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Search: Posts Made By: Sir Ewok
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 05:21 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
As we landed in Pakistan the pilot announced...

As we landed in Pakistan the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"
I thought to myself how the fuck do I turn it back to the 12th century?
...
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 04:46 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
Be careful, having too many anti-virus programmes...

Be careful, having too many anti-virus programmes can cause them to malfunction (at least most of those I've had have said so). Blink 182 was a bit of a surprise, I just liked the song, never seen...
Forum: Down The Pub 18-08-2018, 05:43 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
Aretha Franklin arrives in Heaven and starts...

Aretha Franklin arrives in Heaven and starts singing.
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me!"
"To you." Replied Barry Chuckle.

............

"Do you like the new dildo rail?" asked my...
Forum: Down The Pub 18-08-2018, 04:57 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
I've had Ccleaner before and it's not bad, I use...

I've had Ccleaner before and it's not bad, I use AVG PC Tune Up which costs but does a hell of a lot more. Good luck with old computer for now, just do a defrag just before going out for the day, it...
Forum: Down The Pub 17-08-2018, 05:49 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
One great indicator that you're getting drunk is...

One great indicator that you're getting drunk is when you find yourself constantly dropping things, like your standards.

............

If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it.
It is...
Forum: Down The Pub 17-08-2018, 04:59 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
Have you defraged your computer and removed all...

Have you defraged your computer and removed all the cookies and temp files recently.....They slow your computer right down, also if you add and remove programs and files the registry calls for them...
Forum: Biker Chat 17-08-2018, 04:48 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 80
Posted By Sir Ewok
My dad neither drove a car or rode a bike but...

My dad neither drove a car or rode a bike but both his brothers did, I used to get rides round the block on the back of Bert's bike wearing his pudding basin helmet........:D
Forum: Down The Pub 16-08-2018, 06:22 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
I recently converted to Islam and have turned my...

I recently converted to Islam and have turned my house into a Mosque. It's been a great success so much in fact my neighbours have thrown a brick through my window so they can hear my call to prayer...
Forum: Down The Pub 16-08-2018, 05:43 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
HOS doesn't post as often as us, so you could...

HOS doesn't post as often as us, so you could ration his posts to 4 a day.....

https://youtu.be/Lo2qQmj0_h4

https://youtu.be/k1ljpLQ1V6Y

https://youtu.be/0HMAVU1k7kg
...
Forum: Down The Pub 15-08-2018, 05:44 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
Why not put Brendon Rogers in charge of Brexit? ...

Why not put Brendon Rogers in charge of Brexit?
He managed to get Celtic out of Europe in just 180 minutes.

..............

A manc and a scouser go into a bakery, the scouser pinches three iced...
Forum: Down The Pub 15-08-2018, 05:37 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
Nice way to describe the Friar......:rolleyes: ...

Nice way to describe the Friar......:rolleyes:

Like some of the Imagine Dragons stuff, especially that one....

https://youtu.be/pt-S5XMc91U

https://youtu.be/lD4sxxoJGkA

One for a former...
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 06:20 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
The driver in the Westminster crash fell asleep...

The driver in the Westminster crash fell asleep at the wheel.
He'd been driving round London for 4 days solid, trying to find a white person to run over.

.............

Fucking sneaky bastard...
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 05:37 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/j-fWDrZSiZs ...

https://youtu.be/j-fWDrZSiZs

https://youtu.be/E1PfIX-GQPk

https://youtu.be/cPoKjiMqmZs

https://youtu.be/bG74L0Rq7lw
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 05:31 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
I stop it by going into Task Manager (Control,...

I stop it by going into Task Manager (Control, Alt, Delete) and stopping the update. I also used AVG PC tune up and shredded the programme files. It keeps trying and failing to update and so restores...
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 05:27 PM
Replies: 4,320
Views: 214,221
Posted By Sir Ewok
You forgot to mention the high point of your...

You forgot to mention the high point of your trip.... Meeting me:eek:
Forum: Down The Pub 13-08-2018, 04:42 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
Looking forward to the next Bond movie, "The...

Looking forward to the next Bond movie,
"The Man With The Stolen Gun"

.............

Security is being reviewed just because someone stole a plane?.
I nicked a sander once and no one even...
Forum: Down The Pub 13-08-2018, 04:02 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/DvZ97ajpYOM ...

https://youtu.be/DvZ97ajpYOM

https://youtu.be/tDl3bdE3YQA

https://youtu.be/iyTQ97ckQSY

https://youtu.be/JPR108kwNo4
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:40 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
I hate it when my Scouse girlfriend gets changed...

I hate it when my Scouse girlfriend gets changed into her pyjamas...
...I don't know if she's going to bed or going shopping.

.............

My wife hates it when I go for a shit with the door...
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:17 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
True, I thought that was the most stupid casting...

True, I thought that was the most stupid casting ever. Anybody who has read only ONE Jack Reacher novel would know that a stumpy little dwarf was not the persona of the main character...... As for...
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:14 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/qr1bkbWKevE ...

https://youtu.be/qr1bkbWKevE

https://youtu.be/L3xpmfJp0Xc

https://youtu.be/v1fImXAeS-s

https://youtu.be/k5HfOipwvts
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:09 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 368
Posted By Sir Ewok
Tesco quoted me 1100 for an old Focus, you'd...

Tesco quoted me 1100 for an old Focus, you'd think I was a 17 year old learner. I went elsewhere and got it for 450......:mad:
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:06 PM
Replies: 4,320
Views: 214,221
Posted By Sir Ewok
Ah! Posh drain cleaner......:rolleyes:

Ah! Posh drain cleaner......:rolleyes:
Forum: Down The Pub 11-08-2018, 05:49 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques...

Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow, when it was recently visiting Dublin.
"Where did you get that from?", the expert asks.
"It's been in my loft for 40 years. I think it's an...
Forum: Down The Pub 11-08-2018, 05:15 PM
Replies: 1,442
Views: 21,255
Posted By Sir Ewok
You've now got.. Tomorrow Night and Touch Me In...

You've now got.. Tomorrow Night and Touch Me In The Morning....:eek:

https://youtu.be/L53aTgZ8B3Y

https://youtu.be/MAMVkXI3HTI

https://youtu.be/yTCDVfMz15M

https://youtu.be/2bqeSGpP9PI
Forum: Down The Pub 10-08-2018, 05:19 PM
Replies: 1,577
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,537
Posted By Sir Ewok
Still amazed that The Bible was so specific in...

Still amazed that The Bible was so specific in forbidding shops with 280 square metres of floor space to open for more than 6 hours on a Sunday.

.............

Will my continental quilt still...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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