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Search: Posts Made By: Sir Ewok
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 06:22 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
I recently converted to Islam and have turned my...

I recently converted to Islam and have turned my house into a Mosque. It's been a great success so much in fact my neighbours have thrown a brick through my window so they can hear my call to prayer...
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 05:43 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
HOS doesn't post as often as us, so you could...

HOS doesn't post as often as us, so you could ration his posts to 4 a day.....

https://youtu.be/Lo2qQmj0_h4

https://youtu.be/k1ljpLQ1V6Y

https://youtu.be/0HMAVU1k7kg
...
Forum: Down The Pub 15-08-2018, 05:44 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
Why not put Brendon Rogers in charge of Brexit? ...

Why not put Brendon Rogers in charge of Brexit?
He managed to get Celtic out of Europe in just 180 minutes.

..............

A manc and a scouser go into a bakery, the scouser pinches three iced...
Forum: Down The Pub 15-08-2018, 05:37 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
Nice way to describe the Friar......:rolleyes: ...

Nice way to describe the Friar......:rolleyes:

Like some of the Imagine Dragons stuff, especially that one....

https://youtu.be/pt-S5XMc91U

https://youtu.be/lD4sxxoJGkA

One for a former...
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 06:20 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
The driver in the Westminster crash fell asleep...

The driver in the Westminster crash fell asleep at the wheel.
He'd been driving round London for 4 days solid, trying to find a white person to run over.

.............

Fucking sneaky bastard...
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 05:37 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/j-fWDrZSiZs ...

https://youtu.be/j-fWDrZSiZs

https://youtu.be/E1PfIX-GQPk

https://youtu.be/cPoKjiMqmZs

https://youtu.be/bG74L0Rq7lw
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 05:31 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
I stop it by going into Task Manager (Control,...

I stop it by going into Task Manager (Control, Alt, Delete) and stopping the update. I also used AVG PC tune up and shredded the programme files. It keeps trying and failing to update and so restores...
Forum: Down The Pub 14-08-2018, 05:27 PM
Replies: 4,305
Views: 213,893
Posted By Sir Ewok
You forgot to mention the high point of your...

You forgot to mention the high point of your trip.... Meeting me:eek:
Forum: Down The Pub 13-08-2018, 04:42 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
Looking forward to the next Bond movie, "The...

Looking forward to the next Bond movie,
"The Man With The Stolen Gun"

.............

Security is being reviewed just because someone stole a plane?.
I nicked a sander once and no one even...
Forum: Down The Pub 13-08-2018, 04:02 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/DvZ97ajpYOM ...

https://youtu.be/DvZ97ajpYOM

https://youtu.be/tDl3bdE3YQA

https://youtu.be/iyTQ97ckQSY

https://youtu.be/JPR108kwNo4
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:40 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
I hate it when my Scouse girlfriend gets changed...

I hate it when my Scouse girlfriend gets changed into her pyjamas...
...I don't know if she's going to bed or going shopping.

.............

My wife hates it when I go for a shit with the door...
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:17 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
True, I thought that was the most stupid casting...

True, I thought that was the most stupid casting ever. Anybody who has read only ONE Jack Reacher novel would know that a stumpy little dwarf was not the persona of the main character...... As for...
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:14 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/qr1bkbWKevE ...

https://youtu.be/qr1bkbWKevE

https://youtu.be/L3xpmfJp0Xc

https://youtu.be/v1fImXAeS-s

https://youtu.be/k5HfOipwvts
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:09 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 361
Posted By Sir Ewok
Tesco quoted me 1100 for an old Focus, you'd...

Tesco quoted me 1100 for an old Focus, you'd think I was a 17 year old learner. I went elsewhere and got it for 450......:mad:
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:06 PM
Replies: 4,305
Views: 213,893
Posted By Sir Ewok
Ah! Posh drain cleaner......:rolleyes:

Ah! Posh drain cleaner......:rolleyes:
Forum: Down The Pub 11-08-2018, 05:49 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques...

Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow, when it was recently visiting Dublin.
"Where did you get that from?", the expert asks.
"It's been in my loft for 40 years. I think it's an...
Forum: Down The Pub 11-08-2018, 05:15 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
You've now got.. Tomorrow Night and Touch Me In...

You've now got.. Tomorrow Night and Touch Me In The Morning....:eek:

https://youtu.be/L53aTgZ8B3Y

https://youtu.be/MAMVkXI3HTI

https://youtu.be/yTCDVfMz15M

https://youtu.be/2bqeSGpP9PI
Forum: Down The Pub 10-08-2018, 05:19 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
Still amazed that The Bible was so specific in...

Still amazed that The Bible was so specific in forbidding shops with 280 square metres of floor space to open for more than 6 hours on a Sunday.

.............

Will my continental quilt still...
Forum: Down The Pub 10-08-2018, 04:41 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
Sometimes I wonder about you... It's raining men...

Sometimes I wonder about you... It's raining men and YMCA.....:confused:

https://youtu.be/ZaMX0Cs5Bc4

https://youtu.be/wzr6pBjWtDc

https://youtu.be/h1vO6QoACPk

https://youtu.be/qFUjdOgfEY8
Forum: Down The Pub 09-08-2018, 06:44 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
I walked up to a female member of staff in Tesco...

I walked up to a female member of staff in Tesco today and said, "Do you know where the Weight Watchers meals are?"
"I'm afraid not," she replied, "It's my first day."
"Fair enough," I said, "Let...
Forum: Down The Pub 09-08-2018, 06:10 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
I had a few jobs I liked (or sometimes just the...

I had a few jobs I liked (or sometimes just the guys you worked with) but not many....

https://youtu.be/yQHhqDRn4_c

https://youtu.be/BMYYCO_hwAs

https://youtu.be/Tb-Mce9VpmY
...
Forum: Down The Pub 09-08-2018, 06:04 PM
Replies: 4,305
Views: 213,893
Posted By Sir Ewok
Stay for a while so the value goes up......

Stay for a while so the value goes up......
Forum: Down The Pub 08-08-2018, 05:57 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
I was so offended by Boris Johnson's ignorant...

I was so offended by Boris Johnson's ignorant comments about the Burka, I decided to write him a strongly worded letter
But when I tried to post it, the letterbox screamed at me.

.............
...
Forum: Down The Pub 08-08-2018, 05:14 PM
Replies: 1,429
Views: 21,174
Posted By Sir Ewok
I try not to remember most places I've worked and...

I try not to remember most places I've worked and I think the feeling is mutual......lol.

https://youtu.be/RKdNu39kghQ

https://youtu.be/R8AOAap6_k4

https://youtu.be/Shy0zIMRTKY
...
Forum: Down The Pub 07-08-2018, 05:24 PM
Replies: 1,574
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 157,246
Posted By Sir Ewok
All this shit in Indonesia is starting to get on...

All this shit in Indonesia is starting to get on my nerves, people moaning about their homes...
...fucksake after 12 or 13 aftershocks I can't find my house either!

.............

I've always...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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