Thread: joke of the day
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Old 03-10-2017, 04:32 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Roy Hodgson just drove past me at about 100 mph, no seatbelt on, beeping his horn...... He'll do anything for 3 points!

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Jurgen Klopp the worst pool manager since Michael Barrymore.

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"No possible way to stop mass shootings," says the only nation on earth that regularly has them.

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I got my head kicked in at school today.
I told my dad he'd been touching me in his office.

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I went to a country music festival in Las Vegas, And all I got was this bloody t-shirt.

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An Israeli arrives at Heathrow (not on Monarch of course)
"Name" asks the customs officer
"Avi Mayer" replies the Israeli
"Occupation?" Continues the customs officer
"No, just visiting" replies the Israeli.

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What's the difference between a Muslim that kills 58 people and a white man that kills 58?
Ones a terrorist, ones a mass shooter.

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The Islamic council of America have condemned the actions of the Las Vegas shooter.
Apparently it's cultural appropriation.

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Brevity: the force that keeps a toasted sandwich from flying into space.

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I can't tell whether my girlfriend is kinky or just a nutcase.
She shaved her pubes as part of my birthday present...
But wrapped them up.

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