Thread: joke of the day
View Single Post
  #1256  
Old 13-10-2017, 06:25 PM
Sir Ewok's Avatar
Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,764
Default

I consider any Friday that I'm in work an unlucky Friday.

...................

Baa baa black sheep,
Shit hes got a gun!
"Allahu Akbar!"
Everybody run!

...................

My wife has just said she needs to give our little collie something to make her sick because she is coughing a lot with a trapped fur ball in her throat.
"Cook her a meal, " I said.

...................

I don't mean to brag, but I've got a really nice bum.
I Found him asleep in a box behind Tesco's.

....................

Every time I post a joke about paedophiles it gets taken off. It's starting to piss me off.
The CBeebies website is shit.

....................

More bad news for Harvey Weinstein.
Bill Cosby just unfriended him.

....................

Religion?
Faith is the boast of the man who is too fucking lazy to investigate.

....................

The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD Pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.

....................

I had such an unpleasant experience with Ryanair that I found myself crying mid-flight.
Cunts charged me 80 quid emotional baggage.

....................

I beat the shit out of a Black belt kick boxer this morning....
Apparently it's nothing to brag about if shes only 12.

....................

Religion? The only business that promises dividends only after the death of the stockholders.

....................

I was watching the news, with my blonde wife tonight. There was a demonstration by some tree huggers, about the impact of wind farms on the countryside. "Fucking idiots." I moaned. My wife said, "Well I agree with them, I think it's cruel to farm wind, it should be left to roam free, as nature intended."

.....................

My doctor said I should consume more fruit, so I've bought over a hundred quid's worth of grapes.
A case of vintage Cabernet Sauvignon.

.....................

__________________
Been riding for 40 years and my arse is really sore
Reply With Quote