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Search: Posts Made By: Sir Ewok
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 05:22 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
They had to get a translator in at the benefits...

They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today.
Some cheeky cunt came in speaking English.

..............

We could sort out the obesity problem with children if paedophiles...
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 04:56 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
Had a lot of good stuff between the two of you,...

Had a lot of good stuff between the two of you, agree about Emelie Sande. Gonna have to change the pace......:cool:

https://youtu.be/RZ2oXzrnti4

https://youtu.be/V8177D8D7Lo
...
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 04:40 PM
Replies: 3,935
Views: 203,280
Posted By Sir Ewok
Made rose hip sherry which was judged to be very...

Made rose hip sherry which was judged to be very good by the old country boys I worked with. Sherry needs to be exposed to the air, unlike most wines and if you use a gallon demijohn, you only make 6...
Forum: Down The Pub 22-05-2018, 05:04 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
If I had a ten pound note for every gender... ...

If I had a ten pound note for every gender...
I'd have twenty quid and a shitload of fake money.

............

The Roma are doing well in the World Athletics Championships.
They`ve taken the...
Forum: Down The Pub 22-05-2018, 04:37 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/Zu0tt20UJag ...

https://youtu.be/Zu0tt20UJag

https://youtu.be/8oOtz6mE7sM

https://youtu.be/IasCZL072fQ
Forum: Biker Chat 22-05-2018, 04:31 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 122
Posted By Sir Ewok
With modern medicine and emergency treatment, too...

With modern medicine and emergency treatment, too many are surviving and polluting the gene pool......:rolleyes:
Forum: Down The Pub 21-05-2018, 05:19 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
I'm taking part in the Hillsborough triathlon...

I'm taking part in the Hillsborough triathlon today!
Football, squash & fencing.

..............

I felt really patriotic and nostalgic after the royal wedding. It was the first time the UK had...
Forum: Down The Pub 21-05-2018, 04:47 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
Never thought much of Elvis, turned into a show...

Never thought much of Elvis, turned into a show tune singer, as for King of Rock'n'Roll....Bah! Chuck Berry was better than him.....

https://youtu.be/4jIMg-exlFs

https://youtu.be/KLVq0IAzh1A
...
Forum: Biker Chat 21-05-2018, 04:39 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 122
Posted By Sir Ewok
There are also the CUNTS.... Can't Use Normal...

There are also the CUNTS.... Can't Use Normal Trafficlights, who like to sail through junctions on RED and swear at cars and bikes that are swerving and burning their tyres to avoid them. Cyclists...
Forum: Biker Chat 21-05-2018, 04:35 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 1,322
Posted By Sir Ewok
I go to a small garage with an old boy, a member...

I go to a small garage with an old boy, a member of the 200 mph club and owner of around 15 classic Japanese bikes. Cheap, even free sometimes and very rarely fail. Small things like bulbs and such...
Forum: Down The Pub 20-05-2018, 05:33 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
Womens lonely hearts ads, and what they really...

Womens lonely hearts ads, and what they really mean;

Adventurous = Slag
Athletic = No tits
30 something = 50 odd
Fun = Annoying
Wild = Gets pissed easily
Beautiful eyes = Face like a robbers...
Forum: Down The Pub 20-05-2018, 04:49 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
Every so-often music will just wither and either...

Every so-often music will just wither and either hark back to former days or head into a musical dead end, like some of the 90's stuff......

The 50's was full of tragic songs.....
...
Forum: Biker Chat 20-05-2018, 04:43 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 113
Posted By Sir Ewok
Very nice, mate! Feeling jealous........:cool:

Very nice, mate! Feeling jealous........:cool:
Forum: Biker Chat 20-05-2018, 04:42 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 122
Posted By Sir Ewok
Only ever drove on the pavement, deliberately,...

Only ever drove on the pavement, deliberately, twice. First time a car pulled out of a junction and completely blocked the road, so I managed to squeeze onto the pavement. Second time a group of mods...
Forum: Biker Chat 20-05-2018, 04:38 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 1,322
Posted By Sir Ewok
Kwikfit would as they often removed all wheels to...

Kwikfit would as they often removed all wheels to check brakes, even though you wanted only one tyre. They would then tell you can't drive away and that they are not giving you your keys back till...
Forum: Down The Pub 19-05-2018, 04:37 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
The best part of being a pathological liar is...

The best part of being a pathological liar is having an 11-inch cock.

..................

I was talking to a guy from Belfast last night and he told me that he was a member of the lemon order....
Forum: Down The Pub 19-05-2018, 04:04 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
Always loved the sitar intro to hole in my...

Always loved the sitar intro to hole in my shoe.......

https://youtu.be/A2xwwkX2T4c

https://youtu.be/W_6d2IYBbM0

https://youtu.be/7b2T8K2D-ps
Forum: Down The Pub 18-05-2018, 05:41 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
The male gypsy moth can smell the female gypsy...

The male gypsy moth can smell the female gypsy moth from a distance of 7 miles away.
The above sentence is also true if you remove the word "moth".

...................

It was only after I...
Forum: Down The Pub 18-05-2018, 05:06 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
Your mate's wrong, Prince Philip does.....:D ...

Your mate's wrong, Prince Philip does.....:D

https://youtu.be/RvTvSSztu50

https://youtu.be/6lWT8sK7PBI

https://youtu.be/zRIbf6JqkNc
Forum: Down The Pub 18-05-2018, 04:58 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 64
Posted By Sir Ewok
I prefer the BBC to The Rupert Murdoch and his...

I prefer the BBC to The Rupert Murdoch and his biased crap. I do understand your view but, for myself, I enjoy a bit of telly. Don't watch news or political programmes anyway.......
Forum: Biker Chat 18-05-2018, 04:55 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 122
Posted By Sir Ewok
Never travel the same route every day as you get...

Never travel the same route every day as you get too used to it and make mistakes or take chances when inappropriate.
Forum: Down The Pub 17-05-2018, 05:47 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
‘Meghan Markle's sister suffered a 'broken ankle...

‘Meghan Markle's sister suffered a 'broken ankle and fractured knee' following a 'confrontation' with paparazzi’
Looks like Prince Philip has fired his first warning shot across the bow.
We all...
Forum: Down The Pub 17-05-2018, 04:44 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
Must admit the Slade one was new to me... You...

Must admit the Slade one was new to me... You learn something new every day. As for Venus in Blue Jeans, they used to play that at the Saturday morning cinema and none of us kids knew what it was...
Forum: Down The Pub 16-05-2018, 04:15 PM
Replies: 1,482
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 148,268
Posted By Sir Ewok
The word "duck" is not as popular as autocorrect...

The word "duck" is not as popular as autocorrect believes.

...............

If a psychologist became a hip hop artist does it make their music "shrink rap" ?

...............

Prince Harry's...
Forum: Down The Pub 16-05-2018, 03:48 PM
Replies: 1,231
Views: 18,499
Posted By Sir Ewok
When I was a lad........:rolleyes: ...

When I was a lad........:rolleyes:

https://youtu.be/hRQg9DCkkxs

https://youtu.be/MzpShIhvrjU

https://youtu.be/SXQXVWtAxSw
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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