Thread: joke of the day
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Old 08-10-2017, 02:17 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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John Major has told Tories to show Teresa May "loyalty."
A bit like he showed his wife whilst fucking Edwina Curry.

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Experience has taught me not to hit on any girl wearing a ring.
It just gets you thrown out of the pool and called a paedo.

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I've just had to change my relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' after breaking both of my wrists.

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In the four hours it took before the police announced the London Museum traffic incident wasn't a terrorist attack, how many fuckin' mugs rushed out to buy a stack of balloons and scented candles?

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What's the difference between Lewis Hamilton and Hitler?
Lewis Hamilton can finish a race.

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It's my birthday today and off my wife, I got a long slow blow job.
I didn't have the heart to tell her I got the same from her sister.

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Had my Brummie friend round last night for a few drinks. "You want to watch a film?" I asked.
"Yeah ok." She replied.
"What about Titanic?" I said.
"What's that about?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said. "A fucking big one. Struck an iceberg and sank."

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On the way home from the pub last night, I found the instructor from my Karate club at the pavement edge struggling to get to his feet. He had a broken nose, two black eyes and a broken arm. I helped him up and said, "Wow mate I thought you were a black belt." he said "I am but it doesn't work against cars."

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