kitkatman
24-06-2005, 03:22 PM
my wife has been having problems with the birth control pill she has been on for ages, so she trondles of to the doctors and the quack tells her she's overweight and puts her on these 'get skinny pills', but the only thing is, she has to change her pill and that means no sex for 2 weeks ( whilst the pill kicks in properly) and it might make her periods erractic, (oh fuckin goody, i am thinking :( ).
so she starts taking the new pill and has her first period with them and it last's 3 weeks...that's 5 whole weeks without a sniff of snatch and she is like a raging bloody lunatic for that time ( did'nt help though when she said 'keith do you love me' i replied ' yes of coarse' then i got ' do you trust me, which my answer was 'no', 'and why fucking not' she shouts....to the answer of ' would you trust something that bleeds for 3 weeks and do'snt die!' ( really dropped myself in the mire with that one ).
so back to the doctors ( after lots of ear ache of me ) and the doctor takes her of the pill and says that the best thing to do was to get a coil fitted.. but thats a 3 week wait, so inbetween then we have to take precautions as not to add to the brood.
so little ole me gets sent to the chemists to buy a pack of condoms,
i trondle in to the chemists and see the 19 year old assistant and ask her outright ' can i have a large packet of durex, please', 'what kind' is her reply.....' the one's i can put on my knob would be nice' i come back with.
'what are they for' she asks....( i really thought she was taking the piss and I am starting to loose my rag a bit )..' so i can shag my wife, as i have'nt had a ride in 5 weeks, so can you hurry up'( there's a differnce between virginal and anal).......'what size' she then asks....'i thought they were all one size' i reply looking absolutly stunned.....
'well' she says ( i thought this was fucking qual ) ' there are 3 sizes, the small for people who's penis is upto 3 inches, medium for those upto 6 inches and large for those upto 14 inches and what size would sir like'........i ain't just stunned, i am gobsmacked......well i should image around about the largish, but if you want to give me a tape measure i will drop my kegs and start thumping one out in the middle of the fuckin shop if you like and when i have a fuckin great lob on, you can measure it for me, if you don't mind'
she reclined my offer and i brought my sap bags (8.99! :eek: ), now the problem was i thought i was the only one in the que....but no....the chemist was full and there were people sniggering and staring at me after listening to what we were saying, including the wife ( who was pissing herself with laughter)..........
so what i want to know is, is there any truth in the size thing....
all's well that ends well and at least i got to use 4 of them during the coarse of the day and evening....... :D
so she starts taking the new pill and has her first period with them and it last's 3 weeks...that's 5 whole weeks without a sniff of snatch and she is like a raging bloody lunatic for that time ( did'nt help though when she said 'keith do you love me' i replied ' yes of coarse' then i got ' do you trust me, which my answer was 'no', 'and why fucking not' she shouts....to the answer of ' would you trust something that bleeds for 3 weeks and do'snt die!' ( really dropped myself in the mire with that one ).
so back to the doctors ( after lots of ear ache of me ) and the doctor takes her of the pill and says that the best thing to do was to get a coil fitted.. but thats a 3 week wait, so inbetween then we have to take precautions as not to add to the brood.
so little ole me gets sent to the chemists to buy a pack of condoms,
i trondle in to the chemists and see the 19 year old assistant and ask her outright ' can i have a large packet of durex, please', 'what kind' is her reply.....' the one's i can put on my knob would be nice' i come back with.
'what are they for' she asks....( i really thought she was taking the piss and I am starting to loose my rag a bit )..' so i can shag my wife, as i have'nt had a ride in 5 weeks, so can you hurry up'( there's a differnce between virginal and anal).......'what size' she then asks....'i thought they were all one size' i reply looking absolutly stunned.....
'well' she says ( i thought this was fucking qual ) ' there are 3 sizes, the small for people who's penis is upto 3 inches, medium for those upto 6 inches and large for those upto 14 inches and what size would sir like'........i ain't just stunned, i am gobsmacked......well i should image around about the largish, but if you want to give me a tape measure i will drop my kegs and start thumping one out in the middle of the fuckin shop if you like and when i have a fuckin great lob on, you can measure it for me, if you don't mind'
she reclined my offer and i brought my sap bags (8.99! :eek: ), now the problem was i thought i was the only one in the que....but no....the chemist was full and there were people sniggering and staring at me after listening to what we were saying, including the wife ( who was pissing herself with laughter)..........
so what i want to know is, is there any truth in the size thing....
all's well that ends well and at least i got to use 4 of them during the coarse of the day and evening....... :D