Thread: joke of the day
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Old 27-09-2017, 12:42 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Just opened my first present of the day!
Yorkshire pudding mix!
Thanks Aunt Bessie.

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If you rearrange the letters of "Postmen", they get very annoyed.

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Apparently Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac once turned down a marriage proposal from William Shatner.
She didnt want to be known as Stevie Shatner-Nicks.
And if Isla Fisher had married Barry White, she would have been Isla White.
Then if she divorced him and married Bryan Ferry, she would be Isla White - Ferry.!

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Got banned from Laser Quest today.
They didn't like it when I used a knife to save ammo.

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What did Freddie Mercury and Colonel Gaddafi have in common?
They both died after some fellas entered their sewage pipe.

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When you see someone praying after a disaster.
Who are you praying too , the God who did this tragedy , or the one who refuses to do anything about it ?

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I put a picture of my slap up tea on facebook and within minutes I got hundreds of friend requests.
All from Ethiopia.

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I think my Dog maybe smarter than me.
He understands several words and commands, and yet I don't understand a single bark ? ....

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An article in The New Scientist suggests that a small nuclear war on the Korean peninsular could actually reverse the effects of global warming. ..............and for most of our neighbours that seems to be an awful lot easier for them than sorting the rubbish into the right bins!

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Welcome to the Alzheimer's Information Website.
Please enter your 15 digit password.

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Why do elephants drink so much?...to help them forget!

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Welcome to Feng Shui club, and I'm very happy to accept the position of the chair.

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I was getting undressed in front of my new blonde girlfriend, I dropped my underpants and she said. "I thought you told me that you had at least a foot" "No, I said that I'd got Athletes Foot"

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The star of Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Melissa Joan Hart, has admitted in her autobiography that she had experimented with lesbianism and hallucinogenics. It explains a lot really. . . . . .
I always wondered why she lived with two 'Aunts' and used to talk to a cat.

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Jeremy Corbyn:
The finest left winger since Ryan Giggs.

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"Go and have a look at the size of the shit I’ve just done in the bathroom!” I said to my wife.
“No thanks,” she replied.
“Please, just one quick look,” I said, “You won’t believe it.”
She pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, “There’s nothing down there, you must’ve flushed it.”
I said, “It’s on the scales.”

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"Did I come out of mum's tummy?" asked my son.
"Yes, mate," I said. "I know it's hard to believe but, five years ago, that's where you were."
He looked at my missus slouched on the settee. "Dad? Are there still some people in there?"

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