Thread: joke of the day
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Old 17-10-2017, 05:26 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
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I live for my alarm clock collection.
It's what gets me up in the morning.

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Parenting tip. Find out which of your children are in the house by simply turning off the Wi-Fi.

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Some people see images of our lord and saviour in their toast. Some see him in the clouds. Now it seems to be in toilets.
Every time I have a shit at work I always hear the person who goes into the cubicle after me say, "Jesus Christ".

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My girlfriend just admitted that she used to be Christian, so I broke up with her. It might seem judgemental, but Iíve only known her since she was Christine.

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My girlfriend says she doesnít trust me.
I guess thatís just one more thing she has in common with my wife.

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Susan Boyle has leapt to the defence of Harvey Weinstein stating ďI met him four times in Hollywood to discuss movie scores and he never laid a finger on me !!

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Canít seem to get my Gary Glitter Tribute Act up and running.
I should probably have focused more on his musical career.

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Why is the Storm Ophelia so dangerous?
Because it's first name is Paed.

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I have spotted a pattern to when England win the World Cup.
It is every 900 years after the Battle of Hastings.

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So Ed Sheeran has broke his arm and can't play the guitar, Shame he didn't break his vagina, might have stopped him being a cunt.

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