RedRobbie Rants again

[RedRobbie]

I'm a proud parent of 2 kids aged 6 and 8 , both go to school and both have many friends. What concerns me now is the amount of attention that all children are getting from their schools and parents. For example my kids go to football, gym, jujitsu, drama ,brownies and cubs. Ok these are all good activites and should be encouraged. These activities are typical of their peers. But these are all organised and supervised events. Responsible adults looking out for our kids. In school they have circle time to sit down and disscuss their fears and problems particu;aly bullying. If a child has stress or any issues we adults will listen then advise and this is a good thing to a certain degre. Now i have the same worries for my children as any other parent the biggest being the amount of traffic on the roads, boy racer chavs to senile gerriatric drivers. Also the child molesters lurking in our streets and alleyways waiting to pounce. so its little wonder that we dont like our children to play out unsupervised. So our kids , with the best intentions, are safely cocooned into a well organised world where everything can be resolved by comunication. This is what scares me . Where will it lead? I learned the most valuable lessons in the playground and out on street corners. Lessons that could only be learned the hard way without adult interference. Mostly i learned that life isnt fair and sometimes you have to put up with that. I learnt how and when to fight back. How and when not to. So where will our children develope these life skills if we as parents dont allow them to play out and take their ouwn chances. In todays caring nurturing society wheres the option to say "your on your own kid , this is somthing that YOU have to deal with on your own in your own way." I believe independence is the greatest achiement anyone can make but i shudder to think what kind of adults we are creating

[minxy]

Life has changed. Society has changed. Just the same as the parents of 60's children no doubt did some hand wringing. 'It wasnt like this when I were a lad...' etc etc

In 15 or so years time, we'll find out what the next generation has in store for us and in 30 or so, maybe we'll still be here when they are running the country.

Times move on. Fact of life.

[slob]

Unfortunately Robbie with the proliferation of things like the internet, people with who were once considered deviants can now chat and exchange media concerning their deviation. This then legitimises their perversion (in their collective minds) escalating the danger on our children.

We now live in a disposable culture where presents at easter are now common place instead of eggs. Kids of 8yrs plus with £300 Ipods and mobile phones equal to or better than their parents. Never has media or nmarketing been so successful example:

My girls 4 & 6 have NEVER seen Star Wars yet they know all the characters and want all the tiys. This is purely down to the marketing. Our children are exposed to approximately 1000 marketing images a day, billboards, TV , cereal boxes , can's of drink on TV programmes etc.

There is no reason why we should expect our children to be conscience of the dangers in society. But, in our efforts to maintain their innocence and childhood we actually expose them to a much greater risk.


we are in a sorry state but we still demand more from media, more gore, more sex, more realism. We want it harder and faster , in order to get what we want we have to sacrifice simplicity, innocence and tolerance.

I think. :D

[Bag Lady]

I agree with Minxy..Life has changed and so have the lessons the kids have to learn...They have to deal with drugs in the playground (no pun intended) and how to cope with those issues. They have to learn how not to be conned on the internet. How to avoid having their identities cloned etc.....These are the today issues and all you can do is to advise them.

There will still be plenty of things that they will have to make decisions on and plenty of mistakes that they will learn by.....dont worry, they will learn and no doubt give you a few scary moments...

For each old thing that we had to learn the hard way, technology and IT are providing plenty of alternatives.....

In 15 years time you will look at your kids and be proud of them.... :D.
If you are concerned it just means that you are a good parent and you care...With a parent like you, your kids will blossom and thrive whatever the outside world throws at them... :)

[Jay]

I had a thought on this subject the other day.

I was thinking about what life must have been like 1000's of years ago when survival was only about finding food, water and shelter.

I thought how different life is now, these things are generally taken for granted by most of us and I'm bringing my children up the same way.

I worried about what I am teaching my kids, but having thought some more, decided I'm doing the best I know how.

I want to show my kids that morals and values are more important than a hard punch. I can teach my boys at any time how to 'look after themselves' but what you can't do is teach morals.

My own philosophy on living in the 'free world' is quite simple (like me):

'PEOPLE ARE NOT DESIGNED TO LIVE TOGETHER, SOCIETY ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PREPARED TO TOLERATE THE WAYS OF OTHERS.

WHEN THE DAY COMES WHERE I AM NO LONGER WILLING TO ACCEPT THAT MY OWN IMPORTANCE IS ONLY EQUAL TO THAT OF MY FELLOW MAN, THEN I AM ONCE MORE SIMPLY AN ANIMAL'

[Mrs Reject]

Where we live is unusual in that it's on the outskirts of town in a no drive thru close with an enormous central green (bit like a village) and we all watch out for the kids.
There are no footpaths in or out, just one main entrance so noone can sneak off with a kid without everyone seeing.
The kids play outside all day on bikes, go-karts etc and leave their toys out all night and never seem to go in to watch t.v. nothing ever gets knicked and the kids are free to do whatever they want.
Every other house is a biker's house too - I think we died and went to heaven.
Whoever designed these houses (most ex-council) did a great job, and really considered the needs of families and community. If only more estates were designed like this one our kids would be able to go out and play and get into scrapes without everyone being worried about abduction and the main road. It's the sort of place where because of the design everyone knows everyone else and all the neighbours have at least one or two "getting to know everyone" barbeques on the green in summer.
I wish we had lived in a place like this when mine was a kid - as it was the last house was not the sort of place you could let your kids out to play safely.

[RedRobbie]

It just worries me that children ,through our irational fear, are not developing their own street smarts.We are generaly prepared through experience to deal with nearly all situations especialy self defence. I'm not just talking about sticking yer dukes up but recognising when you're in danger and reacting accordingly.

Schools today are teaching rational behaviour. About recognising other peoples emotional needs, and questioning and anylizing the negative sides of your peers. I dont advocate violence I see it as a last resort but sometimes it is more effective than words but knowing where and when its appropriate is being ignored.

e.g. In our local school you are not allowed to teach your kids the simple lesson of "if some one hits you, then you hit them back" any child found following that philosophy is sent home and their parents sent for and told that if this behaviour continues you will have to take your child out of the school.But the bully who started it is excused as that child may have an attention deficiency problem. Mad i know but true of our times.

[BikerGran]

I know what you mean Robbie, I guess it's true that times change and the way the kids are brought up has to change too but I too worry about how they are ever going to get streetwise and learn to stand on their own.

My kids are grown up now but when my older daughter was 9 I got a lot of stick for letting her walk to school on her own - 1 mile on a main road with other kids walking with parents or cycling, I thought the experience was worth the risk, she'd been taught what to do if anyone approached her.

The other thing that worries me is the lack of discipline, the teachers have absolutely no way of ensuring that children do as they are told, and neither do the parents really. My kids knew what was expected - and knew what to expect if they didn't behave, and I still think a smack is a suitable way to deal with a kid who refuses to do as they're told. But I was horrified to discover that the accepted thing now is to bribe children to be good - my grand-daughter (age 3) gets stars on a chart, when she's got enough she gets money! It's not a lot of money but I am shocked at the principle of paying kids to behave!

I believe that by not giving kids any discipline we are seriously failing to equip them for the future.

[Blurt]

jees were do i start?

well first off I have a 6 yr old (b/day last sat).


now to me he is a normal boy, loves bikes (my influence :D ) is inquistive, likes the outdoors, I bring him camping and fishing and out on boats, he learns so much and likes it.

He knows when he has done something wrong, which isn't often and get's punished accordingly.... stand in the corner while I watch cartoons :D

his school has their own psychiatrist... says he has adhd cause he climbs tree's (once in school) always talking (and?) and losses concentration....

I had to go to a ADHD clinic with him.. for east belfast (there own clinic) was in the doctors room for over an hour... doctor didn't listen to a word I said, then said that Ryan had been in every corner of the room and prob had ADHD... course I went off on one, here for a 'kin hour! every corner.. what has he wrecked...

then he said about films.. can he watch them.... yes I say's if it interests him, (he watches fishing documentarys FFS!) then play station... oh he has no concentration unless it's exciting.....

basically a child must sit still and not fidget even if nothing is happening.. and if something is happenng then they probably caused it. :mad:

course the school psyco doesn't need to diagnose them, nor does the clinic, the school doesn't get extra funding, and she doesn't get DLA

what a 'kin joke... everyone gains except for my son, who wll be fed untested drugs, that early results indicate, most child users suffer severe depression n adulthood..