?
They're all fucking useless when it comes to Europe.

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Life is like a box of chocolates.
If you hesitate, you end up with a shit one.

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How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?
We're on our sixth.

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