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Creature
19-08-2005, 10:19 PM
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:

"Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

bear
20-08-2005, 08:23 AM
PMSL.
an old guy finds himself dead and is escorted to his eternity. when he gets to his destination he is told that as he enjoyed fishing durin his life he gets to spend eternity by a huge fishing hole. its stocked everyday and he has unlimited bait ect.
the guy is delighted and sets up his rod and reel and starts to fish , within seconds he is into a fish, after landing it he rebaits and casts again, within seconds he is into another fish, this goes on for some time and the guy is getting bored and puts in a complaint to the guardian,
" this is boring i keep catching fish , there seems to be no skill involved, as the fish just keep coming, this isnt how i envisioned heaven ".
the guardian replied "who said this was heaven!"

not a great joke but i couldnt think of many others.

kitkatman
20-08-2005, 08:28 AM
top quality...pmsl...where do you fimd this stuff :D

bluezephyr750
20-08-2005, 08:58 AM
PMSL.
an old guy finds himself dead and is escorted to his eternity. when he gets to his destination he is told that as he enjoyed fishing durin his life he gets to spend eternity by a huge fishing hole. its stocked everyday and he has unlimited bait ect.
the guy is delighted and sets up his rod and reel and starts to fish , within seconds he is into a fish, after landing it he rebaits and casts again, within seconds he is into another fish, this goes on for some time and the guy is getting bored and puts in a complaint to the guardian,
" this is boring i keep catching fish , there seems to be no skill involved, as the fish just keep coming, this isnt how i envisioned heaven ".
the guardian replied "who said this was heaven!"

not a great joke but i couldnt think of many others.


sounds like carp fishing to me,cast out go to sleep,beeeeeeeeep got a fish.

witchypoo
20-08-2005, 09:16 AM
nice one creature :D

pale rider
20-08-2005, 11:24 AM
i was once told that hell is were you repeat all your misstakes and most embaresing moments in life over and over infront of the people that you have hurt....im realy scaired

Urban Terrorist
20-08-2005, 11:39 AM
i was once told that hell is were you repeat all your misstakes and most embaresing moments in life over and over infront of the people that you have hurt....im realy scaired


Sound's good to me!! Shagging loads of sluts was a mistake, but I'm sure I could force myself to do it again :D

pale rider
21-08-2005, 08:45 AM
Sound's good to me!! Shagging loads of sluts was a mistake, but I'm sure I could force myself to do it again :D
my face hurts with laughing