PDA

View Full Version : women


pale rider
25-11-2013, 02:39 PM
not wanting to ignite the women in the mag debate (guess it will) but here is a thought, after seeing the owner of the featured bike, me thought it looks natural, he sorted complemented the bike that he had built, so why not photo the owner with the bike and not the model.

100%Pat
28-11-2013, 09:20 PM
We did actually try that years ago, I persuaded the powers that be, to keep the totty off the cover bikes at least... we did it for three issues I think... sales dropped like a stone... sadly totty, tits and all the bits seem to go with the bikes, it certainly is the case at rallies ... its a lifestyle thing...

BikerGran
28-11-2013, 09:40 PM
Speaking as a female - I remember when that experiment was tried and you can't argue with circulation figures if you want the mag to continue BUT - it is irritating when you can't see the bike for the body!

harry
28-11-2013, 10:19 PM
IMHO it depends on the bike.

If it's a mega bucks show bike I don't mind a lightly attired lady in my line of view.

When it's a shed built work of love I'd rather see the owner/builder with it. The bike should reflect their personality.

I do understand it can be a problem for the ladies working on or reading the mag, but my good lady likes to compare herself to the girls in the piccies, and is often uncomplimentary about them.

Funny ol' world innit.

lowrider
28-11-2013, 11:19 PM
I also recall having the more "normal" women being used as models in mag with bikes.
Normal as in not pin thin glam models
I liked that but it seems they had a lot of abuse via forums/letters etc:(

ChopperFXR
29-11-2013, 12:58 AM
I photograph and film a lot of girls/women. The professional models are doing a job and they do work bloody hard for their money. Some do it because they love it and get a kick out of it. Others do it as a means to an end. Either way I have a great deal of respect for them. I have worked with some of the best girls known on the glamour and fetish scene, been a joy to work with all of them.

The private work that I do, involves a hell of a lot of "Normal" women. Women that have had children and women that work a full time job besides doing a bit of modelling for their own reasons. I meet a huge variety of women through the fetish scene. Some are absolutely stunning without making any effort. Others have to hide the ravages of time with a bit of make up, or they ask me to hide certain bits that may not look quite so good on film or image.

Got to say, it takes guts for any girl/woman to get in front of a camera. Professional model or otherwise. She will never know what most of the viewers of her pictures or film will think of her looks or her efforts. Sometimes she may get very complimentary remarks or even fan mail. Most of the girls get no credit for what they do, which is a great shame.

As blokes we can make or break a girls fortune. We can destroy her confidence and I dare any of you blokes to deny that he has never made a derogatory comment about a woman at some time. I know for certain that whatever way you portray a girl in film or images, somebody will slate her for being too fat, too short, blond or redhead, too many or not enough tattoos.

All comes down to personal preferences, but that does not give any of us blokes the right to slate those that do not appeal to any one of us individually. Those that write nasty comments on public forums about a girl for the way she looks, should maybe take a long hard look in the mirror first. Lets face it guys, bikers in general are not usually known for their sartorial elegance, personal hygene or eloquence. Not so long ago it was customary for a huge percentage of us to wear "Originals" and delight in the shock factor of looking like the inside of a dustbin.

Pictures of bikes with half naked girlies draped across them have been with us for years, hopefully that will never change. For everyone that complains about a girls leg covering a part of the engine they want to see, there will be a great many more that love the same girls backside or boobs.

Don't blame the girl for that, blame our culture. Those pictures with the girl in them may be the reason that a particular issue sells really well. Without good sales, we all lose our monthly treat of a new issue.

Perhaps before you complain about an image, you could use your time to compose a letter to the editor, without slating anybody, including the model, asking for what you would like to see in the mag. A polite well written letter will get a more positive response than a scribbled note slagging somebody off. Making nasty or rude comments about a model for any reason, does nobody any good. Least of all the person making such nasty comments.

Think about it guys. You want pretty and happy girls posing for our lecherous delight, then have some respect for the girls and their efforts.

Just my opinion based on many years experience working with some absolutely wonderful women.

Chopper

Worjorj
29-11-2013, 08:48 AM
Well said that man :thumbu:

100%Pat
29-11-2013, 09:40 AM
I agree the bike should be more prominent than the girls boobs... and hopefully the girl is posed well so over a variety of shots the whole bike is seen.... but girls and bikes... well its how its always been...

lowrider
29-11-2013, 11:11 AM
Well put Chopper and i always ask any bloke,or women for that matter,who feel the need to post neg comments on another person to put up or shut up.
Get your kit off and lets see how perfect you are :D

devon-tony
29-11-2013, 01:07 PM
Well put Chopper and i always ask any bloke,or women for that matter. Get your kit off and lets see how perfect you are :D

each to their own :) LOL

ChopperFXR
29-11-2013, 02:39 PM
Well put Chopper and i always ask any bloke,or women for that matter,who feel the need to post neg comments on another person to put up or shut up.
Get your kit off and lets see how perfect you are :D

As an experienced fetish photographer, I have taken pictures and filmed many things that would make your hair curl. Women doing things to themselves and other women is great, (And I get to watch!!). Couples shagging or doing things to each other is quite normal.

However, I draw the line at taking pictures of just blokes with no clothes on.

Standards must be maintained you know old chap.

Chopper

Mortis
29-11-2013, 07:56 PM
I seem to recall one of the magazines doing a double sided centrefold where one side had the bike with the builder behind it and the other side had the bike with a model, topless or not. That way, you could choose which side you put up if you wanted to. If it's going up in the club house toilets, it's the side with the model* or if it's going up in the garage to provide inspiration, it's the bike and builder.

This may have been a one off or I could just have imagined it.



*Obviously not in my club for those who know which club I'm in ;)

100%Pat
29-11-2013, 08:19 PM
At one point 100% did a double sided calendar for exactly that reason...
:thumbsu:

100%Pat
29-11-2013, 08:20 PM
Hmmm anyone remember the issue where I printed the 'Odgie's Knob ' article... feckin funny...
Not when the boss saw it in print though...

Mortis
29-11-2013, 09:31 PM
At one point 100% did a double sided calendar for exactly that reason...
:thumbsu:

Oh, it might have been that I was recalling... :o

Still, it's a very good idea :D

Izzadora
29-11-2013, 10:42 PM
I find totty draped over a bike annoying...

but that's only because I'm past my sell by date.

harry
29-11-2013, 10:52 PM
I find totty draped over a bike annoying...

but that's only because I'm past my sell by date.

Don't worry most of us on here are old and knackered. :D

ChopperFXR
30-11-2013, 12:41 AM
Don't worry most of us on here are old and knackered. :D

Harry, last time I saw you, you were positively fucked mate. So much so that I wondered if you were going to bother ordering a turkey for Christmas. :D:D

Chopper

John Hopkins
30-11-2013, 01:42 AM
I'm very close to 70, I love women, dressed, undressed, as long as they have a sense of humour..I would enjoy meeting Jo Brand or that bird with the amazing blue eyes in "coupling" and Mariella Frostrup, and of course Felicity Kendal.

I'm not too keen on men though.

John.

harry
01-12-2013, 05:14 PM
Harry, last time I saw you, you were positively fucked mate. So much so that I wondered if you were going to bother ordering a turkey for Christmas. :D:D

Chopper

No I ordered Lois to get one. :thumbsu:

Oh f**k she's back in the room :eek:

Glyn aka Kingo
02-12-2013, 11:25 AM
Sadly I am of an age that remembers bike magazines that never featured women in a state of undress, the magazines were all about bikes in them days.

scouselee
02-12-2013, 05:02 PM
Sadly I am of an age that remembers bike magazines that never featured women in a state of undress, the magazines were all about bikes in them days.

I have a cupboard full of those, all dating from the 50s. Incredible reading

100%Pat
02-12-2013, 06:21 PM
Somehow, I think some of you are missing the point a little... when we created 100%Biker, its was not just as a Custom bike magazine, but a lifestyle magazine. Thats the rallies, the clubs, the bikes the jokes, the music and the people... yeah and the tits ...Obviously the bikes are a massive amd most important part... but not the whole ...:thumbsu:

BikerGran
03-12-2013, 12:54 AM
I don't see that Chopper's long post above was really necessary - no-one was slagging off the girls who appear in the pictures, Pale rider was just saying that he likes to see the owner with the bike rather than a model - seems to me a perfectly valid point of view even though it's unlikely to happen.

John Hopkins
03-12-2013, 01:52 PM
I don't see that Chopper's long post above was really necessary - no-one was slagging off the girls who appear in the pictures, Pale rider was just saying that he likes to see the owner with the bike rather than a model - seems to me a perfectly valid point of view even though it's unlikely to happen.

Very true..but if we only made posts that were necessary I think my post count would go down to two.

John.

BikerGran
03-12-2013, 04:07 PM
That was me being polite - don't knock, it doesn'y happen all that often - the word I really wanted was 'un-called for'.

ChopperFXR
03-12-2013, 05:44 PM
I don't see that Chopper's long post above was really necessary - no-one was slagging off the girls who appear in the pictures, Pale rider was just saying that he likes to see the owner with the bike rather than a model - seems to me a perfectly valid point of view even though it's unlikely to happen.

The points I made were valid to those that have any experience of modelling or photography. Plus those that moan about a girls looks, for whatever reason. In your rush to criticise my post I think you completely missed what was said.

Was there really any point to your post?

Chopper

harry
03-12-2013, 05:46 PM
I thought Chopper was replying to Lowrider's comment on models being insulted.

Surely that makes it relevant to the conversation.

Grav
03-12-2013, 06:05 PM
I thought he was just talking bollocks as usual.....

:whistle::gone:

100%Pat
03-12-2013, 07:16 PM
I thought he was just talking bollocks as usual.....

:whistle::gone:
Oh well said that little man ...
I think I stupidly missed something good on your programme last night didnt I...
:eek::mad:

Grav
03-12-2013, 09:13 PM
Yes, you did.

Play it now, play it now...... :D

Repeat show is Wednesday at 4pm GMT ;)

100%Pat
03-12-2013, 09:25 PM
I best make sure I listen then... thank you..:thumbsu:

BikerGran
03-12-2013, 10:18 PM
In your rush to criticise my post .......


Oh I didn't rush, I think it was about 10 hours later............ but I'm happy to agree to disagree..........

:)

MadMart
30-12-2013, 11:32 AM
Rightly or wrongly the majority of bikers are men,scantily clad women go hand in hand with bikes.I for one like a nice looking model on a bike,some people don't.Its hard to please everyone(impossible actually).


Oh yeah Vanessa Upton is a favourite:thumbsu:

John Hopkins
30-12-2013, 12:46 PM
With me it's Jo Brand and Bella Emberg.

John.

harry
30-12-2013, 12:49 PM
With me it's Jo Brand and Bella Emberg.

John.

Best put them behind the bike then.

ratwing
30-12-2013, 01:14 PM
Best put them behind the bike then.

Like he says.
I buy the mag for the machines and no matter how good-looking a model is, its still annoying when theres a leg/bum/arm etc hiding something in a studio shot.
Its a bike mag with some models, it shouldn't look like a model's portfolio with bikes in the background.

Taff
30-12-2013, 01:48 PM
Hmmm anyone remember the issue where I printed the 'Odgie's Knob ' article... feckin funny...

Yes. It was a shite idea.
I didn't take that particular issue to work to read at snaptime, cos i was embarrassed about it and couldn't depend nor justify it.
The beeatch models are alright if they're smiling, the all too common "Dont fuck with me, i've got PMT" look just makes me wanna smash em in the fizzog with the frying pan and tell em to pull their knickers up and get the kettle on.
If it's a beeatch's bike, a shot or two of them nailing fuck out of it looks great. To have your bird posing sexy on it isn't fair on them any longer, the internet has made nasty or overtly sexual comments about them too easy.
There was a pic on here of long time poster Minxy doing a big ol' burnout on her own bike. Remarkably pretty and sexy girl, but the pic of her fully dressed in her camos or whatever, was sexy as fuck i thought.

Glyn aka Kingo
30-12-2013, 01:58 PM
As an old un on here I remember the old bike mags, and they were all about the bikes not an unclad female to be seen in any of them, mind you there was nowhere near the adverts that there is now.

100%Pat
30-12-2013, 04:45 PM
Yes. It was a shite idea.
I didn't take that particular issue to work to read at snaptime, cos i was embarrassed about it and couldn't depend nor justify it.
The beeatch models are alright if they're smiling, the all too common "Dont fuck with me, i've got PMT" look just makes me wanna smash em in the fizzog with the frying pan and tell em to pull their knickers up and get the kettle on.
If it's a beeatch's bike, a shot or two of them nailing fuck out of it looks great. To have your bird posing sexy on it isn't fair on them any longer, the internet has made nasty or overtly sexual comments about them too easy.
There was a pic on here of long time poster Minxy doing a big ol' burnout on her own bike. Remarkably pretty and sexy girl, but the pic of her fully dressed in her camos or whatever, was sexy as fuck i thought.

Minxy is a lovely girl and a good friend... and even my old man thinks she has a lovely arse... and hes told her on many occasions

Sir Ewok
31-12-2013, 01:45 PM
Any person looking at a model will see what they want to and are entitled to their opinion, the only problem is today's need to post every insignificant thought that passes through that persons mind. If you think the model is too fat/thin/ugly/blonde then, unless it is a regular occurrence, keep it to yourself. It is also unfortunate that some people get their jollies from hurting others or starting flame wars.......:confused:

deenjay
31-12-2013, 04:56 PM
A subject very close to my heart, after all I am a glamour photographer, and ive had 1 or 2 of my pictures in 100 biker. Every bike shoot I do I always give the owner of the bike a full set of pictures of the bike as well as s few with the model.
I have noticed recently the topless images are not featured as much, and I actrally prefer the lingerie ones.
It hasn't put me off buying the mag not seeing boobs so perhaps the way to go.
But its still a great down to earth mag. And thats what matters.

Dave J

100%Pat
31-12-2013, 07:23 PM
Yes. It was a shite idea.
I didn't take that particular issue to work to read at snaptime, cos i was embarrassed about it and couldn't depend nor justify it.
The beeatch models are alright if they're smiling, the all too common "Dont fuck with me, i've got PMT" look just makes me wanna smash em in the fizzog with the frying pan and tell em to pull their knickers up and get the kettle on.
If it's a beeatch's bike, a shot or two of them nailing fuck out of it looks great. To have your bird posing sexy on it isn't fair on them any longer, the internet has made nasty or overtly sexual comments about them too easy.
There was a pic on here of long time poster Minxy doing a big ol' burnout on her own bike. Remarkably pretty and sexy girl, but the pic of her fully dressed in her camos or whatever, was sexy as fuck i thought.
Oh and Taff, there was a lot of girlies very happy about that Odg photoshoot... :D

whistler
31-12-2013, 09:04 PM
Somehow, I think some of you are missing the point a little... when we created 100%Biker, its was not just as a Custom bike magazine, but a lifestyle magazine. Thats the rallies, the clubs, the bikes the jokes, the music and the people... yeah and the tits ...Obviously the bikes are a massive amd most important part... but not the whole ...:thumbsu:

Well said. :thumbsu:

Taff
01-01-2014, 10:18 AM
Oh and Taff, there was a lot of girlies very happy about that Odg photoshoot... :D

They should stick to Woman's Own and Hello, 100% is for geezers.

100%Pat
01-01-2014, 10:52 AM
They should stick to Woman's Own and Hello, 100% is for geezers.

Yeah Yeah...PMSL... Oooh Im officially a Geezer..:D

Creature
01-01-2014, 06:39 PM
not wanting to ignite the women in the mag debate (guess it will) but here is a thought, after seeing the owner of the featured bike, me thought it looks natural, he sorted complemented the bike that he had built, so why not photo the owner with the bike and not the model.

Probally because the owner dont want his pic in the magazine .......

As has been said there have been several tries at minor tweeks but sales figures prove they didnt work.

I can see all the points of the argument, but as Pat keeps saying the mag is a lifestyle choice ! so until we all stop ogling women at rallies,parties, wandering down the street or draped across some bike then its not gonna change.

Hate it or lov it 100% has to make a profit, if they dont then we loose the mag - and then you will all grumble about that...........

BikerGran
01-01-2014, 06:50 PM
...................................:agree:

Rushes
14-01-2014, 01:29 AM
Probally because the owner dont want his pic in the magazine .......

As has been said there have been several tries at minor tweeks but sales figures prove they didnt work.

I can see all the points of the argument, but as Pat keeps saying the mag is a lifestyle choice ! so until we all stop ogling women at rallies,parties, wandering down the street or draped across some bike then its not gonna change.

Hate it or lov it 100% has to make a profit, if they dont then we loose the mag - and then you will all grumble about that...........

Men dig good looking women and women dig good looking men.

A few months back, I edited a music vid which had been shot for an unsigned singer. She is into guys with tats, muscles, cruisers, trikes and there are many more like her.

My ex-wife married me because I was a low-brow, over muscled, neanderthal, rugby playing, hard drinking bloke (although I'm properly mellow these days). We married on a Wolf trike although I'm not a cruiser rider. Her friends were similar and any bloke turning up on a bike was faced with fighting off any number of good looking women who wanted to spend a night or 2 with them. All my mates on two wheels succumbed.

Women have their own mags where they look at over muscled, good looking, underdressed guys. This is a mag probably with a mainly male readership and has good looking, underdressed women. It's the way of the world.

And in case you are sceptical about the existence of the vid (I'm a 1st time poster):

John Hopkins
14-01-2014, 03:39 AM
Sorry about that..I removed your link.. as you said, it is your first post.

I'm sure you're a great bloke and the salt of the earth and all that but I don't know you from adam and the last thing I want is people on here clicking on a link that might give them a virus or something..

Anyway welcome to the forum, come and introduce yourself and tell us what you ride, fill in the user CP up there on the left and see if you may be living near to one or two of us.

John.

Rushes
14-01-2014, 03:52 AM
Sorry about that..I removed your link.. as you said, it is your first post.

I'm sure you're a great bloke and the salt of the earth and all that but I don't know you from adam and the last thing I want is people on here clicking on a link that might give them a virus or something..

Anyway welcome to the forum, come and introduce yourself and tell us what you ride, fill in the user CP up there on the left and see if you may be living near to one or two of us.

John.

Easy to find me. I live near the Ace... The vid was on YouTube - Kacey Wild. Name of the song was "The Best Ain't Good Enough."

It's just so you can see I'm not making this stuff up. Hell, it sounds weird when a woman writes a song that she loves cruiser riders and I edited the d@mn thing!

kidhaf
14-01-2014, 10:24 AM
Easy to find me. I live near the Ace... The vid was on YouTube - Kacey Wild. Name of the song was "The Best Ain't Good Enough."

It's just so you can see I'm not making this stuff up. Hell, it sounds weird when a woman writes a song that she loves cruiser riders and I edited the d@mn thing!

Sorry mate the youtube was clichéd beyond belief. Nearly puked in my mouth ....she looks old enough to be ma mither....had mental images of a female version of Bad News .....

harry
14-01-2014, 03:01 PM
Oh Dear..........

rob
14-01-2014, 05:04 PM
oh gawd.... :rolleyes:

100%Pat
14-01-2014, 05:47 PM
Sorry mate the youtube was clichéd beyond belief. Nearly puked in my mouth ....she looks old enough to be ma mither....had mental images of a female version of Bad News .....

everyone is entitled to an opinion .. BUT, THAT, was a tad uncalled for mate!
We have just on this very thread been saying how to make such unpleasant remarks publicly is not a great idea... :mad:

100%Pat
14-01-2014, 06:11 PM
Any person looking at a model will see what they want to and are entitled to their opinion, the only problem is today's need to post every insignificant thought that passes through that persons mind. If you think the model is too fat/thin/ugly/blonde then, unless it is a regular occurrence, keep it to yourself. It is also unfortunate that some people get their jollies from hurting others or starting flame wars.......:confused:

As in this post...

100%Pat
14-01-2014, 06:13 PM
Well put Chopper and i always ask any bloke,or women for that matter,who feel the need to post neg comments on another person to put up or shut up.
Get your kit off and lets see how perfect you are :D
or this one...

100%Pat
14-01-2014, 06:13 PM
Are you getting my point yet...:mad:

kidhaf
14-01-2014, 10:10 PM
aye very good so what you mean is my opinion of the video or the singer is less valid because you say so ....

Not a chance, every clichéd line you can think of was in the song.

The singer trying to strut about a la Bonny Tyler, give me peace done to death in the 70's,

If you set yourself up in the public eye as any body who makes a film or video or as somebody who takes part then expect people to have an opinion.

So do you want to start censoring posts or people opinions. If you think the way I put my comments was offensive then that's too bad its my opinion and that's not going to change.

The entire thing was cringe worthy. As for age yes she does look old. As for the song are you seriously going to defend those lyrics. I have rarely heard such a puerile piece of utter wordy nonsense.

In fact I don't even know why I am trying to justify myself its my opinion ye don't like it then too bad.

scanner
14-01-2014, 10:44 PM
gees give a girl a chance ;) see's living her dream with a few exceptions how many can say that (and i have at least 1 friend who'd be happy to see her walk in our local)

100%Pat
15-01-2014, 07:18 AM
aye very good so what you mean is my opinion of the video or the singer is less valid because you say so ....

Not a chance, every clichéd line you can think of was in the song.

The singer trying to strut about a la Bonny Tyler, give me peace done to death in the 70's,

If you set yourself up in the public eye as any body who makes a film or video or as somebody who takes part then expect people to have an opinion.

So do you want to start censoring posts or people opinions. If you think the way I put my comments was offensive then that's too bad its my opinion and that's not going to change.

The entire thing was cringe worthy. As for age yes she does look old. As for the song are you seriously going to defend those lyrics. I have rarely heard such a puerile piece of utter wordy nonsense.

In fact I don't even know why I am trying to justify myself its my opinion ye don't like it then too bad.
I agree its your opinion and as I said, you are entitled to it,I never said it wasnt valid, just unnecessarily harsh and unpleasant . This forum died more or less because of peoples opinions. So you didnt like it, thats fine, but did you have to be so unpleasant and put her down so badly. Whats wrong with saying, sorry mates, its not for me... I didnt like it. ?
The reason most people gave for leaving this forum over the last few years is peoples nastiness, or racist comments... and this place is just coming back... do you want to end up talking to yourself again...

John Hopkins
15-01-2014, 02:11 PM
Ok I started this off by deleting the link of a first post member who didn't bother to fill in the user CP and may have just been trolling for all we know..

Lets not snipe at each other, I'm probably right up there with the worst of the say what I think crowd and the thing about this forum that no other seems to have is this down the pub section which was started with the words, 'say what you would say if you were talking with your mates down the pub'

The only real difference is that in a pub the person would ask 'what do you think of this' and one would say 'crap'
' another would say 'She can't sing but she's got a nice arse' and a third would say 'It's your round' and by the time the drinks were in it would be forgotten..so please..drop it and move on..

John.

John Hopkins
15-01-2014, 02:15 PM
And Pat how can you think Kid would ever say anything nice about the English..

John.

kidhaf
15-01-2014, 02:54 PM
And Pat how can you think Kid would ever say anything nice about the English..

John.

Ahhhhhhhhh the bastards ..... I deliberately left that out .....Alba gu bràth.....gu bràth.....gu bràth....CLAYMORE.......


:p

John Hopkins
15-01-2014, 05:36 PM
Aye and you can cut that oot..Scotland until we stop drinking indeed..bloody Scottish nationalists..

John.

100%Pat
15-01-2014, 07:27 PM
cymru am byth

John Hopkins
15-01-2014, 09:12 PM
Alba ............. gu bràth

cymru ........... am byth

We have quite a lot in common..

John.

Strider
15-01-2014, 09:58 PM
Bloody welsh and scottish cliches!!!

The Beer Monsters
15-01-2014, 10:24 PM
Bloody welsh and scottish cliches!!!
Did you mean cliques, cliches, cloches or clashes? ;)

John Hopkins
15-01-2014, 11:11 PM
Bloody welsh and scottish cliches!!!

We have you boxed in..you might as well surrender...you already have a (mostly) white flag.

John.

John Hopkins
15-01-2014, 11:13 PM
Not bad..

We got from Women to civil war in three pages..

John.

wurzel
16-01-2014, 03:38 PM
takes women a lot less than 3 pages to get to civil war - usually 1 oil stain is enough

Scoobydoo
16-01-2014, 04:32 PM
Or leaving the toilet seat up bring back the good weather I need a big journey :rolleyes:

BikerGran
16-01-2014, 06:26 PM
Glad the last word was 'journey' after the first part..............


*unofficial snigger*

:sneaky:

harry
16-01-2014, 07:06 PM
What is this thing with women and toilet seats ?

If it's up and you want it down it's easy enough to close it.

Scoobydoo
16-01-2014, 07:31 PM
Harry your saying what every man thinks ,I think it's a way of a women to start a argument ,I've found a way over it I just piss on the floor . Now that's an argument :thumbsu:

ChopperFXR
17-01-2014, 02:24 AM
My ex used to go fucking nuts about leaving the bog seat up. So I used to do it deliberately. One day I was walking past a joke shop and decided to go in. Bought one of those plastic dog turds and took it home.

Later that day I left the plastic turd at the back of the pan, scrunched up some bog roll and left that on top of it.

OH FUCK!!! What a palaver that caused. Daft cow brought her mum round, soon as they walked in the door her mum says "Must use the loo"! and ran upstairs. She came back down again a few seconds later looking very pale. I tried, I really really tried not to laugh at both of them. Trying to kick start a big stroker Shovel while pissing yourself laughing is really not easy. Bitch hit me round the head twice before I got the fucker going.

Chopper :D

100%Pat
17-01-2014, 09:56 AM
Its just a matter of manners, which men generally do not have...:thumbd:

rob
17-01-2014, 10:45 AM
Its just a matter of manners, which men generally do not have...:thumbd:
aye, manners... and respect... put the seat back up when you've finished...

mickturate
17-01-2014, 11:56 AM
here y'go:

John Hopkins
17-01-2014, 01:31 PM
I always put the seat down, something my mum taught me when I first learned to use the toilet, she told me I was special and could pee standing up but she couldn't so would I put the seat down as part of the job..and I always have..

John.

mickturate
17-01-2014, 06:19 PM
women? you sad feckers wanna know about wimmin?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL-5kZCTJg4&feature=share

ChopperFXR
17-01-2014, 09:24 PM
women? you sad feckers wanna know about wimmin?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL-5kZCTJg4&feature=share

I dread to think what you were searching for when you found that. :D:D

Chopper

harry
17-01-2014, 09:33 PM
I always put the seat down, something my mum taught me when I first learned to use the toilet, she told me I was special and could pee standing up but she couldn't so would I put the seat down as part of the job..and I always have..

John.

Creep :D

harry
17-01-2014, 09:37 PM
Its just a matter of manners, which men generally do not have...:thumbd:

With respect (Cos I have got manners) That don't answer the question, as to why down should be considered the correct or polite position.

The best answers I've had, were: "It looks pretty"
and my favourite "It keeps out draughts"

John Hopkins
17-01-2014, 09:39 PM
With respect (Cos I have got manners) That don't answer the question, as to why down should be considered the correct or polite position.

The best answers I've had, were: "It looks pretty"
and my favourite "It keeps out draughts"

I've met harry and I have to back him up there..he does have manners...






It's just that he doesn't have any good ones..

He leaves the seat up so that it will drain.

John.

Sir Ewok
18-01-2014, 10:24 PM
South Park had the answer, Women who accidentally sit on the toilet with the seat up gut stuck by the suction of the loo and it pulls their innards out....:D

Why don't women lift the seat when they are finished since they have already had a pee, the chances are that her man will be next and he should put the seat down ready for her turn.:thumbu:

John Hopkins
18-01-2014, 10:46 PM
Yeah I can just imagine that, you've been married for umpteen years and your wife has always put the seat down, then you really need a crap and you rush in, pull your keks down and sit..

I reckon we would hear your shout all around the coast..

John.

100%Pat
19-01-2014, 10:06 AM
Its a numbers thing really, take an average couple, man\woman. three out of the four times they need to visit the loo, the seat needs to be down. Its ONLY when a bloke needs to pee that it needs to be up... so.. politeness, good manners etc etc says when you have finished put it down.
Anyway, its only men with no damn control over their own parts who should need to lift the lid... you manage to get it in a far smaller hole at other times, whats the big deal with needing to lift the seat on the loo... lack of bloody control thats all...

The Beer Monsters
19-01-2014, 10:55 AM
The obvious answer is that the seat is always down. If the bloke wants a piss, he can easily piss in the sink.

John Hopkins
19-01-2014, 11:53 AM
or the shower, or out of the window into the yard..

John.

BikerGran
19-01-2014, 02:46 PM
I am not a man - but I have been known to pee in the sink..........

There, something almost no-one knew about me............. :rolleyes:

Sir Ewok
19-01-2014, 03:24 PM
or in the wife's handbag, so much storage space it will take a while for her to notice, then you can blame the dog/kids/burglars. :thumbsu:

BikerGran
19-01-2014, 09:18 PM
I don't have a wife.

;)

Sir Ewok
22-01-2014, 01:32 PM
I was talking about guys, though there are some women out there with wives.

John Hopkins
22-01-2014, 06:13 PM
I don't have a dog or burglars..

John.

Scoobydoo
22-01-2014, 06:33 PM
I'm sorry to hear that john would you like one we have loads of burglars round hear and dogs

John Hopkins
22-01-2014, 10:28 PM
I think there are a few round here too, But I don't have any..

I'm buggered if Im going all the way to Stafford to get something they might have next door..

John.

mickturate
24-01-2014, 11:53 AM
teh black horse in taunton, overheard conversation:

"some bloke has bin in the ladies n pissed over the seat, messy fucker!"

me: "there are some wimmins wot won't sit on the seat, so they hovers n piss goes everywhere..." "might not be a bloke-just sayin..."

teh black horse is not what i'd suggest as a feminist stronghold but if looks could've killed.

:thumbsu: that'll larn em i thought as i chuckled to meself & ordered another libation
:thumbsu:

critch
29-01-2014, 08:30 PM
Alba ............. gu bràth

cymru ........... am byth

We have quite a lot in common..

John.

indeed john, you were both brought to heel by the english:thumbsu:;)

RUNS LIKE FEK!!!!!!

kidhaf
30-01-2014, 08:09 AM
indeed john, you were both brought to heel by the english:thumbsu:;)

RUNS LIKE FEK!!!!!!

Being slagged by somebody from the pool ...:poke: