Stress !!!!!

[Jim]

Daughter and boyfriend decided to have a row at 4.30 AM this morning in the living room (right below my bed room).
She tells him to leave, he comes back and asks for phone, then he comes back and demands a fag.
Third time he comes back and knocks on the f*****g door and asks for a fag.
I open door pick him up by the throat and explain exactly where i'm going to stick the fag if I ever see him again !

He leaves, she goes to bed and falls straight asleep. I'm now wide bloody awake and in a foul pissing mood !
Why did we have to have kids ?
Labradors are much less hassle.

Rant over.

[Shudy]

Oh touchy feely parenting in Suffolk.

Throw her out as well! Then, it'll never happen again Jim!

30 years ago when we were kids, we did as our parents told us. Now as parents, we seem to be told what to do by our kids. Where did it all go wrong?

[cxdemon]

Bloody social workers, who've never been near kids, telling everyone how to raise theirs, and the omnipresent do-gooders :mad:

And your not allowed to shout at em in case it affects their delicate little sensibilities!!!
and.... ok i'll stop now :o

[redtriker]

Yep the world has gone crazy, kids rule us parents, all these child protection laws were brought in to protect the the kids that were abused however those kids are still abused and kids who think that there parents are bad just for saying "no" use child protection issues against their parents.

Oh i better shut up now cos i could go on and on - yep im a frustrated parent, stressed to hell. :( :mad:

[smeghead]

not in my house, my kids get a smack if needs be and there aint no-one going to tell me how to raise my kids, it pure gets on my tits when i see so many kids telling thier parents, that the will be going out and wont be home till thier ready then cause chaos overnight,my kids aint angels but they do know right from wrong

[Jim]

[QUOTE=Shudy]Oh touchy feely parenting in Suffolk.

Throw her out as well! Then, it'll never happen again Jim!


She'd just go and make someone elses life a misery and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Tempting though.

[redtriker]

Jim I know how you feel there, i have thought about sending my daughter to live with her dad but i just know that after she has messed his life up she will be back.

Animal last time i grabbed my daughter after she had run off and i spent two hours searching for her, she tried her best to get me to hit her so she could phone the police on me, kids know their rights - i sit there and think to myself i didnt bring her up like that, they pick it all up from school, their mates get away with it so they think they can.

Saddest part of all is that she can be the best daughter in the world most of the time only when she kicks off she does it big time.

My greatest stress buster is going out for a ride on the bike, now trike - its saved her life more than once ;)

[smeghead]

i've bin there as well red last time my daughter tried that on i just dialed childline and handed her the phone soon changed her mind,i must be doing something right as my lad daymo(he's 17) said the other day thanks for taking a hardline with me, as all his mates are hanging the streets getting pissed and vandalising stuff evernight,but hes at home getting ready for work(he's had one day off since he left school), im far from perfect as a parent and anyone who knows me knows me and the lad cant work together fro long(we make the 2 paulies from occ look like saints lol), but i think the way i bought them up has paid off as they know right from worng etc. as for school and do gooders my daughter knew feck all about drugs,but due to a compulsory lesson at school she now knows whre to obtain needles and how to safely prepar and inject heroin to me theres something very wrong with that picture

[cxdemon]

Better they teach the little darlings to cross the roads properly!! :eek:

[Mrs Reject]

Don't talk to me about sproggs! Mrs R's sprogg has come home from university to live with us!!! He is 21 and twice the size of me so I can hardly lay down the law. His results came this morning and he is refusing to come out of his room :)
I have to say he is quite civilised, takes turns with us to cook every evening and cleans up but he doesn't half have some funny ideas about life.
Me and Mitch no longer have a life, we are parents again!!!!! :eek:

[Mrs Reject]

i forgot to mention, he is a militant vegetarian of the getting arrested by police variety so we have had to hide the tins of spam at the back of the shed :D

[guyver1]

i have to admit my son is a godsend, hes very good most of the time and its very rare i have to get mad with him, but my brother whose 29, university graduate, supposedly a clever bloke, works with children with mental disorders, hes pissed all the time and on drugs too, hes been living with our grandmother (82) thats had 7 strokes this year already and he doesnt do a b*stard thing for her, then when i take my son round there for her too look after him during the school holidays (her wishes) he turned round and attacked me and called me an unfit father,OOOOOPS, wrong thing to say to me after the court battles ive had to keep my son, now im an unfit brother, he has a broken jaw, plenty of broken ribs one hell of a bruised ego and no where to live, SORTED :cool:

[Jim]

Result !!!!!!!

For the first time since April (when he managed to wreck her GCSE chances through a combination of peer pressure and threats) the litle c**t hasn't rung her or texted her.
Just goes to show that sometimes mindless violence and threats are all that are needed !
Wished I'd done this 3 months ago !

[Nitrowing]

When I was 9 my mum left my dad and ran home to her mum. I was unruly and my mum took me to a child shrink. He told her to hit me harder. What a difference a good beating makes...!
Far be it from me to tell anyone how to bring children up - but show them 'Scum' and then threaten them with borstal...

[redtriker]

im glad you got a result jim - nice one :D

congratulations Mrs R & mitch on sproggs graduation, hey if you want to swap kids i would be happy to help out, she dont do house work but she does eat meat so you could get the spam out of the shed - me im a veggi, so wouldnt mind putting up with your son :D

Animal thanks - im firm with my kids, thats the problem cos my daughters mates parents aint, they give in to thier kids all the time, the kids get grounded so they kick up a stink about it & the parents let them out cos they cant be bothered, my daughter kicks off so i ground her for longer and stick to it no matter what she does, the time just gets longer. when she has calmed down she has been known to say thankyou for caring.

Guyver1 sounds like your bother deserved it mate ;)

nitrowing times have changed mate you cant even make your kids see a doctor unless they want to now, no one will help you unless you beat your kids up or they are a danger to themselves. the film scum i know someone who watched it and after that they never did anything wrong again, and after what i heard about the film i can understand why.

[Kingo]

As a parent of 4 grown up children I can sympathize with the problems shared on here, our youngest daughter when she was 14 got mixed up with a man 35 we grounded her and stopped the meetings I threatend to blow his f<cking head off, but as soon as she was 16 she left home and moved in with him.
Now 6 years and 2 children later she has finally seen the light and chucked him out.
What kids forget is that we where all their age once, and our experience means absolutely nothing. :mad:

[Jay]

Kids - Thats a difficult one as we all know.

I have 2 great little boys (3 & 1)...proper characters with the full compliment of everything and for that I am truly greatful.

They can be little buggers and I get all hairy when they do, then regret it later and think I am just being miserable. I look at the little toads when they are asleep and love 'em so much it almost hurts.

I worry my tiny mind about how they are gonna grow up and what sort of peeps they will be. I don't know if I had a good upbringing or not, it was rough at times but there was plenty of love about and some good memories I can look back on. There were some nasties too, horrible things and odd as it may sound, I do believe that an epic event when you are young, has an enormous impact on the sort of person you turn into.

How the hell any of that can be of any use I don't know and thanks for listening Dr......same time next week!

[Jim]

Bugger It !!


Was in Nottingham last night at a family get together. When I returned this morning the missus told me that she had got home to find my daughter and scum bag in the house.
She told him to leave and advised 'dear daughter' that bringing him home again when I was around could prove fatal.
Oh well, time to go and polish the axe !

[Rabid]

Been there seen the film got the T shirt i have some very special axe polish do you want to borrow some?

[Bosun]

Been there seen the film got the T shirt i have some very special axe polish do you want to borrow some?


polish isnt that what axle grease was made for? or is that for pick axe handles and orrifuices?

[ForestFred]

Want me to 'ave a word Jim ,got lots of nice deep caves and unexplored bits o the forest ;)

[Gypsy]

doro says.........

can't get my 19 year old to pay me any board money

she thinks £30 per week is too much

she does nothing to help out in the house

thinks nothing of asking for favours, lending her money, taxi ing her about etc

everytime I ask for the board money she just yells at me

am seriously thinking of kicking her out

but

don't want to be estranged from her

any ideas?

[Smudge]

My first kid was an accident the second came free with a mother so i had the snip Drastic but fair :eek:

[Mrs Reject]

doro says.........

can't get my 19 year old to pay me any board money

she thinks £30 per week is too much

she does nothing to help out in the house

thinks nothing of asking for favours, lending her money, taxi ing her about etc

everytime I ask for the board money she just yells at me

am seriously thinking of kicking her out

but

don't want to be estranged from her

any ideas?

No!!!!! I wouldn't dare ask my 21 year old son for board money as he would think we hated him and get well huffy - so we don't bother, It is not worth the grief. I suppose it depends on how long they are home for, at least ours is off to Oz in November so we know it's not for ever but if he was staying for the duration I'd want a contribution towards bills and food or there would be trouble. My ex-husbands sister always used to say, "what do you think this is - a doss house".

[redtriker]

Jim, i dont know how old your daughter is nor what rights you have over her as a parent at her age, but you do have rights regarding your property you could have him arrested for tresspassing, point this out to your daughter, my guess is that she is around the 16yrs old age, sadly they think they are adults at this age (i know i did), they know how to hurt you, they play on your heart strings by threatening to run away etc, each kid is different so no one person can give you advice on how to cure this problem, as parents only you know your daughter really, find out what you can and cant do legally for a start, think about what has worked in the past regarding getting through to her, she sounds like she has a lot going for her ( just cos that twat made her mess up her exams doesnt mean its all over for her, its never to late to make a fresh start), most importantly take back control over your lives, stay calm (yep i know its really hard), be consistant in what you say, lay down ground rules and all of you stick to them, there is so much i could write here but i would be here all day, yes i know this sounds like its the new age way of doing things but its a start, a change of tactics, once you start losing your temper kids switch off, they just see you as wanting to ruin thier lives etc. jim i am no expert, I have spent hours on the phone ranting to some poor soul at parentline, but it helped, since then i have been a lot calmer about things at home, i am now in control again, my daughter is a lot calmer too, i made some rules - when my daughter breaks them, i stick to what i said the punishments would be, it was hard at first she kicked up hell but now my daughter knows that i will stick to my word and wont back down, its called tough love, she knows i love her as i tell her that everyday, things aint perfect and i know that new problems will come along only im in a better frame of mind to deal with them.

[redtriker]

Doro, your daughter is now classed as an adult, i dont know if shes working or what but if she didnt live with you she would be lucky to get a bedsit for £30pw, i agree with mrs reject about her son as he has just come back from uni, only he helps out around the house and will be off again soon. what would your daughter do if something bad happened to you (which i hope it never does) and you were no longer around to look after her, it would come as a big shock to her having to support herself, she could end up in all sorts of problems, hey we all would love to say sod it to paying the bills & stuff, and go buy that bike/trike that we saw the other day, only we dont cos the food, kids, bills, house comes first. your gonna have to get tough here and you know it, she dont want you to kick her out as she has got an easy life with you - hey for just £30pw i will be your lodger, its worth it just for all the added extras, lets face it she will lose so much if she loses you as a mother, make some enquiries about bedsits, work out how much it would cost her in bills and food, plus the taxi service you provide, write it all down, sit down calmly with her and tell her you cant afford to keep her for nothing any more, so you have made some enquiries about bedsits etc & thats around how much it will cost, plus point out that its not what you really want for her to leave but she is old enough to look after herself now, doro you know how to talk to her, just try to get her to look at the pros and cons, plus make it clear that you have her best interest at heart & what would she do if you werent around etc, play on the fact that she is a young adult now & she should be able to stand on her own two feet & that pride thing - Doro you are in the right here - you can sort this.

oh god ive got all this to come, its easy for an outsider who aint emotionally attatched to say stuff but when your own kids its harder to go through with stuff that you know you want to do but your kids aint going to like.

[redtriker]

Jim, ive changed my mind can i borrow your axe in a couple of years time mate ;) :D

[womble]

he turned round and attacked me and called me an unfit father,OOOOOPS, wrong thing to say to me after the court battles ive had to keep my son, now im an unfit brother, he has a broken jaw, plenty of broken ribs one hell of a bruised ego and no where to live, SORTED :cool:


A man after my own heart well done mate

[Friar Tuck]

Well, I do not have any sproggs to worry about! So I can't see wot you lot are complaining about! shouldn't have had the little darlings in the first place! So, it's all yer own faults!

As for the labrador? We are picking one up on Tuesday from the Guide Dogs for the Blind. It's a 14 month old pup that has failed the training course, but has bee house trained and puppy walked. so no worries about house training.

And I'm getting really excited in having another furry friend to have around the house again!

[Jim]

Jim, ive changed my mind can i borrow your axe in a couple of years time mate ;) :D
Tried the reasonable approach for about 3 months but unfortunately it didn't work.
The axe may be a bit blunt but you're welcome to borrow it.

[Jim]

doro says.........

can't get my 19 year old to pay me any board money

she thinks £30 per week is too much

she does nothing to help out in the house

thinks nothing of asking for favours, lending her money, taxi ing her about etc

everytime I ask for the board money she just yells at me

am seriously thinking of kicking her out

but

don't want to be estranged from her

any ideas?


The first step is to stop lending her cash, running her about and generally being obliging.
After a month of this try asking again.
My 18 year old stepson pays 25 quid a week which is going up to 30 in October, hes never really complained partly cos one of his mates lives in digs and he can see what it costs him.

[redtriker]

Tried the reasonable approach for about 3 months but unfortunately it didn't work.
The axe may be a bit blunt but you're welcome to borrow it.

just make sure all the blood is off it, i can sharpen it mate no problem :D

[Friar Tuck]

It's ALL yer owns faults! Shouldn't have had the little buggers in the first place! Me? I have no kids so I have NO WORRIES!:p

On the other hand I'm going to pick up a lovely little 14 month old Labrador today from the Guide Dogs for the Blind.:) (failed it's guide dog training, before you lot jump to the wrong conclusions! Mind you there are some that say I'm blind as a bat any way!)

It's name is Wanda! So that's being changed! It's now going to be called Wendy, or Windy!!:D

Mm! A Dogfish called Wanda?

[Mrs Reject]

What idiot calls a dog Wanda - honestly, imagine shouting Wanda in the local park!!!!! :D My cats came from the cat rescue home and they had been unfortunately christened Sebastian and Sabrina ff's - they didn't have those names for long I can tell you :mad:

[Friar Tuck]

I dont care what she's called! We have her home here now for 48 hours and she is an absolute honey!

Missed having a pet around for far too long!

[Friar Tuck]

I must admit, there is nothing like having a pet, any pet, to relieve stress!

[bikervamp]

Please dont mention stress , i've had loads - 4 kids aged between 9 weeks & 9 years that r on hols & think they rule the roost. Dogs arnt no better , tryed that one , he's a bastard ,he's ended up living out most of the time because he's too much dog indoors. He just destroys things all the time & believe me i've tryed everything to deter him - apart from wiring his jaws up..

[Doro]

dunno what I did but she paid me her board this week, no argument, and she even managed to go away on a drinking weekend and still have the money for me, that's what I call self control ha ha

[Mrs Reject]

Well maybe you've transferred the aggro over to me - I went ballistic last night after sprogg turns down jobs day after day and does nothing but sit in his room playing computer games - he's 21, ff's. I said he can either go and get a job NOOOOW!!!! or go and live somewhere else. Not surprisingly I have just come home from work and he is not here!
Well really, wish I had the feckin' luxury of lounging around in my room all day, when I'm not at uni I'm working as a nurse full time and at weekends when I am in uni and when I've finished I'll have to get a job straight away!!! No computer games for me. No butter, milk or bread neither GRRRRRRRRR :mad:

[Rabid]

Dont you just love the little darlings :D

[poridge wog]

oh my god after reading the majority of these posts about kids it makes me wonder where my 13 year old is goin to end up , he dont smoke, drink, do drugs, he has a social life outside the home and he is polite to strangers.
As a fully paid up member of the long haired bike riding ,f u im allright jack fraternity i want to know where i went wrong :confused:

[krammer]

yes, strange that is'nt it? i have had quite a 'history' and yet my daugter passed her driving test last week at seventeen and a half, no drinking, smoking, lad trouble etc etc infuriating really.