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Search: Posts Made By: Sir Ewok
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 04:42 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
Looking forward to the next Bond movie, "The...

Looking forward to the next Bond movie,
"The Man With The Stolen Gun"

.............

Security is being reviewed just because someone stole a plane?.
I nicked a sander once and no one even...
Forum: Down The Pub Yesterday, 04:02 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/DvZ97ajpYOM ...

https://youtu.be/DvZ97ajpYOM

https://youtu.be/tDl3bdE3YQA

https://youtu.be/iyTQ97ckQSY

https://youtu.be/JPR108kwNo4
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:40 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
I hate it when my Scouse girlfriend gets changed...

I hate it when my Scouse girlfriend gets changed into her pyjamas...
...I don't know if she's going to bed or going shopping.

.............

My wife hates it when I go for a shit with the door...
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:17 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
True, I thought that was the most stupid casting...

True, I thought that was the most stupid casting ever. Anybody who has read only ONE Jack Reacher novel would know that a stumpy little dwarf was not the persona of the main character...... As for...
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:14 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/qr1bkbWKevE ...

https://youtu.be/qr1bkbWKevE

https://youtu.be/L3xpmfJp0Xc

https://youtu.be/v1fImXAeS-s

https://youtu.be/k5HfOipwvts
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:09 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 341
Posted By Sir Ewok
Tesco quoted me 1100 for an old Focus, you'd...

Tesco quoted me 1100 for an old Focus, you'd think I was a 17 year old learner. I went elsewhere and got it for 450......:mad:
Forum: Down The Pub 12-08-2018, 03:06 PM
Replies: 4,294
Views: 213,574
Posted By Sir Ewok
Ah! Posh drain cleaner......:rolleyes:

Ah! Posh drain cleaner......:rolleyes:
Forum: Down The Pub 11-08-2018, 05:49 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques...

Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow, when it was recently visiting Dublin.
"Where did you get that from?", the expert asks.
"It's been in my loft for 40 years. I think it's an...
Forum: Down The Pub 11-08-2018, 05:15 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
You've now got.. Tomorrow Night and Touch Me In...

You've now got.. Tomorrow Night and Touch Me In The Morning....:eek:

https://youtu.be/L53aTgZ8B3Y

https://youtu.be/MAMVkXI3HTI

https://youtu.be/yTCDVfMz15M

https://youtu.be/2bqeSGpP9PI
Forum: Down The Pub 10-08-2018, 05:19 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
Still amazed that The Bible was so specific in...

Still amazed that The Bible was so specific in forbidding shops with 280 square metres of floor space to open for more than 6 hours on a Sunday.

.............

Will my continental quilt still...
Forum: Down The Pub 10-08-2018, 04:41 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
Sometimes I wonder about you... It's raining men...

Sometimes I wonder about you... It's raining men and YMCA.....:confused:

https://youtu.be/ZaMX0Cs5Bc4

https://youtu.be/wzr6pBjWtDc

https://youtu.be/h1vO6QoACPk

https://youtu.be/qFUjdOgfEY8
Forum: Down The Pub 09-08-2018, 06:44 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
I walked up to a female member of staff in Tesco...

I walked up to a female member of staff in Tesco today and said, "Do you know where the Weight Watchers meals are?"
"I'm afraid not," she replied, "It's my first day."
"Fair enough," I said, "Let...
Forum: Down The Pub 09-08-2018, 06:10 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
I had a few jobs I liked (or sometimes just the...

I had a few jobs I liked (or sometimes just the guys you worked with) but not many....

https://youtu.be/yQHhqDRn4_c

https://youtu.be/BMYYCO_hwAs

https://youtu.be/Tb-Mce9VpmY
...
Forum: Down The Pub 09-08-2018, 06:04 PM
Replies: 4,294
Views: 213,574
Posted By Sir Ewok
Stay for a while so the value goes up......

Stay for a while so the value goes up......
Forum: Down The Pub 08-08-2018, 05:57 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
I was so offended by Boris Johnson's ignorant...

I was so offended by Boris Johnson's ignorant comments about the Burka, I decided to write him a strongly worded letter
But when I tried to post it, the letterbox screamed at me.

.............
...
Forum: Down The Pub 08-08-2018, 05:14 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
I try not to remember most places I've worked and...

I try not to remember most places I've worked and I think the feeling is mutual......lol.

https://youtu.be/RKdNu39kghQ

https://youtu.be/R8AOAap6_k4

https://youtu.be/Shy0zIMRTKY
...
Forum: Down The Pub 07-08-2018, 05:24 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
All this shit in Indonesia is starting to get on...

All this shit in Indonesia is starting to get on my nerves, people moaning about their homes...
...fucksake after 12 or 13 aftershocks I can't find my house either!

.............

I've always...
Forum: Down The Pub 07-08-2018, 04:45 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 117
Posted By Sir Ewok
You won't get a lot nowadays...............:mad:

You won't get a lot nowadays...............:mad:
Forum: Down The Pub 07-08-2018, 04:43 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
https://youtu.be/uSCO-8AtW8c ...

https://youtu.be/uSCO-8AtW8c

https://youtu.be/MGxjIBEZvx0

https://youtu.be/L_L-zMnn7sA

https://youtu.be/jV3GVsECenw
Forum: Down The Pub 06-08-2018, 05:47 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
Facebook are launching a dating app that's going...

Facebook are launching a dating app that's going to let users choose between five genders.
Well, I'm all for equality, and think it's about time they included the other three genders - 'Attention...
Forum: Down The Pub 06-08-2018, 05:04 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
Here's one for HOS (only joking, I...

Here's one for HOS (only joking, I hope)....:cool:

https://youtu.be/7YvAYIJSSZY

https://youtu.be/2w1Q8ZkXZ1Q

https://youtu.be/zOoutJtMCi8

https://youtu.be/OgoMsc7PseY
Forum: Down The Pub 06-08-2018, 04:57 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 117
Posted By Sir Ewok
Get well soon. I had accident insurance when I...

Get well soon. I had accident insurance when I was self-employed for just such reasons.....
Forum: Down The Pub 06-08-2018, 04:55 PM
Replies: 4,294
Views: 213,574
Posted By Sir Ewok
You're living in one you bought...

You're living in one you bought earlier.......Snigger.
Forum: Down The Pub 05-08-2018, 06:57 PM
Replies: 1,571
Sticky: joke of the day
Views: 156,932
Posted By Sir Ewok
I've started a business selling Muslim...

I've started a business selling Muslim Womenswear.
Monday sees the grand opening of BurkaKing.

............

I ran out of toilet paper earlier, so I just had to say 'Goodbye Socks!'
It was a...
Forum: Down The Pub 05-08-2018, 06:28 PM
Replies: 1,419
Views: 21,067
Posted By Sir Ewok
Like a good mix...... ...

Like a good mix......

https://youtu.be/yao_T2adl14

https://youtu.be/j5UfE2BbYSQ

https://youtu.be/hTWKbfoikeg

https://youtu.be/y_ra8X_8waA
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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