Freelancer
02-07-2004, 12:05 PM
Hey folks
Thought I’d stick my head around the door and say hi to ya all.
For my opening gambit, thought I’d tell you of a lil mishap that happened to me and my Kawasaki ZZR1100 a couple of weeks ago.
Monday morning, the sun is shining in the sky. Everything felt good. So good infact I offered to take my eldest to school on the bike and do a bit o breaky in town and some shopping after seeing as I have the day off. Boy was I wrong! A mile or so down the road I pulled up at the junction and spotted a bit of a wreck in my rear view, and old Ford Escort to be exact. Having a few problems by the sound of it, doesn’t smell to healthy either. Must have a dodgy exhaust or something. Junction clear and we all move off. Traffic is heavy so I hold back a little as have the fruit of my loins on the back. The Escort is still chugging away and it smells like he’s got a real problem. At last a safe gap and I manoeuvre forward and through the traffic making good ground, the poor sod in the Escort being left behind to sort out his Monday morning problem. Another set of lights at red and we come to a halt. Smells like my mate in the Escort has caught me up. *looks in mirror* Nope… not a sign of him! Strange where’s that burning smell coming from, and why’s my right leg getting warmer? *looks down* ‘Kin ell, mi tackles on fire! :eek: At this point the special effects department from The Matrix show up, ‘cos everything started to slowdown. Flames are licking around the tank (not the painted variety) as well as my bollocks, and call me old-fashioned but the only licking I want around my nether regions my lady takes care of quite nicely thank you very much, and you can’t do it on the public highway at 8am on a Monday morning. Well… you could, but we won’t go there! I looked around me for somewhere to put the bike and deal with the impending motorcycle inferno, and decided against the Esso forecourt, (don’t think they’d have been too impressed!) I got my son off the bike pronto, and ride it to a nearby deserted bus stop out of the flow of traffic and away from pedestrians. I dive off the bike and try to smother the now growing flames with my jacket. The Monday morning rush hour is well impressed, “Look Doris some chap with a burning motorcycle is going to keep us entertained. Lets slow down and watch!” Eventually some wag pulls up, winds down his window and says, “Is it a fire mate?” I look at the flames caressing the tank, The once gleaming black and chrome of my “Kwack” now looking a little worse for ware. I decide to improve his vocabulary considerably with a few choice words I’ll wager he hasn’t heard before, when he jumps from his car which he leaves in the now stationary traffic. A man with a mission armed with an extinguisher he dashes over to my burning pride and joy and covers it with dry powder, killing the flames before they can take hold and really make this interesting for the Monday morning commuters. Who are my now very appreciative of the mornings unexpected entertainment. My bike has now been transformed from gleaming black and chrome to powder drenched fag ash grey, not one inch was untouched by the stuff! Me thinks a little carried away he got! Quick as a flash, fire out, he dropped the spent extinguisher to the floor and dives back into his car which by now is holding up the traffic as he abandoned it in the middle of the carriageway adding to the congestion caused by the rubber neck brigade, and drives off with out a by your leave! Zap Pow Farwell! Who was that masked man? Fucked if I know! I glanced across a my son who by now has joined me on the footway. He’s on his mobile
“Who are you calling…” I enquire, “the school to tell them that you’ll be late?”
“Naw… my mate to tell him what’s happening! That was way cool!” Kids!
In the distance the noise of commuter traffic is slowly drowned out by a new sound to pierce the cool morning air. Now what? “Nee-naw, nee-naw, woow, woow, woow!” Aww for fucks sake, some good Samaritans asked Fireman Sam and his mates to come and play! When they arrive and see that my own efforts and those of my anonymous wannabe fireman-Sam have the situation in hand, they turn around after taking a few details, and head off in the direction they came from muttering something about Monday mornings, burning bikes, and cold bacon and eggs! (Sorry boys!)
To the wannabe fireman who stopped to help, if you are reading this (what are the odds on that?) thank- you for your timely assistance. E-mail me and I’ll buy you a beer.
So there you have it. My Monday morning from hell, complete with flames. Still waiting on the insurance assessor to give us the ok to get going with the repairs. But hopefully it won’t take too long. I’m not sure of the details yet, I didn’t strip the bike but It turns out the fuel pump went, and the resulting fire actually looked worse than it was!
Monday morning stories. Can anyone top that?
Thought I’d stick my head around the door and say hi to ya all.
For my opening gambit, thought I’d tell you of a lil mishap that happened to me and my Kawasaki ZZR1100 a couple of weeks ago.
Monday morning, the sun is shining in the sky. Everything felt good. So good infact I offered to take my eldest to school on the bike and do a bit o breaky in town and some shopping after seeing as I have the day off. Boy was I wrong! A mile or so down the road I pulled up at the junction and spotted a bit of a wreck in my rear view, and old Ford Escort to be exact. Having a few problems by the sound of it, doesn’t smell to healthy either. Must have a dodgy exhaust or something. Junction clear and we all move off. Traffic is heavy so I hold back a little as have the fruit of my loins on the back. The Escort is still chugging away and it smells like he’s got a real problem. At last a safe gap and I manoeuvre forward and through the traffic making good ground, the poor sod in the Escort being left behind to sort out his Monday morning problem. Another set of lights at red and we come to a halt. Smells like my mate in the Escort has caught me up. *looks in mirror* Nope… not a sign of him! Strange where’s that burning smell coming from, and why’s my right leg getting warmer? *looks down* ‘Kin ell, mi tackles on fire! :eek: At this point the special effects department from The Matrix show up, ‘cos everything started to slowdown. Flames are licking around the tank (not the painted variety) as well as my bollocks, and call me old-fashioned but the only licking I want around my nether regions my lady takes care of quite nicely thank you very much, and you can’t do it on the public highway at 8am on a Monday morning. Well… you could, but we won’t go there! I looked around me for somewhere to put the bike and deal with the impending motorcycle inferno, and decided against the Esso forecourt, (don’t think they’d have been too impressed!) I got my son off the bike pronto, and ride it to a nearby deserted bus stop out of the flow of traffic and away from pedestrians. I dive off the bike and try to smother the now growing flames with my jacket. The Monday morning rush hour is well impressed, “Look Doris some chap with a burning motorcycle is going to keep us entertained. Lets slow down and watch!” Eventually some wag pulls up, winds down his window and says, “Is it a fire mate?” I look at the flames caressing the tank, The once gleaming black and chrome of my “Kwack” now looking a little worse for ware. I decide to improve his vocabulary considerably with a few choice words I’ll wager he hasn’t heard before, when he jumps from his car which he leaves in the now stationary traffic. A man with a mission armed with an extinguisher he dashes over to my burning pride and joy and covers it with dry powder, killing the flames before they can take hold and really make this interesting for the Monday morning commuters. Who are my now very appreciative of the mornings unexpected entertainment. My bike has now been transformed from gleaming black and chrome to powder drenched fag ash grey, not one inch was untouched by the stuff! Me thinks a little carried away he got! Quick as a flash, fire out, he dropped the spent extinguisher to the floor and dives back into his car which by now is holding up the traffic as he abandoned it in the middle of the carriageway adding to the congestion caused by the rubber neck brigade, and drives off with out a by your leave! Zap Pow Farwell! Who was that masked man? Fucked if I know! I glanced across a my son who by now has joined me on the footway. He’s on his mobile
“Who are you calling…” I enquire, “the school to tell them that you’ll be late?”
“Naw… my mate to tell him what’s happening! That was way cool!” Kids!
In the distance the noise of commuter traffic is slowly drowned out by a new sound to pierce the cool morning air. Now what? “Nee-naw, nee-naw, woow, woow, woow!” Aww for fucks sake, some good Samaritans asked Fireman Sam and his mates to come and play! When they arrive and see that my own efforts and those of my anonymous wannabe fireman-Sam have the situation in hand, they turn around after taking a few details, and head off in the direction they came from muttering something about Monday mornings, burning bikes, and cold bacon and eggs! (Sorry boys!)
To the wannabe fireman who stopped to help, if you are reading this (what are the odds on that?) thank- you for your timely assistance. E-mail me and I’ll buy you a beer.
So there you have it. My Monday morning from hell, complete with flames. Still waiting on the insurance assessor to give us the ok to get going with the repairs. But hopefully it won’t take too long. I’m not sure of the details yet, I didn’t strip the bike but It turns out the fuel pump went, and the resulting fire actually looked worse than it was!
Monday morning stories. Can anyone top that?