Thread: joke of the day
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Old 21-09-2017, 01:28 PM
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Sir Ewok Sir Ewok is offline
Talk, Type, Breath, Talk, Type, Breath....
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wherever I damn well Please
Posts: 7,604
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Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don't work out.

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Nothing ruins your Friday like finding out it's only Thursday.

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I've been married to my wife ten years today!
Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication.
I don't know how she does it.

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What do Butlins and Liverpool FC have in common?
Both of their seasons end in September.

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My mate just phoned me to tell me he had changed his name by deed poll to spinal column.
"Can I call you back?" I asked.

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Merseyside.
The only place in England where you can be labelled a Paedophile for shagging someone's mum.

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The upside to living in a famine ravaged, war torn country.
You can stand on a land mine and don`t weigh enough to set it off.

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I caused a bit of a scene at my summer barbecue when I told my next door neighbour Abdul that his wife was cheating on him.
She wasn't, but I needed my rockery moving.

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So on my first day as a crane driver I had to lift some portaloos to the top floor of the construction site.
I'm taking shit to a whole new level ..

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Stalking is when two people go on long, romantic walks together.
But only one of them knows about it.

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I took the shell off of my racing snail thinking it would make it go faster.
If anything it made it more sluggish.

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