View Full Version : Missing the point
Huw Beer Monster
16-07-2004, 08:34 AM
I'm bored...
Anyone up for a thread of bike-related questions, with answers that miss the point? The idea is that you end your post with a Question. The Reply should be the answer (that misses the point), followed by your question. Eg.
Q: Should Rossi join F1?
Reply
A: No, he should stay with the Quo.
Q: How much fork oil should I use?
Reply
A: Depends on the size of the salad and the fork, but only use quality extra virgin olive oil.
Q: Which tyres should I buy?
Reply
A: We recommend round ones.
Q: etc...
OK?
If you're ready, then I'll begin
Q: How do I do a doughnut?
jediross
16-07-2004, 08:40 AM
A: Well you need batter and a hot frying pan...
Q: Does my bum look big in this? :D
Gypsy
16-07-2004, 08:43 AM
A. jam or plain??
Q. i have seized nuts how can i get them off ? :D
smeghead
16-07-2004, 09:01 AM
A: use robbies tig to strike an arc this should heat your nuts sufficently to loosen em
Q:why was brian the messia
A. Because he was the most intelligent snail who auditioned for Magic Roundabout.
Q. Where do you insert an 'Internal Throttle'?
Freelancer
16-07-2004, 10:16 AM
A: Don't know... speak to the I.T. Dept I'm sure that they'll help you out!
Q: Do you come here often?
A I haven't come here once as yet.
Q Is a tank-slapper a loose girl on the front of your bike?
poridge wog
16-07-2004, 10:27 AM
A. no. a tank slapper is some one who hates armoured fighting vehicles.
Q. has anyone seen a squirrel sh"T. :cool:
Born2bVile
16-07-2004, 10:39 AM
A : No, but I've seen a rabbit shot.
Q : How many roads must a man walk down?
Gypsy
16-07-2004, 10:45 AM
A. depend how many he walked up
Q. why do people with mobile phones shout
A Yes and it falls all the way to the floor and looks exactly like pinecones.
Q How many beans make five
poridge wog
16-07-2004, 11:02 AM
A. depends on how many left at four thirty.
Q. should i polish my helmet. :confused:
Freelancer
16-07-2004, 11:32 AM
A: Won't that sting? :D
Q: Can I come with you?
A. that's not a bike related question
Q. is this?
DANNY
16-07-2004, 11:41 AM
A: no im married
Q: is muffin the mule a criminal offence
Huw Beer Monster
16-07-2004, 12:26 PM
A: No, because shoes have no gender
Q: Has Doro seen the point?
Rabid
16-07-2004, 12:35 PM
A. Which way is she looking.
Q. Why are tyres black?
Huw Beer Monster
16-07-2004, 12:37 PM
A: So they don't clash with your leathers
Q: Why do people buy Goldwings?
Rabid
16-07-2004, 12:50 PM
A. I thought that was a breed of eagle.
Q. Will it screw both ways?
Gypsy
16-07-2004, 02:40 PM
A. depends what floats her boat
Q. shall i turn the sound up
DANNY
16-07-2004, 05:47 PM
A: pardon
Q:do wing nuts only fit hondas
A. I thought thats what you got when you didn't wipe your bum properly
Q. Can you still buy THOMOS mopeds in woolworths?
Gypsy
16-07-2004, 08:02 PM
A. they came in tartan and plain blue
Q. water water everywhere.. why is there none to drink?
A cos it's frozen
Q Give me one good point about owning a Bike
smeghead
16-07-2004, 09:15 PM
A: cuz you can
Q: is there a god
Friar Tuck
16-07-2004, 10:32 PM
A. Yes, down the corridor third door on the left. Pull the chain when you've finished.
Q. So, what does it handle like?
Shudy
16-07-2004, 10:56 PM
A) I think the "water music" was his most well known work
Q) is that what you call a line of people?
Bosun
16-07-2004, 11:07 PM
A a pong of pensioners ( must be a thursday in a post office)
Q. Does my bum look big on this?
Shudy
16-07-2004, 11:12 PM
(A) Not if you use Vicks Sinex
(Q)Whose coat is this jacket?
Rabid
17-07-2004, 07:25 PM
A. Being Welsh is not big or clever :p
Q. Why use twin pack?
Friar Tuck
18-07-2004, 08:01 AM
A. Coz one pack aint enough, dummy! Everyone knows that!
Q. Can I have a go matey?
Rabid
18-07-2004, 08:12 AM
A. Get your own bubble bath
Q. Whats its top end?
UKRobKLR650
18-07-2004, 08:39 AM
A. Get your own bubble bath
Q. Whats its top end?
A. The Opposite to its bottom end.
Q. If a horse can find its own way to water why does a pencil have to be lead?
A. All you have to do is the maths then graphite to work out why
Q. Is there anything wrong with bashing the bishop
Rabid
18-07-2004, 07:38 PM
A. was it common assault, ABH or GBH?
Q. Why do tyres only go flat at the bottom?
Huw Beer Monster
19-07-2004, 08:28 AM
A: Because half the air can't be arsed.
Q: Is there ever an excuse for speeding?
UKRobKLR650
19-07-2004, 12:12 PM
A/ Always an excuse for speeding except in built up areas.
Q/ Im not a pheasant plucker im a pheasent pluckers son, im only plucking pheasents till the pheasent pluckers come. What do i do for a job then?
Huw Beer Monster
19-07-2004, 12:19 PM
A: Management Consultancy
Q: Hein Gericke or Frank Thomas?
100%Pat
19-07-2004, 12:39 PM
A, Oooh I know John Thomas... must be his older brother.
Q, Oooh mister how fast does that go then?
Sheltie
19-07-2004, 04:08 PM
A. All the way to the top.
Q. What are nipples for?
100%Pat
19-07-2004, 04:12 PM
A, I dont think they do anything really all I know is the bigger stone you drop the better they are.
Q, Mudguards or no mudguards?
Bosun
19-07-2004, 04:38 PM
a: i aint watching over that pile of dirt all day
Q. Which side do you dress?
Sheltie
19-07-2004, 05:28 PM
A. Depends of what side of the bed I get out of.
Q. Do you really need a kickstart?
A. no just a playful tap on the butt would be fine
Q. Would you like a banana?
Bosun
19-07-2004, 10:20 PM
a: is that a banana in your pocket or just pleased to see me :eek:
Q Can i get you on a slow boat to china?
ForestFred
19-07-2004, 10:58 PM
A:No but do you want to go to hell and back?
Q: Do you fnuck on a first date?
Huw Beer Monster
20-07-2004, 08:01 AM
A: No, just a swift one off the palm
Q: Can you give 110%?
Born2bVile
20-07-2004, 04:46 PM
A: No, I couldn't give a fcuk
Q: Who did put the 'bop' in the 'bop-shoo-wap-shoo-wap'?
A. the same fella that put the ram in ramalamadindong
Q. If blind people wear (dark) glasses why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?
Rabid
20-07-2004, 05:16 PM
A. Even Jordan can only keep one pair at a time.
Q. Why do people in wheelchairs always wear trainers?
Sheltie
20-07-2004, 06:20 PM
A. 'Cos the mules wouldn't pull them.
Q. Why is a thingy called a widget?
BlackPig
20-07-2004, 10:21 PM
A;'cos the doofer's a wotsit.
Q;What's the diference between a duck ?
Braces
21-07-2004, 01:47 AM
A there isn`t a difference they are hermafradite
Q why do fat assed women always wear jogging bottoms ewwwwww
Friar Tuck
21-07-2004, 05:43 AM
A. Always ensure that the the gudgeon pin is inserted before tightening up the big end!
Q. I suppose a shag is out of the question then?
Huw Beer Monster
21-07-2004, 03:42 PM
A: Yes, you can't import New Zealand cormorants into the UK
Q: Belt or chain?
100%Pat
21-07-2004, 04:00 PM
A, I find a feather much better, belts leave rather unsightly marks and chains chafe abit .
Q, Helmet or none?
GarrysPhrogg
21-07-2004, 04:04 PM
A. a helmet is better when it's hard !!!
q. lubricant or not?
Huw Beer Monster
21-07-2004, 04:10 PM
A: Lubri can. And I've got the photos to prove it.
Q: 100% Pat or Cow Pat?
A. much prefer a quick stroke, cheers
Q. If blind people wear (dark) glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Kensen
21-07-2004, 04:43 PM
A 100% cool cat pat
Q were was cat pat sat
Friar Tuck
21-07-2004, 10:15 PM
A. Put, put, put, put, put!
Q. What was that, again?
Huw Beer Monster
22-07-2004, 12:10 PM
A: If it was a gain, don't forget to pay your Capital Gains Tax
Q: If I was to say to you can you keep a secret, would you know just what to do, or where to keep it?
A Yes...you can trust me...I work for the government
Q Why are you reading this, when it is nothing to do with bikes
Huw Beer Monster
22-07-2004, 01:08 PM
A: Because that's missing the point
Q: Next?
100%Pat
22-07-2004, 01:34 PM
A, Next time ASK properly... :D
B, How much for copyright?
Rabid
22-07-2004, 01:37 PM
A. 10p a page in local shop right.
Q. Do submarines have waterproof flags?
Huw Beer Monster
22-07-2004, 01:47 PM
A: No, they usually contain butter, salad, dressing and a meat product.
Q: Stork or Butter?
Braces
22-07-2004, 05:49 PM
a flamingos or axle grease
Q why does no one everuse the whole of a pencil
Tim1400
22-07-2004, 08:05 PM
A. You can't write with a hole
Q. Why do big ends knock?
Rabid
22-07-2004, 08:15 PM
A. Because the bell is knackered.
Q.why do you polish a bike but a person is Polish
GarrysPhrogg
23-07-2004, 04:43 AM
a, Read the story of "O"
q, Have you read the story of "O" ?
Friar Tuck
23-07-2004, 05:50 AM
A, No but I've got the Haynes manual for it!
Q. Anyone got a light?
A. 40w or 60w
Q.What does the dangly end plug into ?
GarrysPhrogg
23-07-2004, 07:02 AM
a, maybe a wet socket !!
q, Why ?
Huw Beer Monster
23-07-2004, 07:38 AM
A: Because
Q: MAG or NABD?
A Can't read and haven't bin caught yet
Q Do you prefer a rigid one?...Frame of course
smeghead
23-07-2004, 10:24 PM
a: semi flacid is best
Q: boiled sprouts or roasted sprouts
A. either way'll stop the buggers growin'
Q. mig, tig or arc?
Rabid
25-07-2004, 12:02 PM
A. Arc always Noah would never have got all of those animals into a mig or tig
Q. Hardtail or softtail?
A Soft Ale is for girls (ooh I am gonna pay for that I reckon)
Q Injection or Normally aspirated
Bosun
25-07-2004, 04:31 PM
A: no i get a box of 3
Q: Is it hot in here or is it me?
A. Take off your clothes
Q. Why does it hurt when I pee?
Dougie
25-07-2004, 06:40 PM
A:Take yer dick out the mangle!
Q:Where's the beers?
Sir Ewok
25-07-2004, 09:29 PM
in the mortuary!
Why do Harley sell bikes, when they make so much more from t-shirts?
Rabid
26-07-2004, 10:33 AM
A. Have you ever tried ploughing with a T shirt.
Q. Who's idea was that?
Huw Beer Monster
26-07-2004, 02:08 PM
A: Probably the same person who came up with "This", "These" and "Those".
Q: unleaded or diesel?
A. don't care as long as it gets me pissed
Q. Paper or plastic?
Sheltie
26-07-2004, 06:20 PM
A. I find coal burns much better
Q. Why are we here?
Rabid
27-07-2004, 05:41 AM
A. If you are here were are you hiding? You are all being very quiet.
Q. Shaft, belt or chain.
Friar Tuck
27-07-2004, 05:55 AM
A. Depends if you live down a mine!
Q. Where have me threads and posts gone for yesterday then?
Huw Beer Monster
27-07-2004, 07:55 AM
A: Inside your nuts and attached to chicken wire in your garden
Q: Hells Angel or Devil's Advocate?
100%Pat
27-07-2004, 08:34 AM
A, Ooooh Advocate please, I love Snowballs, plenty of lime in it though.
Q, What times dinner...
Huw Beer Monster
28-07-2004, 08:13 AM
A: The microwave, of course
Q: Is gaffa tape an acceptable way to patch leather?
Dougie
28-07-2004, 03:37 PM
A: Big hammer
Q:Protect and Survive or Duck and Cover?
100%Pat
28-07-2004, 04:02 PM
A, Oh Duck & Cover, the beer is better in the snug.
Q, left or right?
Sheltie
28-07-2004, 05:35 PM
A. Straight on up, over the roundabout and stop at the lights.
Q. Roundhead or cavilier?
A Always preferred the Ford Sierra meself
Q Curry Sauce or Gravy
Dougie
28-07-2004, 07:28 PM
A:Refried beans!
Q:Aussies or Kiwis?
A yeah used to have that one too
Q Squeal like a piggy boy or I'll be back
GarrysPhrogg
29-07-2004, 08:30 AM
A, if you need to ask you wouldn't understand :p
Q, Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Huw Beer Monster
29-07-2004, 08:41 AM
A: Abbreviated is a short word. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch is a long word
Q: Sport or Bikes
blackhack
29-07-2004, 09:27 AM
a/ tonsilitis
q/ am i doing this right??
Santa
29-07-2004, 10:12 AM
A: Only if you're left handed.
Q: To be or not to be?
Huw Beer Monster
29-07-2004, 10:13 AM
A: That is... illogical, Captain
Q: Is there life after death?
Scotty
30-07-2004, 09:46 PM
A heaven or hell?
Q Is chrome too shiny?
Friar Tuck
31-07-2004, 05:56 AM
A. Usually on a Wednesday afternoon!
Q. Does it look right to you?
Rabid
31-07-2004, 08:33 AM
A. No left
Q. Are we still going?
blackhack
01-08-2004, 12:22 AM
Q/ are we there yet..???
A/ just after tuesday.....
Sir Ewok
01-08-2004, 08:12 PM
Third star on the right and straight on till morning.............
Spoked or Ally?
Bosun
01-08-2004, 11:12 PM
A: I'll have a half please
Q: is it too late to put sprouts on for christmas?
Rabid
02-08-2004, 06:50 AM
A. You can wear what you want too!
Q. Why does my visor attract bugs?
Huw Beer Monster
02-08-2004, 07:16 AM
A: Because it's crap. And bugs are attracted to crap :)
Q: If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?
Dougie
02-08-2004, 07:18 AM
A:Who said that?
Q:Why me?
Sir Ewok
02-08-2004, 07:45 AM
Because............
Why does the bread always fall jam side down?
Huw Beer Monster
02-08-2004, 08:34 AM
A: Because if it didn't, then we couldn't make cats fly. (http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/archive/index.php/t-3268.html)
Q: Padded seat or padded cell?
Dougie
02-08-2004, 08:39 AM
A:Padded bra
Q:Why NOT me?
A Because you aren't here
Q Dirt Bike or Bert Dyke
BlackPig
03-08-2004, 03:27 PM
A ) Dirty tyke
Q ) Who killed Bambi?
A Nambi Pambi
Q Cross-Ply or Radial?
Dougie
03-08-2004, 07:39 PM
A: Rotary
Q: How much is that doggie in the window? :eek:
BlackPig
03-08-2004, 07:42 PM
A £50 an hour
Q What's a piecost ?
Dougie
03-08-2004, 07:45 PM
A: £2.50 for steak!
Q: Why must I be a teenager in love?
BlackPig
03-08-2004, 07:47 PM
A ) It's all back to the doggy :D
Q ) Why ?
Dougie
03-08-2004, 07:59 PM
A: Dogs need love too!
Q:Seven and seven is?
A are you calling me a gaylord
Q double-decker or Mars?
BlackPig
03-08-2004, 08:05 PM
A ) And why not a taxi to pluto
Q ) Why is dirt cheap ?
A You pay peanuts, you get monkeys
Q A birds bush in your two hands is worth?
Huw Beer Monster
04-08-2004, 07:47 AM
A: A slap in the mouth if you didn't ask first
Q: Why are we here?
A cos it's too far to there!
Q how many lessor spotted spainly legged bald headed pigmy iguana's does it take to change a lightbulb?
Huw Beer Monster
04-08-2004, 01:34 PM
A: None. There's no leccy in the jungle.
Q: If all the world were paper and all the seas were ink, and all the trees were lavatories, do you think there'd be a stink?
Born2bVile
04-08-2004, 03:48 PM
Somebody's bound to complain
If an erection falls in a forest and nobody is there to witness it, do you still go blind?
A Sorry I don't see your point
Q How come Ants can make a house of sand, even in your MUDDY lawn?
Dougie
04-08-2004, 07:15 PM
A:Because the Three Little Pigs stole all the bricks!
Q:Why for you kick my dog and call him "F*ckoff" when you know his name is Sanchez?
A. Yes
Q. I gazed, amazed through the window glaze, into the haze where there stood a maze.complete this phrase
blackhack
04-08-2004, 09:57 PM
A/....NO!
Q/....why dont you gribble your donkies a bit lower ??
Bosun
04-08-2004, 11:00 PM
A because we are off to higher ground
Q does it come in a larger size?
ibleedpetrol
05-08-2004, 07:24 AM
only if you save it up for a week or so.
where's the soap?
Huw Beer Monster
05-08-2004, 07:49 AM
A: Yes it does, doesn't it. (Ahh the old nuns in a bath gag)
Q: One-Hundred and Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighty!
ibleedpetrol
05-08-2004, 02:21 PM
bloody hell, looking good for your age, then! :)
if you get silly mid-off, when does it come back on again?
Born2bVile
05-08-2004, 03:19 PM
After the adverts.
Why does my nose run and my feet smell?
Bosun
05-08-2004, 04:54 PM
a because your chewing gum loses its flavour over night
Q was that thunder?
GarrysPhrogg
05-08-2004, 05:05 PM
A, No it's thaturday.
Q, Why isn't the word Phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
A. coz a written word doesn't make any noise
Q. If I give it a go will it work or am I just wasting me time?
Born2bVile
05-08-2004, 10:01 PM
If it doesn't work, hit it with a big hammer.
If drugs are the answer, what's the question?
rommel
05-08-2004, 10:46 PM
(A) Who's there man
(Q) Why do we die?
Huw Beer Monster
06-08-2004, 07:59 AM
A: Because it'd be bloody cramped around 'ere if we didn't
Q: If I'd replied to every "enlarge your member" email I've ever got, how long would it be?
Born2bVile
06-08-2004, 08:39 AM
A couple of weeks.
Why am I thirsty?
Bosun
06-08-2004, 04:39 PM
because of your lisp?
who is jack s**t
Huw Beer Monster
10-08-2004, 08:56 AM
A: The bloke who got sacked from the garage for not lifting cars properly.
Q: Is this the end?
Bosun
10-08-2004, 12:24 PM
a/ no its no 150
b/ should i grease my nipples
A It's your monkey.....
Q Can I survive without eyelids?
Bosun
10-08-2004, 11:10 PM
which model of tupperwear are you using?
was that last orders?
A depends if you're buying the next round
Q will that fit in there?
Rabid
11-08-2004, 08:14 AM
Only if there are lots of flashing lights.
Do you spit or swallow?
Rogue Monkey
11-08-2004, 08:32 AM
A. jam or plain??
Q. i have seized nuts how can i get them off ? :D
Hahahahahaha! Money and power Dude! ;)
Dougie
11-08-2004, 09:03 AM
A:Talk to the squirrels.
Q:Quo vadis?
A Quo rock ALL over the world
Q Antidisestablishmentarialism - what are the ramifications of this to ordinary folk?
Huw Beer Monster
11-08-2004, 09:42 AM
A: Excessive purchases of dictionaries, or writer's cramp
Q: What does DNA stand for?
A Dont' No Answer to this un mate
Q Chesney Hawkes or Kagagoogoo
Rabid
11-08-2004, 01:25 PM
A. Machete
Q.Im bored what can i do? :confused:
Huw Beer Monster
11-08-2004, 01:27 PM
A: Write the names of London streets on yourself. Then you can be a Monopoly Bored.
Q: Dog, Car, Boat or Boot?
A Chicken drummers
Q Where did danny baker go
Dougie
11-08-2004, 03:13 PM
A: Hopefully somewhere very hot,very pointy and INCREDIBLY painful!
Q: Why isn't Chris Moyles there?
A There isnt room
Q How long would he burn for?
Dougie
11-08-2004, 03:25 PM
A:How long have ya got?
Q:Who IS the superhero?
A Captain Caveman
Q Why do you get more earwax in your left ear
Huw Beer Monster
11-08-2004, 03:42 PM
A: To block the sound of your other half snoring
Q: Why can't you get the wood these days?
Dougie
11-08-2004, 03:44 PM
A:Coz you can't see the trees!
Q:Was it Penry,the mild mannered janitor?
A you're asking the wrong bloke
Q Why are some blokes queer
saxman
11-08-2004, 04:03 PM
A cos they havent got knobs shaped like cricket bats.
Q does belly button fluff taste nice?
Rabid
11-08-2004, 04:23 PM
Yes if you dip it in marmite.
Marmite or sprouts or both?
Bosun
11-08-2004, 04:28 PM
A: To block the sound of your other half snoring
:D :p :D
Bosun
11-08-2004, 04:29 PM
Marmite or sprouts or both?
curried twiglets on a wednesday
is that a canoe in your pocket?
saxman
11-08-2004, 08:03 PM
A no its a cricket bat
Q do spacehoppers ever fall over
Bosun
11-08-2004, 09:20 PM
weebles wobble bbut dont fall down
do you have it faster and in pink?
WeaverII
11-08-2004, 09:56 PM
A: Yes madam, but it eats batteries
Q: how much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
rommel
11-08-2004, 10:15 PM
A) depends how heavy the wood is
Q)what would you do with a drunken sailor? :D
WeaverII
11-08-2004, 11:29 PM
A: a drunken sail or what?
Q: are you now, or have you ever been?
saxman
11-08-2004, 11:51 PM
A never have been and never will
Q are muppets real?
Huw Beer Monster
12-08-2004, 07:55 AM
A: Yes, I'm one.
Q: What's your best memory of a rally?
A The day Martin Skanke won
Q Why do wasps like beer
Huw Beer Monster
12-08-2004, 12:16 PM
A: Because they have sense
Q: Is lager a beer?
A no lager is a bier
Q where does the phrase "tits Up' come from
WeaverII
12-08-2004, 07:57 PM
A: it's directions for ornithologists
Q: (getting back to bikes) are my bars too high?
saxman
12-08-2004, 08:15 PM
A only if your arms are on back to front
Q what time does the last bus leave
WeaverII
12-08-2004, 10:06 PM
A: it doesn't leave much time at all, particularly when it goes early
Q: what's under my seat?
rommel
12-08-2004, 10:22 PM
A) depends what your sitting on
Q) whats in a bath? :confused:
Bosun
12-08-2004, 11:02 PM
rip off tourist traps
so how much can i rev it?
Rabid
13-08-2004, 09:38 AM
At 0500hrs on rally site to the rev limiter.
scrap it or rat it?
Huw Beer Monster
13-08-2004, 09:40 AM
A: You can rat a 70s MFI bathroom suite? Cool!
Q: Nitrous boost or Cadbury's Boost?
Rabid
13-08-2004, 09:46 AM
Cadbuys boost on a gixer cool.
why is it called a Bates lamp?
BlackPig
13-08-2004, 07:21 PM
Cos every 'norman' has one
What ??
WeaverII
13-08-2004, 09:23 PM
A: a volt times an amp
B: how should I protect my tank?
Dougie
13-08-2004, 09:43 PM
A:Anti infra red camo paint and Chobham armour!
Q:Challenger or M1 Abrams?
Sheltie
13-08-2004, 10:57 PM
Lincoln was the better president
Gas or electric?
blackhack
14-08-2004, 01:22 AM
a/ idiots delight
q/ straining grilled gerbills
WeaverII
14-08-2004, 09:06 AM
A: they'll put their back out if they're not careful
Q: what's the correct braking technique?
Dougie
14-08-2004, 09:12 AM
A:Use a 2lb lump hammer!
Q:Westlife :p or New Model Army? :)
Sheltie
14-08-2004, 12:56 PM
New model army won Naseby with Cromwell at the helm.
Who listens to acid these days?
Dougie
14-08-2004, 03:20 PM
A:Only when you drop the stiff in the bath!
Q:Mars bars or Aztec bars?
saxman
14-08-2004, 07:00 PM
A kit kat ta
Q why do hoovers suck
WeaverII
14-08-2004, 08:55 PM
A: because they havn't got any teeth
Q: are my rims straight?
saxman
15-08-2004, 12:16 AM
A bend over and look in the mirror
Q is my handlebar bent?
bunbag
15-08-2004, 04:53 AM
should i turn the engine over or bolt it back into the frame
A Yes turn your enginer into a frame
Q Why didn't you give an answer?
Rabid
15-08-2004, 10:45 AM
i didnt ask a question.
bollox in or bollox out
A if you only have one testicle, you probably wouldn't want a bollockin.
Q slim shady or slim fast?
Dougie
15-08-2004, 11:02 AM
A:Fat b*stard
Q:Am I missing something?
A Possibly
Q Where didn't you last see it?
Dougie
15-08-2004, 11:09 AM
A:Over there....
Q:Mice or gerbils?
saxman
15-08-2004, 11:10 AM
A dont know
Q where did i lose it
A If I knew that it wouldn't be lost
Q Why do nipples go hard in the cold
BlackPig
15-08-2004, 01:02 PM
Cos they ain't greased proper.
Is that a gun in yer pocket ?
Dougie
15-08-2004, 02:08 PM
A:No,and I'm not pleased to see you!
Q:Do you have a licence for your monkey?
rommel
15-08-2004, 02:58 PM
A)no, but I have for my hog
Q)Why do fish swim?
WeaverII
15-08-2004, 03:10 PM
A: How bored would fish be if they didn't?
B: What should I do with this rusty nail?
Bosun
15-08-2004, 05:27 PM
A. Mix it with you screwdriver
Q. If you bury a musical person are they decomposing?
Sheltie
15-08-2004, 06:52 PM
A. Composting is a great way to use up your left over vegetables.
Q. What happens if you flick this button?
Dougie
15-08-2004, 07:04 PM
A:BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
Q:Was ist das?
saxman
15-08-2004, 07:26 PM
A das is gut
Q why am i sober
WeaverII
15-08-2004, 08:01 PM
A: because you're tight
Q: why am I tight?
Dougie
15-08-2004, 08:13 PM
A:Because you're sober.
Q:Why am I doing this?
Bosun
15-08-2004, 08:20 PM
A its better than the other
Q.. should it be painted black or nucleaur red?
saxman
16-08-2004, 12:28 AM
A no pink is the new nuclear red,
Q wtf is nuclear red?
A A Russian Submarine
Q Do you burn your mouth on poptarts
Huw Beer Monster
16-08-2004, 09:48 AM
A: I've never met Kylie or any of the Spice Girls, so I can't comment
Q: Road rash or knob rot?
A How the hell did you find that out?
Q English Banger or Frankferter
blackhack
16-08-2004, 11:19 AM
Q/ Bollocks
A/Testicles...(Bollocks)
A Nadgers (although I do like the word bollocks)
Q What are those two spherical protrusions between your legs?
Bosun
16-08-2004, 04:26 PM
A.. My girlfriend and her best friend
Q. was it good for you?
Born2bVile
16-08-2004, 06:11 PM
No, it never behaves.
Does the pope **** in the woods?
WeaverII
16-08-2004, 06:15 PM
A: What's the point of starring in the woods when there's no-one there to see you?
Q: Are bears Catholic?
Dougie
16-08-2004, 06:16 PM
A:Pandas are Buddhist!
Q:Why are Orange County Choppers not orange?
A because there isn't any purple rain
Q Can you get into trouble for giving a girl a finger of fudge
saxman
16-08-2004, 08:12 PM
A depends where
Q do sheep have false teeth
A only the inflatable ones
Q If a dinosaur who has eaten a vindaloo is a MEGASAURAS, what is one that eats toast called
Bosun
16-08-2004, 09:49 PM
A: Paul Young and the royal family
Q: whats that clanking noise?
Huw Beer Monster
17-08-2004, 08:16 AM
A: Me taking the wheels off
Q: Anyone want to buy some wheels, going cheap?
Santa
17-08-2004, 10:53 AM
A: Grease the bearings, that should quieten them down.
Q: Who put the bop in the bop-sho-whop-do-whop?
elifan
17-08-2004, 10:54 AM
A. didn't realise you could get them to make that noise.
Q. is it wrong to get a twin pack if you're an only child?
glad my first post was an intellectual one, Hi all.
Sheltie
17-08-2004, 11:37 AM
A. You could always go large.
Q. Would you like to supersize that, sir?
saxman
17-08-2004, 07:25 PM
A yes please
Q ohmigod how much bigger is this thing goin to be
WeaverII
17-08-2004, 07:26 PM
A: Handy tip: I know you used to work in a McDonalds, but that is NOT the question to ask in a Chemist's shop.......
Q: Whatever is the world coming to?
Dougie
17-08-2004, 07:40 PM
A:The Edinburgh Festival
Q:Why won't they leave us alone?
saxman
17-08-2004, 07:59 PM
A cos they fancy us
Q what coulour pants am i wearing
Huw Beer Monster
18-08-2004, 08:07 AM
A: They're not pants, that's a thong
Q: Did Thor thing thongs while thitting in the thaddle?
Dougie
18-08-2004, 06:51 PM
A:No,thitting on the thitter!
Q:What's happening?
A SMELLS like it's already happened mate
Q what happened to Orvil
Bosun
18-08-2004, 09:44 PM
a: mmm plum sauce...
q. what is the torque setting for this nut?
Sheltie
18-08-2004, 09:44 PM
A. He crashed his brothers plane.
Q. What colour is a red London Bus?
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