Thread: joke of the day
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Old 14-10-2017, 05:17 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,766
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Where do vegetarians go on holiday?
Quornwall.

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My husband is going to a fancy dress party tonight as a Rastafarian and hes asked me to do his hair.
Im dreading it.

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While digging a hole today, I found a box full of old five pence pieces.
I couldn't hold back my excitement, and I ran indoors to tell the wife...
And then I remembered why I was digging the hole.

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I got home last night and said to the Mrs; "I can't believe it, I've just seen the Crystal Palace team playing football with a hedgehog".
"Sick bastards", she replied.
"It's ok", I said, "the hedgehog was 4-0 up".

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Two deer were leaving a gay bar.
One turned to the other and said, 'Man, I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there.............'

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I see Crocs are making a comeback.
Just like pubic hair and racism.

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Does anyone know if the Arachnophobia Helpline has a website?

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I took my wife dogging and she got attacked by a pack of Alsatians.

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and global warming? People still care about global warming.

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I was teaching my wife how to drive today.
I said, "You're on the wrong side."
"No, I'm not," she yelled. "I'm still on the left."
I replied, "Yes, but we're upside down."

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