Thread: joke of the day
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Old 24-09-2017, 12:04 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,756
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I was looking for a new flat, and found a nice place in the centre of town that seemed ideal.
"It's only 600 a month," the woman told me. "But no children or pets."
I had to turn it down. It was a bargain but I wasn't willing to give up my sex life.

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I came home late last night and my wife noticed some scratches on my neck. "What the fuck's been going on?" she yelled, "Been shagging another woman, have we?" "Of course not," I protested, "It's from my mate's cat." "Oh, well that's alright then," she said. I just don't understand that bitch. Sleeping with other women is frowned upon, but fucking a cat is acceptable?

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Whenever my wife says we need to talk I counter with "let's have sex, then talk."
Checkmate!

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Mrs Browns Boys is to be remade for the Pakistani market.
Mrs Patels brown boys will be aired in the spring.

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They say nothing last's forever.
Try wanking over Susan Boyle.

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The best thing about being schizophrenic is that it turns a wank into an orgy.

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What's red and hangs from a cunt?
Donald Trump's tie!

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My son was playing on one of his video games and he screamed he'd just won a life.
I thought how ironic.

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Trumps says any player that doesn't stand for the National Anthem should be fired .. This is coming from the coward who dodged the Army draft 5 fucking times ? ..

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